Why I think sports is for maroons!
Saw this on another forum - he thought sports freaks were 'moroons[:o)],' too.
Of ALL the ways to waste time - many a LOT more fun - 'sports observing' is my
least favorite - and what a wonderful way to throw away countless (ticket) big
bucks! ... for what? ... dunno, I don 't, beats me.
1) Players refer to each other by their last names with an "y" suffix - e.g. Stairsy, Zauney... WTH?
2) Sports interviews are always so incredibly dumb. All athletes on a given team all basically say the same old clich?s every time they are interviewed:
- "we really fought hard"
- "you gotta go out and give it your all and see what happens"
- "you have to swing at good pitches"
- "you have to be ready"
- "these are a great bunch of guys"
... Well, maybe I don't quite have my imitation down, but my point is that these conversations always seem so incredibly scripted and politician-like. Are athletes trained to speak to the press in a certain way? This speech is so carefully guarded it is so incredibly boring, and the worst part is when the interviewee has to pretend that something profound was just said
3) Sports broadcasts are always so incredibly dumb, and seemingly targeted at the dumbest people in society. Conversation is always so incredibly inane, and the music that goes along with it always some high energy patriotic music of some sort that sounds like it is made to make viewers feel tough and bad ass sitting on their couches drinking beer and watching the game
4) Players pat each other on the butts, but only give little man hugs when they celebrate things
5) What's with all the spitting anyway? I've exerted myself before, and I never have this sort of problem with my phlem (sp?!). Do players really work up all of this junk in their lungs walking between the dugout and the plate? Maybe they should get their lungs checked out
6) What is actually said in arguments between umpires and managers? It always seems like they have so much to say, so much to debate... How many words are necessary to say that you think that was a ball/strike, or that you think the umpire is being inconsistent?
I'm sure your average jock is no brain surgeon, but I'm sure they are smarter than they come across in environments where they can be themselves... It would be fun to shadow a famous ball player for a day.
[:D][}:)][:D]
Of ALL the ways to waste time - many a LOT more fun - 'sports observing' is my
least favorite - and what a wonderful way to throw away countless (ticket) big
bucks! ... for what? ... dunno, I don 't, beats me.
1) Players refer to each other by their last names with an "y" suffix - e.g. Stairsy, Zauney... WTH?
2) Sports interviews are always so incredibly dumb. All athletes on a given team all basically say the same old clich?s every time they are interviewed:
- "we really fought hard"
- "you gotta go out and give it your all and see what happens"
- "you have to swing at good pitches"
- "you have to be ready"
- "these are a great bunch of guys"
... Well, maybe I don't quite have my imitation down, but my point is that these conversations always seem so incredibly scripted and politician-like. Are athletes trained to speak to the press in a certain way? This speech is so carefully guarded it is so incredibly boring, and the worst part is when the interviewee has to pretend that something profound was just said
3) Sports broadcasts are always so incredibly dumb, and seemingly targeted at the dumbest people in society. Conversation is always so incredibly inane, and the music that goes along with it always some high energy patriotic music of some sort that sounds like it is made to make viewers feel tough and bad ass sitting on their couches drinking beer and watching the game
4) Players pat each other on the butts, but only give little man hugs when they celebrate things
5) What's with all the spitting anyway? I've exerted myself before, and I never have this sort of problem with my phlem (sp?!). Do players really work up all of this junk in their lungs walking between the dugout and the plate? Maybe they should get their lungs checked out
6) What is actually said in arguments between umpires and managers? It always seems like they have so much to say, so much to debate... How many words are necessary to say that you think that was a ball/strike, or that you think the umpire is being inconsistent?
I'm sure your average jock is no brain surgeon, but I'm sure they are smarter than they come across in environments where they can be themselves... It would be fun to shadow a famous ball player for a day.
[:D][}:)][:D]
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Well Zipper... We agree!
You've analyzed more than I'd ever be inclined to, but you're right! I don't understand NASCAR, I don't understand wrestling or boxing, and I certainly don't understand anything that has to do with a ball.
Football... There's supposed to be a method to the madness, but I don't see it. I've seen blackboards where players and coaches seem to intently study theory, plays, and counter-plays. But what I really see is a bunch of beefy characters running helter-skelter chasing after a pointy-ended thing (certainly NOT a ball) and crashing into each other with a resulting varying degree of trauma.
Basketball... No ethnic slur intended, but usually a bunch of very tall and oft times tattooed black guys running back and forth on a small court with the intent of putting a silly ball into a basket. What's that all about?
Hockey... This is a game I somewhat understand. It's really just a bar fight, but they use a black rubber disk as an excuse to start hitting one another. Great fun, but what does it have to do with sports?
Baseball... As far as I can tell it's a brilliant ploy to be able to spit and scratch one's private parts in public and being paid to do so while not much else is going on. Very strange! And there's never much going on.
Golf... This one entirely eludes me. I'd at first concluded that it must be something to do with gays, but then I ran across some evidence of mixed groups. Purportedly hetro couples doing whatever golfers do. Next I though it might be an excuse to get some exercise, but everybody uses motorized carts. I've concluded that golf is really just a drinking man's sport as the goal seems to be mostly to get to the clubhouse and lie about one's score. And maybe get a bit drunk.
And the greatest sport of all... Watching someone else do these silly things.
I just don't get it! I'd rather watch grass grow or paint dry.0 -
[}:)][}:)][}:)][}:)]What about the shooting sports?[}:)][}:)][}:)][:D] 0 -
[8D]--It really cracks me up when a commentator asks a PRO golfer what his "game plan" is--
--[:p][:p]--JIMBO0 -
quote:Originally posted by jimbowby
[8D]--It really cracks me up when a commentator asks a PRO golfer what his "game plan" is--
--[:p][:p]--JIMBO
..After much "blah, blah, blah", his goal is to drop a small ball into a hole in the ground.
..cholla, I like shooting, therefore I enjoy watching others shoot. What I don't enjoy doing is scratching my crotch in public, being tackled by large men or running from basket to basket, getting an elbow in the eye from time to time. A case could be made for spectator sports, in that one can live vicariously by watching. If one would truly like to be able to play those sports, but the chances are nill, I can understand. (sort of) I suppose I'd like to drop the hammer in an NHRA top fueler, just once.0 -
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sport
sport [spawrt, spohrt] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
-noun
1. an athletic activity requiring skill or physical prowess and often of a competitive nature, as racing, baseball, tennis, golf, bowling, wrestling, boxing, hunting, fishing, etc.
Shooting? Sport??? "Athletic activity?"
Kidding, right?
[}:)][}:)][}:)]0 -
ive beentrying to tellthe folks here about this for years. football, basketball, hockey,etc...is a waste of time.
except yankees vs. red sox baseball.[:D]0 -
You got it right!!!
I especially hate the "I gave 110%". It is, of course, impossible to give 110%, but most of these bozo's evidently stopped attending class about the fourth grade.
"Sports hero" is an oxymoron0 -
I never got it. Some sports are fun to PLAY but why anyone would want to sit and watch someoen else is beyond me. I suspect it is because their own lives are so boring. I'm not exactly criticizing sports fans.....just saying I don't understand you on a fundamental level. 0 -
Thanks, I thought is was just me, LOL! 0 -
...People that have known me forever will still say "Hey, did you see that play in the fourth inning last night, when......(fill in the blank?)
What? You didn't watch THE GAME? Then they remember that I have no clue who played in the world series or superbowl, and can't name more than two or three NASCAR drivers, and don't know what their numbers are.
...I will make one concession, though: women's softball. [;)]
...Now if you want to talk about Prudhomme, Muldowney, Garlits, The Snake and The Mongoose, you may hold my interest for a while.0 -
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... I remember that guy .... lost his contact lens in the endzone - forget
the game.[:o)]0 -
If it don't involve guns....
I'm not interested![:o)]0 -
...That Neanderthal-like brow ridge is fitting. 0 -
This cute little snippet is likely the authors' most recognized piece. He's probably just jealous of the money and the "status" the players can hold in their respective communities. And the guy has probably never done an athletic thing in his life, no, he's probably never done a competitive thing in his life. 0 -
I enjoyed one superbowl,10? years ago, I normaly dont't watch sports but it was $1 pints and free pizza at half time,it was hysterical, one side of the room booed the other cheered,and even I could see the referees were blind, it was a good time, but I don't watch any sports. 0 -
oh and it's macaroons 0 -
The Romans determined when they discontinued the "colosseum games" there was a lot of trouble with the population. It seems violent contact sports provides an important release, having an important calming effect on the spectators. However, an exception are soccer fans who are incited to violence in some countries, notably England
Basketball provides the additional benefit of sharpening up teamwork for three and five man mugging teams.0 -
OK, I'll be the odd dude. I've always enjoyed sports, especially football. I don't much care for golf and tennis.
My cardiologist isn't exactly a brain surgeon, but he is a heart surgeon. I used a football analogy to explain some of my heart attack symptoms to him. He wanted to know "how do you feel right now?" I asked him if he ever played football. He said he had. I asked him if he knew how it felt when you had done more than you thought you could do, and had that burning in the upper part of your chest and you were breathing, but didn't feel like you were getting oxygen. He said he was familiar with that feeling and seemed to think I had given him the information he was looking for.
Not all football players are knuckle draggers or have a Neanderthal-like brow. Some of them cut your heart open and play with it. [:D]0 -
I've just never gotten interested in sports. That's probably from growing up in Bronco Territory.
I do understand the comraderie and sense of belonging that college and pro sports fans enjoy, I just don't share it.
Good for those who do. I just don't.0 -
I actually used to play just about everything in HS and then went away to school - three jobs - working in PA during the summers, just didn't have time anymore.
Still don't.0
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