American Legion Parting Shots (Humor) September 07
I didn't say it was funny. I just C&Ped it. [:D]
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight. By then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
A SUNDAY-SCHOOL TEACHER was discussing the Ten Commandments with her class of 5- and 6-year-olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
GRETA WAS AN OLD, grandmotherly type. She was well-known for her faith and talking about it. Every morning she would go out on the front porch and shout, "Praise the Lord!" Her next-door neighbor would shout back, "There ain't no Lord!"
Greta was very poor, so the neighbor decided to prove his point by buying a large bag of groceries and placing it at her door. The next morning, she went to the porch, and seeing the groceries, she shouted, "Praise the Lord!"
The neighbor stepped out from behind a tree in the yard and said, "I brought those groceries, and there ain't no Lord."
Greta smiled and shouted, "Lord, you not only sent me food but you made the devil pay for it!"
"ON FRIDAY, the space shuttle landed successfully here in California, and it made history. It marked the first time seven people landed here in one vehicle legally." - Jay Lena
A MAN NAMED JOHN was 32 years old and still single. One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who would make a good wife?"
"Actually," John replied, "I've found women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thought for a moment and said, "You should find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later John and his friend met again, and his friend asked, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, John answered, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right. My mother liked her very much."
"Then what's the problem?" "My father doesn't like her."
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight. By then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
A SUNDAY-SCHOOL TEACHER was discussing the Ten Commandments with her class of 5- and 6-year-olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
GRETA WAS AN OLD, grandmotherly type. She was well-known for her faith and talking about it. Every morning she would go out on the front porch and shout, "Praise the Lord!" Her next-door neighbor would shout back, "There ain't no Lord!"
Greta was very poor, so the neighbor decided to prove his point by buying a large bag of groceries and placing it at her door. The next morning, she went to the porch, and seeing the groceries, she shouted, "Praise the Lord!"
The neighbor stepped out from behind a tree in the yard and said, "I brought those groceries, and there ain't no Lord."
Greta smiled and shouted, "Lord, you not only sent me food but you made the devil pay for it!"
"ON FRIDAY, the space shuttle landed successfully here in California, and it made history. It marked the first time seven people landed here in one vehicle legally." - Jay Lena
A MAN NAMED JOHN was 32 years old and still single. One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who would make a good wife?"
"Actually," John replied, "I've found women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thought for a moment and said, "You should find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later John and his friend met again, and his friend asked, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, John answered, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right. My mother liked her very much."
"Then what's the problem?" "My father doesn't like her."
0
Please sign in to leave a comment.
Comments
0 comments