Southern Rules
The 'Rules of the South' are as follows!!!
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
3. We drive a pickup truck because we want to. Let's get this straight; it's
called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get
dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell to you. They smell like money to
us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 goes east and west, I-65 goes north and
south. Pick one.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton
strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. So every person in the south waves. It's called being friendly. Try to
understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, We WILL
shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear
at the time.
8. Yeah, we eat catfish &; crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's
available at the corner bait shop.
9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of
age.
11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order a steak or you
can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
12. When we fill up a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables,
and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah.... We
don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T
REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over
ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to
shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and
the Knicks and a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks
the fish.
16. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities,
Universities, and Vo-techs. We come outta there with an education plus a
love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come
for the holidays.
17. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines so don't
mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.
18. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music,
anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers!
Refer back to #1!
[:D]
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
3. We drive a pickup truck because we want to. Let's get this straight; it's
called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get
dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell to you. They smell like money to
us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 goes east and west, I-65 goes north and
south. Pick one.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton
strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. So every person in the south waves. It's called being friendly. Try to
understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, We WILL
shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear
at the time.
8. Yeah, we eat catfish &; crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's
available at the corner bait shop.
9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of
age.
11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order a steak or you
can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
12. When we fill up a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables,
and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah.... We
don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T
REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over
ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to
shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and
the Knicks and a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks
the fish.
16. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities,
Universities, and Vo-techs. We come outta there with an education plus a
love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come
for the holidays.
17. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines so don't
mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.
18. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music,
anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers!
Refer back to #1!
[:D]
0
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Right there with ya zipperzap...[:D] 0 -
18-fold Amen!!! 0 -
19. Don't be offended if someone says "You ain't from around here, are ya?" 0 -
it's been said that if you got problems with a southern gentleman, he'll be a gentleman right up until he shoots you. 0 -
[8D]-In Susanville, Northern California, everybody waves to you wheather you're new, or not--
--It's a heavy prison town--
--[:)][:)]--JIMBO0 -
when you go in a store/resturant/ your called honey, sweety, or suger 0 -
VERY GOOD POST[^][^][^][^][^] 0 -
Southern by the grace of God![^] 0 -
I can relate,we flew our company plane into Calyton Carolina for a bussiness trip.When I got off the plane the greeter for the airport walked up to me and shook my hand. He was thinking (me being the oldest)to be the man. He simply asked me if I lived near Plattsburg NY, I replied that it was four hours north from my house, but my son went to college there.That was enough, he lent me his personal car (no charge) new Cadillac convertable with onboard phone.
The owner of my corp just couldnt believe that this really happened.
"If that isnt sourthern hospitality you can throw me out"0 -
RIGHT ON I AGREE 100% AND IM FROM WIS, 0 -
quote:Originally posted by needmyguns
RIGHT ON I AGREE 100% AND IM FROM WIS,0 -
Zip,
you'd be surprised how many of us in sububia or urbanland agree with you. The idots are in it for the attention and there are just enough idots around.
Stan0 -
Can we rent billboards all over the country with that on it? 0 -
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
but change your diaper first0 -
quote:Originally posted by chollagardens
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
but change your diaper first
There are 2 extremes to this one. Some southerners wear their wranglers so tight it has to be cutting off circulation, downright painful looking.0
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