Will I Live to be 80?
I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab test, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?"
"Oh no", I replied. "I've never done either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?" I said, "No, I heard that all red meat is very unhealthy."
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf / sailing / ballooning / motorcycling / rock climbing?"
"No I don't", I said.
He said, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually fool around?"
"No", I said. "I have never done any of those things."
He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a slime if you live to be 80?"
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they've made a difference...The Marines don't have that problem" Ronald Reagan
He asked, "well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?"
"Oh no", I replied. "I've never done either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?" I said, "No, I heard that all red meat is very unhealthy."
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf / sailing / ballooning / motorcycling / rock climbing?"
"No I don't", I said.
He said, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually fool around?"
"No", I said. "I have never done any of those things."
He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a slime if you live to be 80?"
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they've made a difference...The Marines don't have that problem" Ronald Reagan
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A 75 year-old man goes to his doctor for a check-up.
Doctor: "You're doing fairly well for your age."
Patient: "You think I'll live to be 80?"
Doctor: "Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer?"
Patient: "No, I've never done either."
Doctor: "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
Patient: "No, red meat is unhealthy!"
Doctor: "Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, such as playing golf?"
Patient: "No, I don't."
Doctor: "Do you gamble, drive fast cars or fool around with sexy women?"
Patient: "No, never!"
Doctor: "Then why the hell do you want to live to be 80?"
Measure twice, cut once.
Empty the clip!0 -
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and
exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking
him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?" "Oh no,"
I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either!"
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?
I said, "No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very
unhealthy!"
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf,
sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"
"No, I don't," I said.
He asked, "Do you gamble, d rive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"
"No," I said.
He looked at me and said, "Then, why do you even give a hoot!!?"0
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