The Lone Ranger and Tonto
The Lone Ranger and Tonto had made camp for the night and the Ranger went into the bushes to take a leak. Suddenly a huge rattlesnake bit him on the end of his peepee. He staggered back to camp and told Tonto to get help. Tonto leaped on his horse and rode like the wind. Over the mountain, through the woods, across the river and into town. He ran into the Drs office and yelled Dr., Kimosabe bit by snake what me do? The Doc said you have to suck the poison out or he'll die. So Tonto runs out of the office jumps on his horse rides across the river, through the woods and over the mountain and into the camp. The Ranger lay on the ground in pain looks up at his friend and asks what did the Dr. say. Tonto looks down and in a tearful voice says.
He Say you going to die
He Say you going to die
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went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later,Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see? '
'The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.'
'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says,
'Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord
is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?'
'You dumber than buffalo S""T. It means
someone stole the tent.'0 -
[:)] [:)] [:)] [:)] [:)] [:)] [:)] [:)] 0 -
the lone ranger goes into a bar to have a drink tonto stays with the horses, he then goes to the door and says kemosabie silver is getting hot the lone ranger says take a blanket and run around him and fan him with it, another cowboy comes in and says who owns the big white horse the lone ranger say me, why? the fellow says just wanted to let you know you left your injun runnnin'! 0 -
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Both jokes are over 30 years old, but they still make me laugh.[:D] 0 -
I always that it was an inside joke that Tonto is spanish for stupid. 0 -
I was under the impression ESTUPIDO was spanish for stupid, but this was from a latino relative [ Colombian lady married into the family ] 0 -
Kimosabe?? Is that Indian for White guy with silver peepee? 0 -
kemo sabe means nothing ...it was made up....what a hoot...lone ranger always says "tonto go to town get information"...tonto was always the only indian in the saloon which didnt sell whiskey to indians so he always got the crap beat out of him ....then goes back & tells LR the scoop whereupon LR leaps on silver's back & says "HI YO silver AWAY" ...now this went on fairly regular till silver got fed up & asked " how much lead they got this time --5-10-35 miles..."phooey no more running my a$$ off just to catch the bad guys when you never shoot anyone" 0 -
Peary is right.
I remember the old dubbed in Spanish version of the TV show at public broadcast where Ranger's side kick was called not "Tonto" (dummy), but rather "Toro" (bull). Batman was not gay either.
That was PC in 1966.0 -
quote:Originally posted by spasmcreek
kemo sabe means nothing ...it was made up....what a hoot...lone ranger always says "tonto go to town get information"...tonto was always the only indian in the saloon which didnt sell whiskey to indians so he always got the crap beat out of him ....then goes back & tells LR the scoop whereupon LR leaps on silver's back & says "HI YO silver AWAY" ...now this went on fairly regular till silver got fed up & asked " how much lead they got this time --5-10-35 miles..."phooey no more running my a$$ off just to catch the bad guys when you never shoot anyone"
shades of Bill Cosby... Good stuff...0 -
This is true. In real life Tonto's name was Simon Wasserstein. He once saved Lee Marvin from certain death on Iwo Jima and was awarded the CMOH. He then later diverted an asteriod from colliding with Earth thereby saving us all. He then went on to win Celebrity Jeopardy in 1989. I am happy to learn that kimosabe does NOT mean White man with silver peepee. 0 -
always used to watch the good guy leap off the 2nd story balcony onto his faithful steed & clatter off after the bad guy...thought that would have startled horse to dump his A$$ on main street or jerked the hitchin post out unless ground tied...wonder if any ever joined the boys choir after a few inexact landings........ 0
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