The Golden Screw
Once upon a time, a young lad was born without a belly button; in its
place was a golden screw. All the doctors told his mother that there was
nothing they could do.
The boy never understood why it was there, but like it or not, he was
stuck with it. All the years of growing up were real tough on him, because
all who saw the screw made fun of him. He avoided ever leaving his house and
thus, never made any friends.
One day, a mysterious stranger saw his belly and told him of a Swami
in Tibet who could get rid of the screw for him. He was thrilled. The next
day he took all of his life's savings and bought a ticket to Nepal.
After several days of climbing up steep cliffs, he came upon a giant
Monastery. The Swami knew exactly why he had come. He was told to sleep in
the highest tower of the Monastery and the following day, when he awoke, the
screw would have been removed.
The man immediately went to the room and fell asleep. During the
night, while he slept, a purple haze floated in an open window bearing, in
its mist, a golden screwdriver. In just a few moments, the screwdriver
removed the screw and then disappeared out of the window.
The next morning, when the boy awoke, he saw the golden screw lying
on the pillow next to him. Reaching down, he felt his navel, and found that
there was no screw there! Jubilant, he leaped out of bed, and his butt fell
off.
The moral of this story is: Don't screw around with things you don't
understand - you could lose your ass.
AND...The POLITE Way To Go To The Bathroom....
During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good
manners, asked her students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,
how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Peter, how would you say it?"
Peter said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom.
I'll be right back."
The teacher responded by saying, "That's better, but it's still not
very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you,
little Alan, can you use your brain for once and show us your good
manners"
"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have
to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll
get to meet after dinner."
The teacher fainted.
place was a golden screw. All the doctors told his mother that there was
nothing they could do.
The boy never understood why it was there, but like it or not, he was
stuck with it. All the years of growing up were real tough on him, because
all who saw the screw made fun of him. He avoided ever leaving his house and
thus, never made any friends.
One day, a mysterious stranger saw his belly and told him of a Swami
in Tibet who could get rid of the screw for him. He was thrilled. The next
day he took all of his life's savings and bought a ticket to Nepal.
After several days of climbing up steep cliffs, he came upon a giant
Monastery. The Swami knew exactly why he had come. He was told to sleep in
the highest tower of the Monastery and the following day, when he awoke, the
screw would have been removed.
The man immediately went to the room and fell asleep. During the
night, while he slept, a purple haze floated in an open window bearing, in
its mist, a golden screwdriver. In just a few moments, the screwdriver
removed the screw and then disappeared out of the window.
The next morning, when the boy awoke, he saw the golden screw lying
on the pillow next to him. Reaching down, he felt his navel, and found that
there was no screw there! Jubilant, he leaped out of bed, and his butt fell
off.
The moral of this story is: Don't screw around with things you don't
understand - you could lose your ass.
AND...The POLITE Way To Go To The Bathroom....
During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good
manners, asked her students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,
how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Peter, how would you say it?"
Peter said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom.
I'll be right back."
The teacher responded by saying, "That's better, but it's still not
very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you,
little Alan, can you use your brain for once and show us your good
manners"
"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have
to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll
get to meet after dinner."
The teacher fainted.
0
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Once upon a time, a young lad was born without a belly button. In its place was a golden screw. All the doctors told his mother that there was nothing they could do. Like it or not, he was stuck with it.
All the years of growing up were really tough on him, as all who saw the screw made fun of him. He avoided ever leaving his house and thus, never made any friends.
One day, a mysterious stranger saw his belly and told him of a swami in Tibet who could get rid of the screw for him. He was thrilled. The next day he took all of his life's savings and bought a ticket to Nepal.
After several days of climbing up steep cliffs, he came upon a giant monastery. The swami knew exactly why he had come. He was told to sleep in the highest tower of the monastery and the following day when he awoke, the screw would have been removed.
The man immediately went to the room and fell asleep. During the night while he slept, a purple fog floated in an open window, bearing in its mist, a golden screwdriver. In just moments, the screw-driver removed the screw and disappeared out of the window.
The next morning when the boy woke, he saw the golden screw laying on the pillow next to him. Reaching down, he felt his navel, and there was no screw there!
Jubilant, he leaped out of bed, but in seconds, his butt fell off.
The moral to this is "Don't screw around with things you don't understand or you'll lose your ass".0 -
Once upon a time, a young lad was born without a belly button. In its place was a golden screw. All the doctors told his mother that there was nothing they could do. Like it or not, he was stuck with it.
All the years of growing up was real tough on him, as all who saw the screw made fun of him. He avoided ever leaving his house and thus, never made any friends.
One day, a mysterious stranger saw his belly and told him of a swami in Tibet that could get rid of the screw for him. He was thrilled. The next day he took all of his life's savings and bought a ticket to Nepal.
After several days of climbing up steep cliffs, he came upon a giant monastery. The swami knew exactly why he had come. He was told to sleep in the highest tower of the monastery and the following day when he awoke, the screw would have been removed.
The man immediately went to the room and fell asleep. During the night while he slept, a purple fog floated in an open window, bearing in its mist, a golden screwdriver. In just moments, the
screw-driver removed the screw and disappeared out the window.
The next morning when the man woke, he saw the golden screw laying on the pillow next to him. Reaching down, he felt his navel, and there was no screw there! Jubilant, he leaped out of bed, and his butt fell off.
The moral to this is "don't screw around with things you don't understand -- you could lose your azz". [;)][;)]0 -
Once upon a time, a young lad was born without a belly button. In its
Place was a golden screw. All the doctors told his mother that there
Was nothing they could do. Like it or not, he was stuck with it.
All the years of growing up was real tough on him because all who saw
The screw made fun of him. He avoided ever leaving his house and
Thus, never made any friends.
One day, a mysterious stranger saw his belly and told him of a Swami
In Tibet who could get rid of the screw for him. He was thrilled. The
Next day he took all of his life's savings and bought a ticket to Nepal .
After several days of climbing up steep cliffs, he came upon a giant
Monastery. The swami knew exactly why he had come. He was told to
Sleep in the highest tower of the monastery and the following day, when he
Awoke, the screw would have been removed.
The man immediately went to the room and fell asleep. During the
Night while he slept, a purple fog floated in an open window, bearing
In its mist a golden screwdriver. In just moments, the screwdriver removed
The screw and disappeared out the window.
The next morning when the boy awoke, he saw the golden screw lying on
The pillow next to him. Reaching down, he felt his navel, and there
Was no screw there!
Jubilant, he leaped out of bed, and his butt fell off.
The moral of this story is:
Don't screw around with things you don't understand --
You could lose your ass! [:D]0 -
The title reminded me of something that happened 40 years ago!
[:D][}:)][:D]0 -
[8D]--Nava Shipyards allways install a "Golden Rivit" somewhere in the bare hull internal, before component installation , on a NEW SUBMARINE--
--[^][^]--JIMBO0 -
[:D][:D][:D] 0 -
[:D][:D] 0 -
Had a kid at work tell one of the foremens that he was born without eye lids. He said that surgeons took some of the fore skin from his BallPark Frank and made new eyelids for him. All the while the foreman was soaking this in with seriousness, when the kid told him," Yeah, now I'm a little cock-eyed". 0 -
good idea 0 -
sarge that is just wrong[:D] 0 -
ATF, you brought back a memory. I heard this joke in October of 1956. It was told to my Air Force Basic flight by our TI..DI to you marines an sech..He stretched it out over two or three weeks, giving us the punch line on the day we graduated from boot camp. 0
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