Finally!!!! She says she is thinking of breaking
The boy she has "liked" for over a year has some bad news coming. I didn't like that boy.....so I'm glad to hear she may let him go. My plan to keep her grounded and not let her go anywhere with him actually worked! The bad news is that the girl that has been coming over to my home to visit has a boyfriend and his buddy has her eye now. I don't know about the boys.....but the girl I don't like at all.
Teenagers are certainly a pain in the but.
Teenagers are certainly a pain in the but.
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Let me know when she turns 18 or 19 and I'll take her off your hands for you. [;)] 0 -
You will have to get in line with all of the other people that have said that to me. I think I may need to go ahead and get a backhoe and some kind of plan drawn up for all the digging it looks like I have in the future. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by Locust Fork
I think I may need to go ahead and get a backhoe and some kind of plan drawn up for all the digging it looks like I have in the future.
Graves or a moat.[:D]0 -
If it's a moat, I'll help you dig it. 0 -
Moat sounds cool! But I would also need a tower if I went in that direction. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by Locust Fork
Moat sounds cool! But I would also need a tower if I went in that direction.
I know how to weld. And I spent most of a year sitting in a guard tower.0 -
Teen agers should be deep frozen and thawed out about 40 years old. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by Locust Fork
Moat sounds cool! But I would also need a tower if I went in that direction.
You could avoid the time and expense of a tower if you fill the moat with your favorite carnivorous aquatic predator.[:D]0 -
LF, take solace in the fact that it is usually the "good girls" that you really have to worry about.
Ben0 -
Alabama climate would be hard....I would like pirahana (spelling?) but I hear a hippo can be pretty agressive. Aligators may entice the idots who think they can to actually wrestle them. Hmmmmmmm what to choose.
I was thinking more like a castle style tower.0 -
quote:Originally posted by Locust Fork
Alabama climate would be hard....I would like pirahana (spelling?) but I hear a hippo can be pretty agressive. Aligators may entice the idots who think they can to actually wrestle them. Hmmmmmmm what to choose.
I was thinking more like a castle style tower.
You could get a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. Here's a c&p from Wikipedia:
quote:Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal
The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal is a creature that hails from the planet of Traal, and will eat anything. If you are to encounter one, the Guide tells you that it's impossible to slay, so you should wrap a towel around your head. This creature is so mind-bogglingly stupid that it assumes that if you can't see it, then it can't see you.
In the Infocom adventure game adaptation of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the Bugblatter Beast asks its victims their names before killing them, and carves the names on a memorial outside its cave. The game also describes the Beast as having Lasero-Zap eyes, Swivel-Shear Teeth, and several dozen tungsten carbide Vast Pain claws forged in the sun furnaces of Zangrijad, all implying that it is a cyborg.
According to the radio scripts, the Beast's eyes can turn red, green, then a sort of mauvy pink.
In the movie version, the Guide has an entry on what to do if you face certain, unavoidable death at the claws of a Bugblatter Beast: the same method for "What to do if you find yourself trapped beneath a large boulder with no means of escape" from Fit the Eighth of the radio series. The entry is this: "Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer."
And a link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Races_and_species_in_The_Hitchhiker's_Guide_to_the_Galaxy0 -
This reminds of something a old cowboy in cokeville Wyoming told me when my first daughter was born
He said,
"Son, when comes to take'n care of kids, little boys you only have to worry about one zipper, but little girls grow up and you have to worry about every zipper in town"0 -
quote:Originally posted by Locust Fork
You will have to get in line with all of the other people that have said that to me. I think I may need to go ahead and get a backhoe and some kind of plan drawn up for all the digging it looks like I have in the future.
I have 3 girls. Not teens yet but will all be close to the same time. I already have a backhoe. [:D]0 -
Zulu, hands off. Im younger and closer to her age. [:D][:D] kidding.
hey LF, my dad is heavy machinery for a living, im sure he could hook ya up with a few graves. [;)]
Couple turrets never hurt anyone. Or.... did they?0 -
Now you see LF!
You shoulda done like I say I am going to do with my daughter at about age 12!
She will be locked in the closet untill she reaches age 18![:o)][;)][:D][:o)]0 -
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Get a double barrel 10ga., or 8ga would be even better. Then pratice your mean nasty look and meet each boy in the doorway and read them the rules. Put up a couple crosses out back and tell them this is where the rule breakers end up. [}:)][:p] 0 -
I have actually done that, except for the phony graves !
D.0 -
LF i know this is more for a man, but you can use your imagination and change it to suit your needs
{i know it's an oldie, but still great}
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, becasue you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: YOu may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes to big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, infact come off during the course of you date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk aobut sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my duaghter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: early."
Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. INstead of just standing there why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. PLaces where there is danceing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient tamperature is warm enough to introduce my duaghter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything othere than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chan saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten:
Be afraid,. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveways you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camoflaged faceat the window is mine0 -
GREAT RULES! 0 -
just how old is she?
My younger brother is a good kid, he's 18, a gentleman (if he isn't I kick his butt), likes guns and shoots like and expert marksman, and drives a new G6.
He's starting at Auburn this fall; where our parents are currently employed.0 -
Well I would like to take the time to thank you LF for being a parent instead of just letting the girl run wild. In about 8-10 years she'll be thanking you too. 0 -
I kind of get the feeling that these forums are haunted by single, lonely, and desperate menfolk. Not that your daughter is hard on the eyes, LF, but let's do a reality check; ain't no girl/woman/female here hasn't been hit on in some shape, form, or fashion...
I'm reminded of high school...
... and I HATED high school.0 -
quote:Originally posted by Locust Fork
Alabama climate would be hard....I would like pirahana (spelling?) but I hear a hippo can be pretty agressive. Aligators may entice the idots who think they can to actually wrestle them. Hmmmmmmm what to choose.
I was thinking more like a castle style tower.
Do you know what shipping on a hippo runs? They fright those f-ers by the pound. That, and the State Dept said I couldn't have one. meanies. Anywho, the gator would be easier and cheaper to feed. Plus, you could probaly find one in your neck of the woods. Another bounos is that no human on the planet, no matter how drunk, has looked at a hippo and said, "I can take it."0
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