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Wednesday funny

dpmule
Oscar Weil and Benjamin Oppenheimer are Jews, and were sitting in a
Chinese restaurant in Shanghai.

"Oscar," asked Benjie, "Are there any Jews in China?"[?]
"I don't know," Oscar replied.

"Why don't we ask the waiter?"

When the waiter came by, Benjie asked him, "Are there any Chinese
Jews here in Shanghai?"

"I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into
the kitchen.

He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Chinese Jews."
"Are you sure?" Benjie asked.[:0]

"I will check again, sir" the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.

While he was still gone, Oscar said, "I cannot believe there are no
Jews in China, our people are scattered everywhere."

When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews."[:(]

"Are you really sure?" Benjie asked again. "I cannot believe there
are no Chinese Jews."

"Sir, I asked everyone," the waiter replied exasperated.
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"We have
orange Jews, apple Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of
Chinese Jews! If you want, we have Chinese Tea[:D][:D]
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Comments

5 comments

Date Votes
  • dpmule
    The Irish Millionaire

    Mick, from Dublin, appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A
    Millionaire' and
    towards the end of the program had already won ?500,000.

    'You've done very well so far,' said, Chris Tarrant, the
    show's presenter, 'but for a million pounds you've only got one
    life-line left - phone a friend. Everything is riding on this
    question......will you go for it?' 'Sure,' said Mick,' I'll have a go!'

    Which of the following birds does not build its own
    nest?

    a) Sparrow, b) Thrush, c) Magpie, d) Cuckoo?'

    'I haven't got a clue,' said Mick,'' so I'll use me last
    lifeline and
    phone me friend Paddy back home in Dublin .'

    Mick called up his mate, and told him the circumstances
    and repeated
    the question to him.

    Fookin hell, Mick!' cried Paddy. 'Dat's
    simple......it's a cuckoo.'
    Are you sure?'

    'I'm fookin sure.'

    Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, 'I'll go wit
    Cuckoo as me
    answer.'

    'Is that your final answer?' asked Chris

    'Dat it is, Sir.'


    There was a long - long pause, and then the presenter
    screamed,


    'Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mick, you've won 1
    million pounds!'
    The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to
    buy him a drink.'

    Tell me, Paddy? How in Heaven's name did you know it was
    da Cuckoo
    that doesn't build its own nest?'

    'Because he lives in a Fookin clock!'
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  • dpmule
    A U.S. Marine squad was patrolling north of Fallujah when they came
    upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite
    side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious
    state.

    The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both
    men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.

    The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the
    highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw
    each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road.

    I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable lowlife."

    He yelled back, "Ted Kennedy is a good-for-nothing, fat, left-wing
    liberal drunk."

    So I said, "Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid, ugly,
    mean-spirited lesbian!"

    He retaliated by yelling, "Oh yeah? Well, so does Hillary Clinton."

    "And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a
    truck hit us."
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  • jwb267
    i like that !!!!!!
    0
  • Odawgp
    [8D]
    0
  • select-fire
    Then the Marine stuck him with his K-Bar.. I love a happy ending..[:D][:D]
    0

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