bear hunting
A Canadian game Officer driving down a country road saw a man with a large bear on the side of the road.
"That's a big bear you've got there," said the warden.
"Yeah, he's a real beauty," the hunter replied.
"It just so happens you shot the bear out of season, I'll have to give you a $300.00 fine and confiscate the bear."
Next year in the same place, the hunter shoots another bear. The same game warden approaches him and says, "That's a beautiful bear you have."
"Yes, and this year it's during bear game season," the hunter said proudly.
"Let me see your license."
"LICENSE??!!"
"That will cost you $300.00 and I'll have to take the bear," the warden said.
The third season, the same situation takes place. The warden approached the hunter and said, "Well, that's a beautiful bear you have there."
"Yes, and I have a hunting license, and it's the bear hunting season," said the hunter.
"Yes, you seem to be legal. Tell me, how many times did you shoot the bear?" asked the warden.
"One time."
"Then how come he has a hole in his forehead and one in each paw??"
"Well, when I put the spot light in his face he covered his eyes with both hands!......"
"That's a big bear you've got there," said the warden.
"Yeah, he's a real beauty," the hunter replied.
"It just so happens you shot the bear out of season, I'll have to give you a $300.00 fine and confiscate the bear."
Next year in the same place, the hunter shoots another bear. The same game warden approaches him and says, "That's a beautiful bear you have."
"Yes, and this year it's during bear game season," the hunter said proudly.
"Let me see your license."
"LICENSE??!!"
"That will cost you $300.00 and I'll have to take the bear," the warden said.
The third season, the same situation takes place. The warden approached the hunter and said, "Well, that's a beautiful bear you have there."
"Yes, and I have a hunting license, and it's the bear hunting season," said the hunter.
"Yes, you seem to be legal. Tell me, how many times did you shoot the bear?" asked the warden.
"One time."
"Then how come he has a hole in his forehead and one in each paw??"
"Well, when I put the spot light in his face he covered his eyes with both hands!......"
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On a tour of Alaska, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the
mountains for some sight seeing. He was cruising along the campground in
the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of
the woods. A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the
Whales" T-shirt, and a tree hugger hat was struggling frantically,
thrashing around, trying to free himself from the jaws of a 10 foot
grizzly.
As the Pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came
racing up. One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear's chest. The
other two reached up and pulled the bleeding semiconscious Democrat from
the bear's jaws. Then using long clubs, the three loggers beat the bear
to death and hauled it to their truck.
Immediately the Pope summoned them over. "I give you my blessing for
your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred
between loggers and environmental activists, but now I've seen with my
own eyes that that is not true."
As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies, "Who was
that?"
"It was the Pope," another replied. "He's in direct contact with God
and has access to all God's wisdom."
"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all God's wisdom, but
he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting. By the way, is the
bait holding up okay or do we need to go back to town and grab another
one?"
NRA ENdowment, CRPA Life, Past President NRA Members Council
Quod principi placuit legis habet vigorem. Semper Fidelis
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Has anyone hunted black bear? This is my 3rd. year doing it and
have yet to see any.All I do is get alot of walking in.If you do what rifle do you use or would you use.
0341USMC
0341USMC
SEMPER FI
Christian
American
heterosexual
PRO GUN
conservative
Any Questions?0 -
A guy was telling his friend about his recent hunting trip to Alaska.
"We were out in the woods all morning and our guide decided that we should take a break along the river bank.
I wasn't feeling tired so I went for a stroll while the others were resting.
As I was walking, a grizzly bear burst out of the undergrowth in front of me. I turned and started running like hell through the woods with the bear after me. The bear almost caught up with me but slipped and fell down.
I kept running and the bear almost caught up with me again twice, but slipped and fell each time. I finally reached the river bank. The guide saw the bear chasing me and shot it dead."
"Wow!" replied his friend, "That's incredible. If I were you, I would have crapped myself."
The first guy answered, "What do you think the bear was slipping on?"
Ageless cosmic rocker!0 -
The 2nd heaviest bear on record in NC was taken this week.
A guy from VA shot a 782 pound Black Bear in Hyde county NC. That is a big Black Bear anywhere especially in NC.
Story:
http://www.witn.com/home/headlines/BIG-BEAR--782-pound-bear--282447091.html0 -
guy went hunting and shot a fair sized black bear.
as he bent to dress it he felt a tap on his shoulder and a six foot brown bear looks him in the eye and says,"you have two choices. one, i can maul and eat you. or two, we have sex."
guy figures he can take it, at least he will be alive.
a few weeks later, when he gets out of the hospital and recovers, he tracks down and shoots the brown bear.
as he stands there feeling satisfied with his revenge, he feels another tap on the shoulder, turns and sees an eight foot grizzly.
"now tell me the truth", the bear says, "you arent really comeing here for the hunting are you?"0 -
[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D] 0
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