The most hateful thing you ever said to Dad
when I was growing up, my dad never had time to show up at my baseball games. One day dad got me so mad, I told him, I'll never work at that damn papermill. He did the one thing that was worse that anything, slapped me.
over the years I saw he was doing his best to keep a roof over our head. I had three sisters. so making sure we had food on the table.
we use to run around in bare feet. We had shoes to go to school, and chruch.
I almost lost my dad one yrs. I got a chance to tell him just how much I loved him, and wanted him to know how much those words have been eating at me.
He told me not to worry about it, He was looking for the time to tell me his was sorry for slapping me.
over the years I saw he was doing his best to keep a roof over our head. I had three sisters. so making sure we had food on the table.
we use to run around in bare feet. We had shoes to go to school, and chruch.
I almost lost my dad one yrs. I got a chance to tell him just how much I loved him, and wanted him to know how much those words have been eating at me.
He told me not to worry about it, He was looking for the time to tell me his was sorry for slapping me.
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Mark Twain allegedly once said: "When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned."
Chris0 -
I told mine I was gonna vote for a Democrat.
Clouder..0 -
Told mine his work had been meaningless (to a man who served 21 years as superintendent and physician at a missionary hospital in rural Africa).
Damn, kids can be cruel.
I have a better relationship with him, now.0 -
when we are young it is so easy to think only of ourselves.
when we grow up, most of us, learn before we hurt someone else0 -
I don't think I ever was verbally disrespectful of him, but he once told me that I was "...the dumbest F**kin' kid" he had ever seen.
I guess he was right.
By the way, that was the only time I ever heard him use that word.
Doug0 -
meet Derick 0 -
I don't recall ever saying anything cross to my dad. He's always talking about how I'm a good son and was never any trouble...
... apparently he's never seen how I behave here.[:p][:D][;)]0 -
never said anything bad to him. I wouldn't dare, I'd get clobbered. the closest I came to doing something like that, me and my mom were yelling at each other, I called her a (fatlady), he threw me on the couch, jumped on top and pummelled my ass.
y'know it's weird, plenty of times he's spit on me, told me I'm worthless, made me eat garbage, knocked me across the room, choked me up against a wall, blah blah for no good reason -but- he always demanded that I respect him, and treat everybody else with respect too. not once did it ever occur to me that he was contradicting himself so badly.0 -
buschmaster,
Damn... sounds like you had it real rough. I'm sorry to hear that.0 -
I don't like thinking about it.
I have a better relationship with him than many of my good friends.0 -
When my Dad was at the near peak of his drinking problem, and my mom was still alive, I would come to their house to find my Dad ripped, and my Mom would start the b i t c h i n g. She was desperate and at her wits end, and she was using me to voice her frustration, as well as expecting me to do something or say something to get him to stop.
I recall making some pretty rude, demeaning comments to my Dad, though the specifics are lost.
After Mom died, and he hit rock bottom and did the 28-day thing. He's been sober for three years now.
A few months ago, we had a conversation, in which he apologized for wasting so many years in the bottle and not sobering up for Mom. I cried, he cried, I apologized for my rudeness. I honestly didn't think in his alcoholic haze he would remember, but he did.
Glad I had the opportunity to square things away.0 -
quote:Originally posted by Kimbercolt
when I was growing up, my dad never had time to show up at my baseball games. One day dad got me so mad, I told him, I'll never work at that damn papermill. He did the one thing that was worse that anything, slapped me.
over the years I saw he was doing his best to keep a roof over our head. I had three sisters. so making sure we had food on the table.
we use to run around in bare feet. We had shoes to go to school, and chruch.
I almost lost my dad one yrs. I got a chance to tell him just how much I loved him, and wanted him to know how much those words have been eating at me.
He told me not to worry about it, He was looking for the time to tell me his was sorry for slapping me.
tell me that wasn't your ideal of a traumatic childhood?0 -
My father died when I was 18 months old. I never said anything to him. 0 -
My dad passed away in '95. A country boy that left school in the 5th grade to go to work on the family farm. Loved my mom, raised myself and younger sister when my mom passed away. Was holding his hand when he died. Last thing I said was goodbye. Left me with a really high mark to reach with my kids/grandkids/greatgrandkids. Hell of a shot with a rifle or shotgun, and not too shabby with a revolver. Yeah, still miss him. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by 1911a1fan
quote:Originally posted by Kimbercolt
when I was growing up, my dad never had time to show up at my baseball games. One day dad got me so mad, I told him, I'll never work at that damn papermill. He did the one thing that was worse that anything, slapped me.
over the years I saw he was doing his best to keep a roof over our head. I had three sisters. so making sure we had food on the table.
we use to run around in bare feet. We had shoes to go to school, and chruch.
I almost lost my dad one yrs. I got a chance to tell him just how much I loved him, and wanted him to know how much those words have been eating at me.
He told me not to worry about it, He was looking for the time to tell me his was sorry for slapping me.
tell me that wasn't your ideal of a traumatic childhood?
no it was not a traumatic childhood. my dad worked damn hard but at the time, I did not see it. we had one pair of shoes for school and chruch. we had food, a roof over our heads, cloths,
I made the comment, because I said something that I knew hurt him. dont be an a$$.0 -
I guess the worst thing I ever said to my dad was, Nothing at all.
When I turned 15 year old I just broke contact with him. Really did not see or talk to him at all. But we were both to stubborn and hard headed to break the silence. After all I am him and he is me. I called him 20years latter, And invited him to my wedding. He came, we talked and now we see each other at least once a week. To go fishing or hunting and some times to the range. We never talked about why we did not speak to each other for so long. Though I regret us not being a part of each others lives (you can not get that time back) I am happy that we are now.0 -
I can't think of any time when I was young that I ever purposely attempted to verbally hurt my dad. There were MANY times I thought about it. But I always had too much respect for him to actually do it.
We get in some pretty heated political discussion these days. He's a stuanch "Missouri Democrat" who gets all his news from the Liberal TV media. To say the least I dissagree w/his views. And am absolutely dumbfounded that the man who tuaght me my morals and principles, now seems to have nearly abandoned them.
But when we're done, there's no hard feelings.0 -
I cannot honestly recall ever saying anything hatefull to my dad. 0 -
I'm with Joe. I can't remember a time that Pop hasn't had my respect, admiration and love. 0 -
I don't recall ever saying anything hateful to Dad, at least not loud enough for him to hear. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by Kimbercolt
quote:Originally posted by 1911a1fan
quote:Originally posted by Kimbercolt
when I was growing up, my dad never had time to show up at my baseball games. One day dad got me so mad, I told him, I'll never work at that damn papermill. He did the one thing that was worse that anything, slapped me.
over the years I saw he was doing his best to keep a roof over our head. I had three sisters. so making sure we had food on the table.
we use to run around in bare feet. We had shoes to go to school, and chruch.
I almost lost my dad one yrs. I got a chance to tell him just how much I loved him, and wanted him to know how much those words have been eating at me.
He told me not to worry about it, He was looking for the time to tell me his was sorry for slapping me.
tell me that wasn't your ideal of a traumatic childhood?
no it was not a traumatic childhood. my dad worked damn hard but at the time, I did not see it. we had one pair of shoes for school and chruch. we had food, a roof over our heads, cloths,
I made the comment, because I said something that I knew hurt him. dont be an a$$.
you wrote those things as if that was the reason you said what you did, and that he didn't show up to your baseball games, as if you said those things out of resentment, and quote: quote: He did the one thing that was worse that anything, slapped me.
sorry but there are far worse things my mother would have done, i would gladly have traded a slap for a beating with an extension cord any day, i wish i could have played baseball as a kid, and have no one show up, but there was no one to pay for it, so i will never know how it would feel not to have anyone come to one of my games
whats the worse thing i said to my dad?
i was 16, i said: put that shovel down you old goat{i just got laid out with from behind}, and fight like a man, then i rendered him unconscious with my first punch, he woke up 4 hours later and we began a nice relationship till the day he died0 -
well I can tell you three things.
1. He is a hell of a dad, even with the crap I put him thru, that being said. He made sure we had the things we needed.
2. He never had to beat me to get me to do anything.
3. I never gave him a reason to beat me.
so yea I was lucky to have the dad I had.0 -
In the last 40 years, i have never heard my dad say anything hateful. There have been times that as a child i thought he said some mean things, but as i look back now, i think he was pretty dang smart for an old guy. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by nunn
I don't recall ever saying anything hateful to Dad, at least not loud enough for him to hear.
That made me laugh. I guess I was looking backward through my rose-colored glasses. Because when I read this post, I remembered with crystal clarity, my father telling me, "You should wait until I'm completely out of earshot, Andrew."
Mom called me Andrew a lot, but when Pop did, it made my ears burn. Travis can probably attest to this, but when you are very young and your dad is a cop, you are convinced that he has ears like a bat, eyes like an eagle, can read your thoughts and look into your future. And when he did look into your future, it was not a "Leave It To Beaver" episode, it was a smokey, dark, apocalyptic moonscape of pain and desperation.
At least that's what it seemed to my 7-year-old self when I used my father's fencing foils to trim the roses.0 -
I've had enough, I'm moving out...as I left at age 16 0 -
While our relationship was not a close one, I never showed my father anything but respect. I recall once during a summer vacation from high school I asked my father if there were any plans for some sort of family vaction. As always his answer was no and that I was expected (again) to assist him in his plumbing business.
"Come on Pop, we never go anywhere or see anything".
His answer: "Your mother and I did not come to this country for sight seeing".0 -
quote:Originally posted by Kimbercolt
well I can tell you three things.
1. He is a hell of a dad, even with the crap I put him thru, that being said. He made sure we had the things we needed.
2. He never had to beat me to get me to do anything.
3. I never gave him a reason to beat me.
so yea I was lucky to have the dad I had.
sorry if i miss read your intentions of the thread, sounded like you was wining a bit about those things, i saw a television special once about how "tuff" some people have it, they had a woman on there in tears on how bad life was, her example was that they could not afford to have their personal tennis court repaved this year, i know people that do not talk to their parents for the things you described, now i'm not denying there where not times i deserved a good azz beating, but when your a grown man, and every person in your family comments on how you where abused you tend to believe it wasn't always just you being a difficult child, and i have known people who had it far worse than i did, my sister called me up once and asked me if i beat my kids because i was abused{she wasn't}, i told her how it was up to me, and me only to break that cycle, it will never happen, i have 2 wonderful kids that live a wonderful life, and know they are loved0 -
and lived?
im alive.....that should tell you how much hate for him i mentioned to him.[;)]0 -
Kimbercolt,
Thanks for making me miss my Dad ... it's a good thing. [^]
It's easy to father a child but being a "Dad" is a different story. I lost my Dad in 2005 but his legacy is alive and well. I have nothing but fond memories with him.
I grew up in culture in which we do not dare be disrespectful to our elders, esp. our parents. Having said that, I never said anything hateful to him. If it's bad, the only thing I wished was that my parents are more involved with me as I was growing up. However, now that I have my own family, I fully understand why.
My parents' set of values is to provide, provide, and provide for their families (like their ancestors before them) in their hopes to make our lives better than theirs. Good, bad, or indifferent, it was theirs (and perhaps the only thing they knew at the time).
Now it is our turn, my wife and I promised ourselves that we are going to be heavily involved with our kids and all their endeavors.
I got rarely spanked growing up but I deserve it. [:p]0 -
quote:Originally posted by FEENIX
Kimbercolt,
Thanks for making me miss my Dad ... it's a good thing. [^]
It's easy to father a child but being a "Dad" is a different story. I lost my Dad in 2005 but his legacy is alive and well. I have nothing but fond memories with him.
I grew up in culture in which we do not dare be disrespectful to our elders, esp. our parents. Having said that, I never said anything hateful to him. If it's bad, the only thing I wished was that my parents are more involved with me as I was growing up. However, now that I have my own family, I fully understand why.
My parents' set of values is to provide, provide, and provide for their families (like their ancestors before them) in their hopes to make our lives better than theirs. Good, bad, or indifferent, it was theirs (and perhaps the only they knew at the time).
Now it is our turn, my wife and I promised ourselves that we are going to be heavily involved with our kids and all their endeavors.
I got rarely spanked growing up but I deserve it. [:p]
Yours sounds like a mirror to my own upbringing.
Trying to provide for four boys took up the time that Pop could've spent playing games with us. And it was never appreciated until we all got older. What he did instill in us was a 24-carat work ethic. Now, if times are tight or we need something we just can't afford, I'll take day work doing manual labor to make up the difference. Pop never felt any shame in an honest day's labor and neither do I.
Like you, I'm having the time of my life with my daughter.
And, luckily, so is her grandfather.0
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