Joke about Religion
At an 'old time revival' the visiting Preacher is on a roll. He's doing the 'fire and brimstone' routine and the congregation is fired up. Finally he comes around front of the pulpit and exclaims in a loud voice:
"If you want to go to Heaven jump up and say Amen!"
All of the congregation jumps up and yells "Amen!"...except for one old man sitting in the front pew, who just sits there, silent, with his arms folded across his chest. The preachers notices this and isn't too pleased- but figures he just didn't get through to the guy so he gives it another go.
The preacher launches another series of bible verse quotes, predictions of Armageddon and then finishes up by exclaiming"If you want to go to Heaven jump up and say Amen!" even louder than the first time.
And once again, all of the congregation jumps up and yells "Amen!" even louder than before...except for the same old man sitting in the front pew with a stony look on his face and his arms folded across his chest.
Now the preacher is really peeved- but he gives it a third try. No luck same results. Every one in the congregation responded by jumping up and saying "Amen!" except for the one old man in the front pew. At this point the preacher can't stand it any more and after the congregation sits back down the preacher directly confronts the old man in the front pew.
"BROTHER!" thunders the red-faced preacher into the old man's face, "DON'T YOU WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN?!?!"
The congregation is stunned and the church is deathly quiet. The old man is one of the oldest members of the church and widely respected, but has a reputation for being blunt with his opinions. Everyone is holding his breath wondering what the old man will say.
"WELL??? DON'T YOU WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN, BROTHER?!?!" demands the preacher again.
The old man finally replies in a calm but clear voice: "Yes preacher, I do want to go to heaven when I die. But the way you've been carrying on up there, it seems like you're trying to get up a busload to go tonight."
"If you want to go to Heaven jump up and say Amen!"
All of the congregation jumps up and yells "Amen!"...except for one old man sitting in the front pew, who just sits there, silent, with his arms folded across his chest. The preachers notices this and isn't too pleased- but figures he just didn't get through to the guy so he gives it another go.
The preacher launches another series of bible verse quotes, predictions of Armageddon and then finishes up by exclaiming"If you want to go to Heaven jump up and say Amen!" even louder than the first time.
And once again, all of the congregation jumps up and yells "Amen!" even louder than before...except for the same old man sitting in the front pew with a stony look on his face and his arms folded across his chest.
Now the preacher is really peeved- but he gives it a third try. No luck same results. Every one in the congregation responded by jumping up and saying "Amen!" except for the one old man in the front pew. At this point the preacher can't stand it any more and after the congregation sits back down the preacher directly confronts the old man in the front pew.
"BROTHER!" thunders the red-faced preacher into the old man's face, "DON'T YOU WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN?!?!"
The congregation is stunned and the church is deathly quiet. The old man is one of the oldest members of the church and widely respected, but has a reputation for being blunt with his opinions. Everyone is holding his breath wondering what the old man will say.
"WELL??? DON'T YOU WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN, BROTHER?!?!" demands the preacher again.
The old man finally replies in a calm but clear voice: "Yes preacher, I do want to go to heaven when I die. But the way you've been carrying on up there, it seems like you're trying to get up a busload to go tonight."
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[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D] Think I used to go to that church! [:D][:D][:D][:D][:D] 0 -
goooooddddd one. The first time I heard it, I laughed so hard, I fell off my dinosaur. [:D][:D][:D][:D][:D] 0 -
quote:Originally posted by fideau
goooooddddd one. The first time I heard it, I laughed so hard, I fell off my dinosaur. [:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]
Yep, I think the Apostle Paul told that one on his FIRST missionary journey. But then, some folks don't get out much--at least not to church. [:(]0
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