Rarely this happens........
MONDs 2500 giveaway........
5 english coins dated..1982/71/66/62/57
These are not in circulation..there are
2 which were the new decimal coin of the 1969+ era (50p & 10p)
3 of the pre-decimal era (pre-69)(2off- 2 shillings& 1off-1 shilling)
you must have 1000 posts & leave a funny..[:D]
All names drawn on my 2500 post, & mailed to you!! easy [:)]
5 english coins dated..1982/71/66/62/57
These are not in circulation..there are
2 which were the new decimal coin of the 1969+ era (50p & 10p)
3 of the pre-decimal era (pre-69)(2off- 2 shillings& 1off-1 shilling)
you must have 1000 posts & leave a funny..[:D]
All names drawn on my 2500 post, & mailed to you!! easy [:)]
0
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Cool mond, please put me in!
My funny:
These two Irishmen walk past this pub.....0 -
Dang it, MT beat me to the first joke I thought of (This Irishman walked out of a pub)
Little Buckwheat
A teacher in a one-room schoolhouse arrives one morning to find a nice red apple on her desk with a tag tied to it saying 'T.O.T".
Knowing that she has some not-so-nice pranksters in her class, she > cautiously asked, "Can someone explain what T.O.T. means?"
Mary, in the front row, raised her hand to explain it means "To Our Teacher."
The next morning the teacher finds a bigger and prettier apple than the
day before. This time there is a tag with T.O.T.W.L. written on it.
She asks for an explanation for this note and little Johnny waves his
hand to explain, "That means "To Our Teacher With Love".
The next morning she arrives to find a great big watermelon sitting on her desk with a tag saying "F.*.*.*."
Her jaw drops, and she screams. "Who can explain this?"
Little Buckwheat in the back row raises his hand and says, that means,
"From Us Colored Kids".
Thanks for your generosity.0 -
also include me MOND?
when a traveling preacher was asked to spend the night back in horse and buggy days, the only place for him to sleep was with the young son.
at bed-time he climbed in bed and then saw the boy kneeling by the bed.
"what a fine example i am he thought, me a preacher and the boy is the one kneeling in prayer."
climbing back out to kneel on his side of the bed, the boy asks, "watcha doin preacher?"
"the same thing you are son."
"boy mom is gonna be mad, the pee box is on my side!"0 -
"May I borrow your record player tonight?" a man asked his neighbor.
"Sure. Do you want to listen to some music?"
"No," he answered. "Tonight I want to have some peace and quiet."0 -
Please throw my name in Mond
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following
characteristics (and I just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........ Twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to
pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and
reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply
accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut
down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times
as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by
a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to
let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed
hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all
over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine OFF.
_________________0 -
Cool giveaway! 0 -
Toss me in please.[8D] 0 -
Cool mond, Im in please. 0 -
Congratulations on your milestone. Here's an oldie but goody.
A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting, and confesses; "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it."
"When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder.
"Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive, that looked like it was going to sail over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway, and then fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards."
"Is that when you swore?" asked Mother Superior.
"No, Mother," says the nun. "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth, and began to run away."
"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Mother Superior again.
"Well, no." says the nun. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"
"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed elder nun.
"No, Mother. Oh no, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball." "Did you swear THEN?" asked Mother Superior.
"Oh no, Mother. My ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green, and stopped about SIX inches from the hole."
The two nuns were silent for a moment.
Then Mother Superior sighed and said, "You missed the f***ing putt, didn't you?"0 -
count me in please 0 -
Throw me in, please, and thanks. 0 -
SWEET, I am in. 0 -
mond they would go great in my money collection that my mother started collecting when they were over seas.
please add me in also.
Mother: "Soooo... you want to become my son-in-law."
Suitor: "No, but I don't see any other way to marry your daughter."
Tazz0 -
Please include me too mond!
Funny ... its actually the name of a thread, but the funniest thing I've heard all day!
"It's official. M16 is out. AK-47 is in."0 -
IM in 0 -
Throw me in the pond, mond.[:D][;)] 0 -
would you add me to thanks 0 -
Plesae toss my name in the hat- and I'll tell the one about the Concorde pilot![:p] 0 -
count me in please
thanks0 -
add my name in please.
A Scotsman leaves a bar one night after having a few too many. As he reels down the walk, he realizes that he must answer nature's call...and soon. So, he goes over to some bushes in a park, lifts his kilt and relieves himself. Feeling much better he staggers over to a tree and sits down with his back against it. It isn't long before the alcohol takes effect and he is soon sleeping soundly. About that time two comely lasses happen along and see the sleeping Scotsman. The two begin discussing whether it is true what's worn 'neath the kilt. Given the insensate state of the Scotsman, they decide to satisfy their curiosity. Gingerly they lift the edge of his kilt and peer beneath. Their curiosity satisfied, they prepare to take their leave. At the last minute, they decide it is unfair to leave without letting the besotted chap know of their visit. One of the lasses takes a ribbon from her hair and ties it 'round the Scotsman's privates. Satisfied with their "calling card" the two lasses depart. Some time later, the Scotsman wakes to once more answer nature's call. On raising his kilt to pee, he notices the blue ribbon left by the two lasses. While doing his business, he comments " Lad, I don't know where you've been; but, I see you took first prize."0 -
Well, I better throw in, then. I see you're at 2498.
Count me in, if you please.
Takes me back to a three-day weekend I spent in Bristol, once. Fun town.
Sorry. I forgot the joke.
OK, here it is.
A Priest, a Rabbi and a camel walk into a bar.
Bartender sez,
"What is this, some kind of a joke?"
quote:Originally posted by mond
MONDs 2500 giveaway........
5 english coins dated..1982/71/66/62/57
These are not in circulation..there are
2 which were the new decimal coin of the 1969+ era (50p & 10p)
3 of the pre-decimal era (pre-69)(2off- 2 shillings& 1off-1 shilling)
you must have 1000 posts & leave a funny..[:D]
All names drawn on my 2500 post, & mailed to you!! easy [:)]0 -
Please include me and here's something funny! 0 -
I can't ask to be in the drawing for the coins, because I wouldn't have a clue what to do with them! but here's my favorite english joke. sorry mond, you're going to hate it... [:)]
The Pope and the Queen of England are on the same stage at an Anglican and Catholic commemoration of the Anglo-Irish accords. The crowd is huge - thousands. Her Majesty and His Holiness, can't help but have a little rivalry, both being heads of churches and all.
The Queen says to the Pope, "Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every English person in the crowd go wild?"
He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the royal-gloved wave elicits rapture and cheering from every Englishman in the crowd. Gradually the cheering subsides.
The Pope, not wanting to be outdone by someone wearing a worse frock and hat than he, considers what he could do. So the Pope says to the Queen, "Your Majesty, that was impressive. But did you know that with one little wave of MY hand I can make every Irish person in the crowd go crazy with joy? Their joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will speak forever of this day and rejoice. They will recount it to their grandchildren and they to their descendants,"
The Queen seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of your hand and all Irish people will rejoice forever? Show me."
So he slaps her.0 -
count me in please and thank you 0 -
Include me please,
I love free money.0 -
I'd like a chance please. 0 -
Cool Givaway!
Sorry I don't have a joke, except well, could you talk to the Queen for me about trading me Jersey and Guernsey in exchange for these beautiful beads.0 -
Cool give away!!
I'm in!!
Thanks.........0 -
Since so many are ignoring your request for humor, I'll throw in another one.
Bubba and his pal were driving home from a cross burning, running without lights to avoid being noticed. A 12 point buck deer jumped out in front of them, Bubba lost control of the car and wrecked. The passenger died instantly and a few minutes later, Bubba died, too.
Bubba got to the Pearly Gates just in time to see his buddy headed down to hell. He hollered, "What happened?" His pal yelled back, "It turns out God is black, and boy is she pissed off.0 -
thanks for the jokes guys, some winners there..
keep a laughing & smiling...[:D]
Wizard 78....your numbers in!![;)]0
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