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Purina Diet

ATF
Purina Diet







I have 2 large dogs, and was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog? Duh?
On impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time.
But I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was standing behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me?

I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my rear and a car hit me.



I thought the guy standing behind her was going to need help as he staggered to the door laughing.[:D]
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Comments

9 comments

Date Votes
  • ATF
    Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

    What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's azz and a car hit us both.

    I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
    laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

    Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
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  • ATF
    I have a Labrador Retriever. I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog: (DUH!)

    On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time.

    But that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

    Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

    I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

    I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!!!!
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  • JamesRK
    From anybody else I would have thought that was a joke. From you, I think that might have really happened. [:D] [:D] [:D]
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  • spryor
    [:D][:D][:D]
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  • phillip
    funny[:D]
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  • Raupleminze
    nice.............
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  • jwb267
    [:D][:D][:D][:D] good one!
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  • Horse Plains Drifter
    ATF[:D][:D][:D][:D]!!!!!!
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  • ATF
    quote:Originally posted by JamesRK
    From anybody else I would have thought that was a joke. From you, I think that might have really happened. [:D] [:D] [:D]



    Hey Jim !!!!!! standard.jpg
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