Ducks
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on .. very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on .. very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
0
-
They say the game tonight is their biggest challenge.
They are up 29-7 against AZ. 36-7 with 12:26 left in the 2nd. Now 43-7 with 11:33 left in the 2nd.0 -
Sure did give me a scare today.
But with the way they fought back we just may have a team this year. Not used to them coming back late.0 -
Dawnie is cranked up about this, and asked me to post the articles.
Interesting.
Park's fowl plight
Milton Babb
The Herald Banner
GREENVILLE -
The ducks and geese at Graham Park in Greenville have been an attraction for so long, they've been largely taken for granted. Unfortunately, so has their welfare.
That's why residents near the park were aghast to find many of the birds killed or injured over the weekend.
Alana Coe lives on Sockwell Boulevard across from Graham Park. She said she was appalled at seeing 10 or more ducks laying dead on the roadway.
"Sunday morning they really started coming out onto a section of the road where the water pools up. At least 10 were run over, and there were five dead right in front of my house," Coe said. "To me that's horrendous."
Coe has three children ages 7, 11 and 14.
"It's hard on the kids to see the ducks dead in the road; they were all in tears," she said.
Apparently, dry conditions and possible dredging work being done by the city caused the birds to flee their regular habitat.
Ironically, the work on the pond was being done in part to secure water for the birds.
"It got almost completely dry. That's why they starting dredging out there," said City of Greenville Parks director John Cobb. "Even when the pond was full, there was so much silt the water was only three feet deep. That's not enough to sustain anything."
But Cobb said there was no city-sponsored program to take care of the ducks.
"They're wild ducks. I'm not aware of any responsibility the city has for the ducks or for squirrels or for any other wildlife," Cobb said. "They can fly, and the city lakes are just across the highway. The only reason they don't move is because people feed them. They make out like bandits at noon at the Dairy Dart. They congregate in that corner."
However, Cobb said his department had relocated some of the ducks in the past.
"We've taken some of the mean ones out and relocated them to Lake Tawakoni after people complained," Cobb said.
Coe adopted one injured duck she found in her yard.
"He just showed up Saturday morning. It had a broken leg, and so I tried to take care of it. He couldn't even quack or anything. So we gave him some bread, crackers and cereal."
She said the duck got well enough to leave on his own, but that his injuries could have been avoided.
"The city should have made some kind of plans when they started working on the pond," Coe said. "The ducks don't know any better. This has been the only life they've known. I don't know what I expected, but they've given so much pleasure to so many people over the years, it is awful to think they were abandoned on a four-lane road. The little fellows didn't know what to do."
City to temporarily relocate ducks
Milton Babb
The Herald Banner
GREENVILLE -
The City of Greenville will temporarily relocate the ducks at Graham Park to a pond in Caddo Mills.
The move comes after the deaths of several of the ducks this past weekend, when the birds fled the dry pond for a temporary pool of water in the roadway.
Observers say at least 10 were run over by passing motorists.
"A man offered to take them and will be rounding them up and then bring at least some of them back in after our dredging work is done and the pond fills back up," said Greenville Animal Control officer Brandon Krodle.
"Hopefully, we'll get enough rain in February, March or April to bring back a more manageable number of them."
The decision to relocate the birds represents a turnaround in policy.
Greenville Parks Director John Cobb said Tuesday the ducks were wild and not the responsibility of the city.
And a Commerce woman who tried to save several of the ducks told the Herald-Banner Tuesday she was prevented from helping the birds by the Greenville police.
"They are hybrids, not wild ducks, but tame ducks that have interbred with others," said Bosie Boswell, who writes a birding column for the Herald-Banner.
"They are similar to domestic muscovy or domestic mallards. And the geese are also clearly domestic with their white feathers and orange bill. A wild bird would go ahead and migrate in the winter. These have clearly become dependent. I'm not sure they could survive in the wild," Boswell said.
Commerce veterinarian Judy Carter was perplexed and frustrated that she was not allowed to help the ducks.
"If the city doesn't have the responsibility or authority over them, then why was I prevented from rescuing them," Carter asked.
"I had a call from a Greenville client who said the ducks were dying," Carter said. "So I loaded up 10 cat carriers on Saturday and also took several tubs of food for them in case we couldn't catch them. We managed to get 10 of the ones in the worse condition. They were just caked down with mud and two had broken wings. That's when the police came up."
Carter said she was forced to release the struggling birds.
"They said I had no authority whatsoever to take those ducks," she said. "I explained we wanted to take them back to the clinic to treat them and then take them to a friend's pond that still had water in it."
Boswell said he went by the park when the city began excavating the pond.
"I wondered then what they were going to do with the ducks, because what they were doing was destroying their habitat."
He said he remembered seeing ducks at the park as far back as 40 years ago.
Carol Taylor, director of the Northeast Texas Genealogy Center at the W.Walworth Harrison Public Library, said it was unknown exactly how long the ducks had been at Graham Park.
"The park itself was created by the company that operated the city's electric street car line beginning in 1911," Taylor said. "They built the pond and the rest of the park as a way to attract riders to the trolley."
She said the maintenance of the park was taken over by the local Lion's Club in 1921.
"One of their members, Joe Stanford, took over the park. It was absolutely gorgeous," she said. "The ducks could have been introduced that early, but for certain they were there by the 1950s when a zoo was maintained at the park."
The earliest documentation found of ducks at the park is in a 1959 Greenville High School annual which shows several of the birds in the background as students lean against a large bridge which once extended over the pond.
Krodle said the duck population seems to go up after Easter, when he surmises pet ducks are released at the park.
"At last count, there were about 70 out there, mostly muscovy ducks, and about seven geese," Krodle said.
"We have an incident about once a month where one is run over. There is a duck crossing sign, but people don't slow down."0 -
Where has this team been Hiding.
42-3 against #6 Cal
Little let down the defense did not score today.[:o)]0 -
The first flight that I've seen heading south, just crossed over my house.
How come the hunting seasons never correspond to when I can see the prey ??
Doug0 -
Here is a story you'll enjoy. Daughter in 4H researched a breed of duck called a Khaki-Cambell. They are prolific egg layers and the eggs are sought out for the size and quality for cooking. She thought this would be a good project, so I found a breeder, in Portales New Mexico. However, he will only ship in lots of 25. She contacted some other kids in poultry projects and we would end up with 6 or 7. They ship as day old chicks, and when they arrived 10 were dead. I contacted the breeder and he shipped another 25. This time, they all arrived healthy and happy. I now have 40 ducklings in an old water trough full of shavings, hopefully folks are showing up tomorrow to get some. they sure are cute, but noisy. 0 -
when do ducks start laying eggs? I have A pair of mallards that are hanging out on my pond. I want to weedwack around it but if they are getting ready to lay eggs I will leave it alone. 0 -
ducks
And all this time I tought hunting ducks was hard with all the bating, decoys, and expenses shuch as training dogs etc...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE2OjvyJmjE&feature=related0
Please sign in to leave a comment.
Comments
8 comments