Who's the biggest B.S.er
You've ever had the pleasure to meet? I hope I can tell this little story and put the full flavor out without being too wordy.
I have a "watering hole" that I occasionly visit. I first encountered this gentleman, that I will refer to as
"Bob", at stated watering hole. He was a large man of fiftyish with a considerable verbal capacity. He introduced himself as a rare car collector, having a substantial collection of valuable autos. Before the second beer was brought, he then informed me that he was having a "few" problems, including the fact that he was without funds and, as time passed, he was a "black ops. operative", a retired CIA emplyee, marital arts expert and other variations of secret stuff. He informed me that, "if I wanted someone done away with," he
was the man. Bob has since disappeared some months ago (maybe to carry on in secret).[V]
I have friend, Larry, who has been with me during several encounters with Bob. We both take great pleasure in rehashing Bob's converstations, and to this day, are amazed that anyone possesses the that capacity to spread the $nit like he could.
Without using a tremendous amount of imagination, it occurs to me that there are, most likely, "watering holes" and "Bobs" within reach of us all.[:D]
I have a "watering hole" that I occasionly visit. I first encountered this gentleman, that I will refer to as
"Bob", at stated watering hole. He was a large man of fiftyish with a considerable verbal capacity. He introduced himself as a rare car collector, having a substantial collection of valuable autos. Before the second beer was brought, he then informed me that he was having a "few" problems, including the fact that he was without funds and, as time passed, he was a "black ops. operative", a retired CIA emplyee, marital arts expert and other variations of secret stuff. He informed me that, "if I wanted someone done away with," he
was the man. Bob has since disappeared some months ago (maybe to carry on in secret).[V]
I have friend, Larry, who has been with me during several encounters with Bob. We both take great pleasure in rehashing Bob's converstations, and to this day, are amazed that anyone possesses the that capacity to spread the $nit like he could.
Without using a tremendous amount of imagination, it occurs to me that there are, most likely, "watering holes" and "Bobs" within reach of us all.[:D]
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quote:Originally posted by Flyin_Paulie
"Bob", at stated watering hole. He was a large man of fiftyish with a considerable verbal capacity. He was a "black ops. operative", a retired CIA emplyee, marital arts expert and other variations of secret stuff. He informed me that, "if I wanted someone done away with," he
was the man. Bob has since disappeared some months ago (maybe to carry on in secret).
i see you have met my uncle bob, now that you know his true identity i am afraid I must kill you to keep him safe. he has been moved to a safehouse and is waiting until we notify him that all who know his identity are gone. we will not allow him back in the bars again as once he has a few beers in him he talks too much.0 -
atr least three bobs work for me[xx(] 0 -
His name is not really Bob..... its James..... James Bond. 0 -
Wasn't "Bob" Noriega's code name ??
Doug0 -
My dad has a friend he grew up with he calls Kingfish. All my life he would tell crazy stories. I think he truly thought they were true. I always wondered; when someone lies compulsively like that, do they know they are doing it? 0 -
Last roommate was named Kim. She claimed to have over 55 years of work experance (a lot of it in managment type positions), plus 6 years of college, plus a 5 year sabatical where she took care of her dying mother. Not bad for only being 41 years old, is it?
She went through something over 6 minimum wage jobs in the 9 months she was there.
Not only was she a compulsive liar, she believed all her own stories. It's to bad her bosses didn't see that she knew more about running their busnesses (after 2 weeks) than the boss did after 20 years0 -
Easy...my ex.
If he told me what my name was, I would take out my ID to check.0 -
I've ran into a few of those in my life time. Real ignorant people. Never could figure out why they told such stories. I just move away from them, because they have problems. 0 -
My MIL's new husband. We're relitively sure his claim of bein career army is true. He got lots of pics and plaques. But he claims he was "black Opps" in Viet Nam. And along w/this claim comes this whopper that he tells EVERYONE. After asking them not to tell anyone else.
He claims in Viet Nam that an American Colonel got captured and sent to the Hanoi Hilton. This Colonel knew too much and could not be allowed to be broken. So he was sent to assassinate him.
Not only did he sneaking into Hanoi. But into the Hilton as well where he killed the Colonel AND GOT BACK OUT. Me think's this guy has watched too many Chuck Norris movies.
He also claims to have been former OTR trucker. Yet he can't back a 5th wheel camper.0 -
At my buddy's wedding in Texas I met his wife's friend's boyfriend. He was all muscled up and by 10 minutes after I met him he told me how he was a Navy SEAL and did all sorts of dangerous stuff and worked with the CIA a lot. His girlfriend told me he had all sorts of "missions" where he had to be gone for a couple weeks at a time. The kicker, though, was he told the wife's father all of this and the wife's father paid him $8,000 to install a security system. What a surprise that the CIA called him up for a mission right after the father gave him a check and nobody ever saw him again.
That's good, but even better is a woman my wife knows who met an "executive" out at a bar. He was handsome and charming and had this huge business. They start dating, and he drops the bomb. He's married, but they're in the process of getting a divorce. But, all that will be wrapped up soon and they can be together. Oh, but she can't ever visit or call his house or his cell phone, because the wife would find out. And he can't buy her gifts and such, because the wife would see the bills. And because of business he'll often need to be away for long periods of time. This woman swallows it all, hook, line, and sinker, and even has A KID with the guy and then GETS PREGNANT A SECOND TIME.
Five months pregnant with the second child and finally starting to listen to her friends, she follows him home one night. He drives home to an apartment in a dumpy part of town. She waits outside all night and then follows him to work. He works as a waiter in a TGIFridays.0 -
I think your "Bob" might be my brother-in-law. Actually, folks that cannot stay close to the truth are usually very insecure. They are dying for attention and accolades. Most, at least my BIL, never get over it. 0 -
We hired a kid like this once. Claims to have killed a coyote at 25 yards with throwing knives.
This is how I finally got him to shut up one day.
ME: "I've heard that, to bond with your child, you should take off your shirt, take off your child's shirt and cuddle, skin-to-skin. So I'm going home right now to do that with my daughter"
HE: "How old is your daughter?"
ME: "She just turned seventeen."
He just stood, slack-jawed and glassy-eyed as I turned and left.0 -
There are three kinds of BS-er that I've noticed:
1: the type mostly being discussed here, who tell impossibly tall tales to make themselves look impressive. I find them annoying but harmless.
2: the weasels who lie (and often cheat) to get what they want and cover their butts. These are best avoided or fired.
3: those who like a good yarn and are willing to stretch or fabricate the truth for the sake of the story. My uncle is one of these. He has had some pretty fantastic experiences but I'm never sure where fact ends and yarn begins if he's telling a story. These are harmless and fun to be around.0 -
Former Brother in law.
Jeff Gettleman.
Knew/knows everything. Better at ANYTHING than ANYONE.
So full of crap no one ever believed him about anything, except my young gullible sister.
He wins. case closed.0 -
quote:Originally posted by Fatstrat
My MIL's new husband. We're relitively sure his claim of bein career army is true. He got lots of pics and plaques. But he claims he was "black Opps" in Viet Nam. And along w/this claim comes this whopper that he tells EVERYONE. After asking them not to tell anyone else.
He claims in Viet Nam that an American Colonel got captured and sent to the Hanoi Hilton. This Colonel knew too much and could not be allowed to be broken. So he was sent to assassinate him.
Not only did he sneaking into Hanoi. But into the Hilton as well where he killed the Colonel AND GOT BACK OUT. Me think's this guy has watched too many Chuck Norris movies.
He also claims to have been former OTR trucker. Yet he can't back a 5th wheel camper.
Story sounds vaguely familiar!! Olympic skeet shooter, olympic archer,Back ground singer with Tony Orlando, and former pro baseball player too?
Jeff Gettleman?0 -
we got a bob at our range, he has been cia, fbi, currently was asked to come out of retirement to work for home land security due to his special skills, he is a deadly bulls eye shooter, but he also has another side effect "he is a jerk" big time
it is almost an insult to your intelligence when you hear this type of babble, i have known another guy for about 25 years, he takes the cake for anyone that i have met personally, he will tell a lie where the truth will fit better, one of his best ones he told his own cousin
"the bank called and he had to much money so he had to hire 2 armored cars to move it to other banks", shows his ignorance in more ways than one, great hearted person other than that
one hand you want to b!tch slap him, the other hand not hurting dumb animals come to mind0 -
I can't stand a lying weasel but I love a good BSer.Its not hard to tell the diffrence. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by mlincoln
At my buddy's wedding in Texas I met his wife's friend's boyfriend. He was all muscled up and by 10 minutes after I met him he told me how he was a Navy SEAL and did all sorts of dangerous stuff and worked with the CIA a lot. His girlfriend told me he had all sorts of "missions" where he had to be gone for a couple weeks at a time. The kicker, though, was he told the wife's father all of this and the wife's father paid him $8,000 to install a security system. What a surprise that the CIA called him up for a mission right after the father gave him a check and nobody ever saw him again.
That's good, but even better is a woman my wife knows who met an "executive" out at a bar. He was handsome and charming and had this huge business. They start dating, and he drops the bomb. He's married, but they're in the process of getting a divorce. But, all that will be wrapped up soon and they can be together. Oh, but she can't ever visit or call his house or his cell phone, because the wife would find out. And he can't buy her gifts and such, because the wife would see the bills. And because of business he'll often need to be away for long periods of time. This woman swallows it all, hook, line, and sinker, and even has A KID with the guy and then GETS PREGNANT A SECOND TIME.
Five months pregnant with the second child and finally starting to listen to her friends, she follows him home one night. He drives home to an apartment in a dumpy part of town. She waits outside all night and then follows him to work. He works as a waiter in a TGIFridays.
Couldn't she tell, by all the PINS on his "candy-cane-striped"SUSPENDERS??[:o)]
Jeff0 -
don't they just stand out a mile..'Billy Bu!! ch1t'..the guy who's see, done & just cannot help himself!!
or also known as 'Billy no-mates' !! [:D][xx(]0 -
I have a friend who actually DOES work for the CIA. If someone in a bar asks him what he does for a living, he would say "I sell Revereware- ya need any pots or pans?" and the career discussion drops like a rock! For all the folks that were secretly military assassins- I don't remember seeing them at the potluck dinner.....[:p] 0 -
we have a gent like this at our coffee klatch & one day i told him he was windier than a wagon load of dudes & if he would hang a sheet on his cycle he could talk himself across the kansas prairie faster than an 18 wheeler on I-70....never slowed him a bit.... reminded me of red green's best friend.......gotta top him someday 0 -
Many moons ago (c. 1978) I met up with a pathological liar.
She told me that Bob Kevoyan of Bob & Tom had come to her apartment to party.
I had no clue who Bob K. was other than being a DJ from Indy, so my response to her was, "That's cool." I really did believe her until she got all upset about it. She started saying, "No, he really did!" and so forth. I guess I just wasn't impressed enough or something.
I had a cousin who was a quite the BS'er. One of the craziest stories he ever told turned out to be true, or at least got published as true in a newspaper - he killed a bear with a diver's spear gun.
The last anyone ever heard of him, he was in Alaska working on the Exxon Valdez clean up. He never collected his last pay check from them. He is presumed dead.0 -
Sounds like there are alot of "Bobs". What happened to them as children to make them this such blow-hards? surely their is someone that can enlighten us. Just a lack of attention? 0 -
Worked with one that no matter what anyone did he one upped them. We started a pool at the lunch table for anyone with a story he could not one up. We made up some of the wildest tales you can imagine. Falling out of a plane without a chute and not a scratch....etc. He had a topper to all of them. I even gave a story to a female friend about the 300 straight hours of labor with her first child.....he had a better/longer one. We couldn't hold a straight face telling most of our craziest stories and laughed like he77 during his stories, but he could not help himself, had to one up EVERY story. I was impressed, running down bears and killing them with sticks and all.... 0 -
I have been known to subtly enhance some details when relating an anecdote, but the essential elements are true.
Doing that makes the recollecting more enjoyable for me.
Doug0 -
I was once stationed with a man who was undoubtably the King of Oneupmanship. Whenever someone would relate a story involving some sort of moderate to great skill, notable achievement, or prowess of most any sort, this man would inevitably follow up with a similar story, always better yet, while deflecting any compliments of praise or wonder as being insignificant - this, in always a most tactful manner. The subject could be marksmanship, athletics, fast cars, or women, it made no difference, his story was always the best of the bunch.
The fellow was known to be the biggest BS'er around, and calling on him to prove any one story that he had told was difficult for a great many reasons. He appeared to be that cagey with all of his claims, along with his ability to beg off of any challenges with reasonable and persuasive comments, until the subject of "horseshoes" came up.
It seems that among the men in our numbers, a few were outstanding competitors in the game of Horseshoes, and these guys plotted to set the little fellow up one morning by discussing their accomplishments regarding this game. The little man took the bait and oneupped their stories by relating his Base, Regional and State Chmpionships that he had owned, or still owned to his knowledge, in the subject game. As soon as he related his latest story of what had to be supreme BS, he had been called out by several men to prove it at lunch. This took the little fellow aback somewhat, and when it was apparent that it would be impossible to weasel out, he reluctantly agreed to take on all challengers.
Lunchtime finally arrived and much of the command turned out to see the guy bite the dust as a confirmed BSer. Halfway through the lunch hour competition, the litte fellow had beaten the best of the bunch in his same shy, tactful self. Finally, he won the crowd over when he took on the best of the bunch in doubles, by taking on novices as his partners. When the games were about to end without him losing a singles' match, he tossed the last few ringers with his left hand. [:D]0 -
While hunting in Texas earlier this year,I saw a flea so big it had 2 dogs on it. No fooey! 0 -
I didn't say fooey,dammit! 0
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