You might be a liberal if ...
You might be a liberal if ...
1. you've ever left your sociology class thinking, "That professor really knows what he/she/it is talking about."
2. you associate the words "model American" with "Bill Clinton"
3. you think Dan Rather represents media impartiality
4. your response to anything Rush Limbaugh says is, "Well, he's fat."
5. the first word in the description of your hair color is "neon"
6. you've ever tried to protect the ozone layer
7. you've stood for animal rights, but wear leather belts and sandals
8. you've ever given a dollar to a bum so he can buy more liquor ...ummm ... food
9. you ever use the words "Clarence Thomas" and "Uncle Tom" in the same sentence
10. you are a vegan
11. you have a bumper sticker that says "You Can't Hug With Nuclear Arms" on your car
12. you believe diversity represents the extinction of the white race
13. you've ever walked around carrying one of those Javahhh mugs
14. you pay a 185 percent markup for organically grown food
15. you cheered for "Obstructing Justice Simpson" last Tuesday at 1 p.m.
16. you don't think it's right to kill rapists and murderers, but do think it's right to kill babies
17. you have anything to do with the Compassionate Living Fair
18. you want more funding for AIDS research but less for cancer, despite the fact that cancer kills many more people per year
19. you have the entire menu at Cup-A-Joe memorized
20. you consider yourself open-minded but refuse to listen to anything Jesse Helms has to say
21. you abhor censorship unless it's censoring race, religion, Conservatism, Western culture or Rush Limbaugh
22. you found yourself unemployed after this past November's election
23. you're a dope smoker or a womanizer ... oh, sorry, that's "You might be a Clinton cabinet official if ..."
24. you're the dolt who stole the "Helms '96" bumper sticker from my car
25. you think the phrase, "... separation of church and state" is in the Constitution
26. you cry, "You can't legislate morality," but defend the Roe v. Wade decision in order to legalize your moral position on abortion
27. you stay informed by watching MTV News
28. you have an "I'm Straight But Not Narrow" button pinned to your book bag
29. there is a ring in any part of your head other than your ears
30. you think religion is bad for school kids to learn, but think condom giveaways are just what schools need
31. you molest campaign workers, then lie about it on national television . . . oops, my mistake again, that's "You might be Mel Reynolds if . . ."
32. you think Jesse Jackson is a good spokesman for the black community
33. you think Jesse Jackson is good at anything
34. you lie in bed at night worried that Pat Robertson might be out to get you
35. you attribute the rising illegitimacy rate, crime rate or problems in the inner city to Ronald Reagan
36. you've ever held up a grocery store line trying to pick between plastic, which isn't biodegradable, or paper, which cuts down innocent trees
37. you think the National Organization for Women is made up of average heterosexual women with no lesbian agenda
38. you're on the committee to construct the Gay Jewish Women's Cultural Center -- there's a slight chance you're a liberal
39. you blame Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but not the spend-happy "Democrooks" for the huge national debt
40. banning assault weapons is your solution to end crime (what do you mean punish the criminals?)
41 you tell me how to live by telling me I can't tell people how to live
And finally ...you think Ted Kennedy is sober and monogamous.
1. you've ever left your sociology class thinking, "That professor really knows what he/she/it is talking about."
2. you associate the words "model American" with "Bill Clinton"
3. you think Dan Rather represents media impartiality
4. your response to anything Rush Limbaugh says is, "Well, he's fat."
5. the first word in the description of your hair color is "neon"
6. you've ever tried to protect the ozone layer
7. you've stood for animal rights, but wear leather belts and sandals
8. you've ever given a dollar to a bum so he can buy more liquor ...ummm ... food
9. you ever use the words "Clarence Thomas" and "Uncle Tom" in the same sentence
10. you are a vegan
11. you have a bumper sticker that says "You Can't Hug With Nuclear Arms" on your car
12. you believe diversity represents the extinction of the white race
13. you've ever walked around carrying one of those Javahhh mugs
14. you pay a 185 percent markup for organically grown food
15. you cheered for "Obstructing Justice Simpson" last Tuesday at 1 p.m.
16. you don't think it's right to kill rapists and murderers, but do think it's right to kill babies
17. you have anything to do with the Compassionate Living Fair
18. you want more funding for AIDS research but less for cancer, despite the fact that cancer kills many more people per year
19. you have the entire menu at Cup-A-Joe memorized
20. you consider yourself open-minded but refuse to listen to anything Jesse Helms has to say
21. you abhor censorship unless it's censoring race, religion, Conservatism, Western culture or Rush Limbaugh
22. you found yourself unemployed after this past November's election
23. you're a dope smoker or a womanizer ... oh, sorry, that's "You might be a Clinton cabinet official if ..."
24. you're the dolt who stole the "Helms '96" bumper sticker from my car
25. you think the phrase, "... separation of church and state" is in the Constitution
26. you cry, "You can't legislate morality," but defend the Roe v. Wade decision in order to legalize your moral position on abortion
27. you stay informed by watching MTV News
28. you have an "I'm Straight But Not Narrow" button pinned to your book bag
29. there is a ring in any part of your head other than your ears
30. you think religion is bad for school kids to learn, but think condom giveaways are just what schools need
31. you molest campaign workers, then lie about it on national television . . . oops, my mistake again, that's "You might be Mel Reynolds if . . ."
32. you think Jesse Jackson is a good spokesman for the black community
33. you think Jesse Jackson is good at anything
34. you lie in bed at night worried that Pat Robertson might be out to get you
35. you attribute the rising illegitimacy rate, crime rate or problems in the inner city to Ronald Reagan
36. you've ever held up a grocery store line trying to pick between plastic, which isn't biodegradable, or paper, which cuts down innocent trees
37. you think the National Organization for Women is made up of average heterosexual women with no lesbian agenda
38. you're on the committee to construct the Gay Jewish Women's Cultural Center -- there's a slight chance you're a liberal
39. you blame Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but not the spend-happy "Democrooks" for the huge national debt
40. banning assault weapons is your solution to end crime (what do you mean punish the criminals?)
41 you tell me how to live by telling me I can't tell people how to live
And finally ...you think Ted Kennedy is sober and monogamous.
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...if you go to "sensitivity" classes, then leave to go vote yes on
the euthanization bill for people over 60...[;)]
...if you think any problem, can be talked to a resolution, without having to fight...[^]
...if you look like pear-headed Allan Colmbs...[^]
...if you get chicken skin and scream at the sight of a gun...[^]
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quote:Originally posted by git_r_done
You might be a liberal if ...0 -
Plastic bags may not biodegrade, but they do burn rather nicely. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by Zulu7
Plastic bags may not biodegrade, but they do burn rather nicely.
Aw man, don't let Al Gore here you say that!
You know global warming and all![;)]0 -
[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]
Damn I hate liberals0 -
quote:Originally posted by 7.62x39
[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]
Damn I hate liberals
I hate my ex too.0 -
quote:Originally posted by git_r_done
You might be a liberal if ...
[:D][:D][:D]0 -
Always knew Art Bell was funny. 0 -
8. you've ever given a dollar to a bum so he can buy more liquor ...ummm ... food
I just give them beer.0
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