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Critique My Washington, D.C Letter for Me Please

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14 comments

  • p3skyking
    "Since the peaceful, lawful citizens haven't has handgun......"

    Probably should be haven't HAD.

    While a fine editorial column, it's way too long. Too much redundancy in the agencies being listed in D.C.

    Make an outline with your core message using a couple of examples.

    Example:

    Intro I'm a concerned citizen

    Background D.C's overturned handgun ban

    Historic aspects 30 years of failure,
    The right of freedmen to own weapons

    Core Message People choose their own way to meet the threat of crime

    Conclusion People, not government, are the best protectors of themselves

    Closing Give the new freedom a chance.



    Hope this helps.
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  • tr fox
    Thank you. I will pay close attention to what you offered and I will corrrect that improper word useage.
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  • pickenup
    Ok, you got the one p3 pointed out while I was making a reply.
    Here is another one.

    Or, is that idea insults the antigun.....
    Or, if? that idea.........

    Possibly instead of.......
    Level the playing field and let the lawful citizens use their handguns against crime

    Maybe.....

    Level the playing field and let the lawful citizens use their handguns to protect themselves FROM the criminals who HAVE guns, laws or not.
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  • Colt Super
    Fix the spelling errors.

    They make you appear iggerunt.

    D.
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  • slipgate
    I would remove any wording that is directly insulting to "liberals". While, true, and I am 100% with you on it, all it does it fuel the fire that its "us against them" (libs vs pubs). This should be portrayed as a battle of good against evil with no partisan politics. The conservatives are already with you, the liberals are not going to be convinced by insulting them. When written that way, it just sounds like a rant.

    Also what is with you and your 50 year sentences? Why not just leave it at "stricter punishment and enforcement of existing laws for crimes committed with a gun".
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  • Spider7115
    quote:Originally posted by Doug Wilson
    Fix the spelling errors.

    They make you appear iggerunt.

    D.

    I thinks you means "IGNANT"!
    main.jpg
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  • dcinffxva
    Good letter..many excellent points.
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  • tr fox
    quote:Originally posted by slipgate
    I would remove any wording that is directly insulting to "liberals". While, true, and I am 100% with you on it, all it does it fuel the fire that its "us against them" (libs vs pubs). This should be portrayed as a battle of good against evil with no partisan politics. The conservatives are already with you, the liberals are not going to be convinced by insulting them. When written that way, it just sounds like a rant.

    Also what is with you and your 50 year sentences? Why not just leave it at "stricter punishment and enforcement of existing laws for crimes committed with a gun".


    For some reason I just like the sound of it. Also by offering such a "strict" punishment only at the criminals, instead of at the lawful citizens, it puts the liberals in a bind. Reason being that here I am, a pro-gun person, offering a "gun law". That offering puts the liberals in a bind because if they resist my idea they now appear to be soft on crime and now appear to be part of the problem. And they WILL resist such a stiff punishment because for some reason the liberals have more forgiveness and sympathy for the violent criminals than they do for us peaceful, lawful gun owners.

    In addition, if we DID pass a hard 50 law for violent criminals using, for examaple, semi-auto handguns and rifles and large cap mag, and the crimes didn't stop (they won't) we can throw that fact into the face of the liberals when they come around wanting to pass a law that outlaws ALL semi-automatic firearms. Our position can be that even with the hard 50 law in place, the criminals STILL commit their semi-auto crimes so what is the point of trying to outlaw semi-autos when it is already obvious that only the already lawful, peaceful gun owners will obey that ban?
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  • tr fox
    quote:Originally posted by pickenup
    Ok, you got the one p3 pointed out while I was making a reply.
    Here is another one.

    Or, is that idea insults the antigun.....
    Or, if? that idea.........

    Possibly instead of.......
    Level the playing field and let the lawful citizens use their handguns against crime

    Maybe.....

    Level the playing field and let the lawful citizens use their handguns to protect themselves FROM the criminals who HAVE guns, laws or not.


    Thanks Pickenup. I say your reasoning on your last suggestion well enough that I made a major, but all together different change.
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  • sig232
    Good letter. I would leave this paragraph out!

    "Or, if that idea insults the antigun, liberals delicate objections to violence in general, how about this. Make the only change be that of a new, stricter anti-handgun law? Make a law that provides for a mandatory 50 year sentence for anyone who has a history of violence and uses a gun in a crime. If the liberals believe that gun crime can be controlled by more and more laws, surely they would have faith in such a new law with such punitive sentencing."






    Why give them that option when you are pointing out that the 30 year experment did not work.

    Plus the criminals can and do use knives and other tools to mug folks. If the citizens had guns rights they could protect themselves from all forms of attack.
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  • jbc23060
    For some reason I just like the sound of it. Also by offering such a "strict" punishment only at the criminals, instead of at the lawful citizens, it puts the liberals in a bind. Reason being that here I am, a pro-gun person, offering a "gun law". That offering puts the liberals in a bind because if they resist my idea they now appear to be soft on crime and now appear to be part of the problem. And they WILL resist such a stiff punishment because for some reason the liberals have more forgiveness and sympathy for the violent criminals than they do for us peaceful, lawful gun owners.

    In addition, if we DID pass a hard 50 law for violent criminals using, for examaple, semi-auto handguns and rifles and large cap mag, and the crimes didn't stop (they won't) we can throw that fact into the face of the liberals when they come around wanting to pass a law that outlaws ALL semi-automatic firearms. Our position can be that even with the hard 50 law in place, the criminals STILL commit their semi-auto crimes so what is the point of trying to outlaw semi-autos when it is already obvious that only the already lawful, peaceful gun owners will obey that ban?
    [/quote]

    The problem is that even if passed, it would only be used as a hammer against the ordinarily law abiding citizen. The true criminals would not bear the brunt of such a law due to their 'disadvantaged' upbringing or some other nonsense. There is no reason for new laws.

    The rest is pretty darn good. Let us know where it's printed. I will link it out to anyone who will listen.
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  • tr fox
    quote:Originally posted by jbc23060
    For some reason I just like the sound of it. Also by offering such a "strict" punishment only at the criminals, instead of at the lawful citizens, it puts the liberals in a bind. Reason being that here I am, a pro-gun person, offering a "gun law". That offering puts the liberals in a bind because if they resist my idea they now appear to be soft on crime and now appear to be part of the problem. And they WILL resist such a stiff punishment because for some reason the liberals have more forgiveness and sympathy for the violent criminals than they do for us peaceful, lawful gun owners.

    In addition, if we DID pass a hard 50 law for violent criminals using, for examaple, semi-auto handguns and rifles and large cap mag, and the crimes didn't stop (they won't) we can throw that fact into the face of the liberals when they come around wanting to pass a law that outlaws ALL semi-automatic firearms. Our position can be that even with the hard 50 law in place, the criminals STILL commit their semi-auto crimes so what is the point of trying to outlaw semi-autos when it is already obvious that only the already lawful, peaceful gun owners will obey that ban?


    The problem is that even if passed, it would only be used as a hammer against the ordinarily law abiding citizen. The true criminals would not bear the brunt of such a law due to their 'disadvantaged' upbringing or some other nonsense. There is no reason for new laws.

    The rest is pretty darn good. Let us know where it's printed. I will link it out to anyone who will listen.
    [/quote]

    Thank you (and everyone) for your helpful response.

    In red above. I planned for that possibility. That is why the law would read "50 year mandantory sentence for any violent crime committed by a criminal with a history of violent behavior. This means that EACH AND EVERYONE here would be untouched by such a new law. Reason being that if you can legally purchase a firearm you must not have a "history of violent crime". Therefore the law could not be directed at you.
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  • Colt Super
    How about "stoopd"??

    D.
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  • tr fox
    quote:Originally posted by Doug Wilson
    How about "stoopd"??

    D.


    don't be so critical of yourself.
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