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For the Women!

hisbigbootygirl
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-
Shirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What
Setting do I use on the washing machine?'

'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'

He yelled back, ' OHIO STATE ! '

And they say blondes are dumb...


A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest
Woman in the world.'


The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'

'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out
Of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I
Mowed the lawn like this?'

'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.


Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor


A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
Wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and
Said that because they had been so good that each one of them could
Have one wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.

Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise
Tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion
30 years younger...

Whoosh...immediately he turned 90!!!

Gotta love that fairy!

my favorite
Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll
Beat him to death.
AMEN

-

Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.



Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy.



Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
Calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.


Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?

A: It helps them remember which end to wipe.


Q: How do you keep your husband from
Reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'
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Comments

19 comments

Date Votes
  • KarenL7777
    Way to go Jen.. love this thread! :) Thank goodness another woman poster!
    0
  • hisbigbootygirl
    yea, there's a few of us. did u catch my "houston's on FIRE" thread?!?!?! search for that one! it's worth it!!! [:D]
    0
  • Rockatansky
    GoodWifesGuide.jpg
    0
  • hisbigbootygirl
    -knows her place..... but disregards it! [:D]
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  • Colt Super
    Thank you, Max.

    Sometimes they need a gentle reminder before divorcing them.

    Doug
    0
  • Old-Colts
    quote:Originally posted by hisbigbootygirl
    A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
    Wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and
    Said that because they had been so good that each one of them could
    Have one wish.

    The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.

    Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise
    Tickets in her hands.

    The man wished for a female companion
    30 years younger...

    Whoosh...immediately he turned 90!!!

    Gotta love that fairy!
    I know what the thread title says, but that's just wrong![:D]
    0
  • Rockatansky
    quote:Originally posted by Doug Wilson
    Thank you, Max.

    Sometimes they need a gentle reminder before divorcing them.

    Doug


    You're welcome. I wouldn't go as far as a divorce, that's quite an extreme measure, but a reminder nonetheless is needed every once in a while. [:p]

    HBBG, I am glad to hear that you don't disregard anything else from that list [:D] you've got one lucky man there then.
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  • Odawgp
    quote:Q: How do you keep your husband from
    Reading your e-mail?

    A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'


    This one does not apply, I read every instruction manual.

    I just wish somone would write one for Women. [:D]
    0
  • select-fire
    http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_167.htm

    http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_206.htm
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  • LOKO383
    quote:Originally posted by hisbigbootygirl
    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-
    Shirt.

    Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What
    Setting do I use on the washing machine?'

    'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'

    He yelled back, ' OHIO STATE ! '

    And they say blondes are dumb...





    HEY...I resemble that remark...[:o)][:D]...GO BUCKS!!!!!!!...Loko
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  • 11echo
    Somebody wake-up on the wrong side of the the bed today, or what?
    0
  • hisbigbootygirl
    not at all. [8D]
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  • PennyPincher
    [:)][:D][8D][;)][:I][:p]
    [:D]
    [:D]
    [:D][:D]



    [:D]
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  • GuvamintCheese
    ATT55.jpg
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  • spanielsells
    quote:Originally posted by cartod
    ATT55.jpg
    Oh my gosh.

    Lysol???????????

    [xx(][xx(][xx(][xx(][xx(]
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  • ReloadCM
    That is just soooooooooooooo wrong!! Lysol???????? Let me kill myself from the inside out!
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  • Jacob2008
    You know guys.. This isnt fair for women.
    BROWNIE POINTS!

    [:D]
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  • hisbigbootygirl
    quote:Originally posted by Jacob2008
    You know guys.. This isnt fair for women.
    BROWNIE POINTS!

    [:D]



    good job jacob! [;)]
    0
  • Colt Super
    Wimp.

    D.
    0

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