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My update....last week was VERY bad

Locust Fork
Everyone here "kind of" knows my situation. My father owned a busy gun store.....I was running the store he owned for a long time before he retired. The plan I had was to have a small business of my own that I could run from home selling firearms on line (this is why I have my own FFL.) Instead of going that route....I stayed on with the store when a father and son bought it.

Mr Stegall and his son bought the store well over a yr ago. His son is young and is VERY good at this.....he knows more than anyone I have met about firearms in general. (A lot of people may know a LOT about one type of firearm...but to know a little about ALL types is rare...and a MUST if you want to run a gun store.) The two of them are wonderful people as well. Not a mean bone in their body. Honest to a fault....and fun to be around.

Mr Stegall passed away Monday nite. His passing was unexpected.....even though he was not in perfect health. His son is deeply affected by his loss and I have tried to be as helpful as I can be without overstepping my boundaries. Things I did before the business was sold I have tried to check on....and get an idea of what is going on.

Everyone was in a state of shock this past week.....we were open some....closed some....the viewing and funeral had many many people, his large family, from his 30 year career in the police department and his customers from the store. The flowers were everywhere and I can't say there was a person there who wasn't deeply affected by his passing like he did.

In the middle of it all...I posted a couple of times here....I answered my e-mails...and I just went ahead and shipped the items out that I could (that were not guns) and I am hoping that in the middle of this I haven't overstepped any boundaries. I cannot tell what I need to do....and what I should let go. I am bad at bossing the crap out of situations. I don't want to upset anyone or make them think I am taking over......but I want to help....by taking over. (its crazy)
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Comments

11 comments

Date Votes
  • Sig220_Ruger77
    First off, my condolences go out to Mr. Stegall, his family, and all of his friends(including you).

    As far as the store situation goes, only you can decide how you handle it. It sounds like Mr. Stegall's son is very fortunate to have someone like you to help him with his business(ecspecially at a time like this). There are very few people out there today who would be kind and willing enough to do what you are doing. At the same time, the store now belongs to the son(correct?). My take would be to help him as much as possible while he is dealing with the initial feeling of loss and then slowly faze yourself to handle less and less of the load. And then maybe talk it over with the son and see how much he would like you to help in everything? Like I said though, only you know the exact situation and although we can speculate and guess as much as we want, only you have all the information. By the sounds of it you will handle the situation very well[^].

    Jon
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  • elkoholic
    Sounds like you are doing all you can. Hopefully next week will be better.
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  • p3skyking
    Let the son know that during this period of mourning, you will relieve him of the burden of managing the day to day operations, but will be ready to hand over the reins whenever he is prepared to take them.
    Much good Karma will come from this.[:)]
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  • Fatstrat
    Me thinks you think too much. Which is probably normal in the current situation. The passing of a family member/close friend always creates a rough couple weeks (at least) of reflection, mourning and adjustment.
    You are hired to do a job. Do the job. If you see duties that the owners son is neglecting due to his obvious responsibilities elsewhere during this difficult time. Ask him if he'd like for you to help w/them.
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  • LKB3rd
    My condolences for the loss of your boss/friend.
    I agree with the guys here who say to talk to him, let him know you are willing and able to step up with anything he needs done but are concerned about stepping on his toes. Tell him if he sees you doing anything he doesn't feel comfortable with to let you know, but you'll try to pick up some extra slack til he gets past his initial mourning and is able to be more active.
    Then he knows your intention is to help out during the crisis, and there is no unspoken suspicions that you might be trying to step into his shoes during the crisis.
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  • Permanently deleted user
    Prayers sent LF...
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  • Locust Fork
    Its a very hard position to be in.....but there isn't any way to make things better. I am fortunate to be familiar with all of the "running" of things.....and the accountant along with everyone else know me. The bank accounts and expenses are all delt with in the same way as it was back when I was doing things so I can check on it all. Its not too bad as far as everything work related is concerned. Its the silly little things that have thrown me off (like the fax machine being out of ink.) I have straightened things out so that at least we know where we stand.....and dealing with that has gotten me behind in the regular items I take care of.

    The son was always the true owner of the store. The father was trying to get the son situated in a way that he would have the business....and I feel like I was lucky to be involved in them taking it over. I hope that whatever happens the son is able to maintain everything as his father wanted. There will be some things that will have to be handled by the family before anyone knows what will come of it all.

    I have LOTS of items I had picked up myself in the past couple weeks that I will be listing on line. I will not list everything like I had planned, but at a smaller, easier to deal with pace. I am hoping that everything works out with the store....and that the family understands that this was what the father wanted for his son. It is so very odd to worry about something that drove you completely mad not all that long ago. It reminds me of riding a roller coaster....where you yell and scream the whole time....but at the end you hate that you've stopped.
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  • flyingtorpedo
    quote:Originally posted by LKB3rd
    My condolences for the loss of your boss/friend.
    I agree with the guys here who say to talk to him, let him know you are willing and able to step up with anything he needs done but are concerned about stepping on his toes. Tell him if he sees you doing anything he doesn't feel comfortable with to let you know, but you'll try to pick up some extra slack til he gets past his initial mourning and is able to be more active.
    Then he knows your intention is to help out during the crisis, and there is no unspoken suspicions that you might be trying to step into his shoes during the crisis.


    +1 Best of luck during this hard time
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  • ElMuertoMonkey
    My condolences to Mr. Stegall's family.

    As far as not overstepping your bounds or worrying about overstepping your bounds, I am sure Stegall's son appreciates having someone mind the store - imagine how stressed out he would be if you just sat around and did nothing!

    I'm sure you're not looking to supplant him as "the boss" and I'm sure he knows that. You're taking care of business as best you can during this very difficult time and he will appreciate it if he doesn't already.
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  • oldgunner
    Good advice from p3. Let him know everything is covered and that he has no worries about the store until he's ready to come back. There won't be any resentment. He will appreciate your taking over for a while..
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  • pickenup
    Sorry to hear the sad news.

    Talk to him.
    Quit second guessing.
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