Message From the Rural Midwest!
A message from the rural Midwest:
Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when East Coasters and
Californians cross states such as Illinois, Ohio, Indiana, Wisconsin,
Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa, Michigan, Missouri, Minnesota, North Dakota, and South
Dakota, those states' Tourism Councils have adopted a set of informal ion
guidelines. In an effort to help outsiders understand the Midwest, the
following list
will be handed to each driver entering the state:
1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work before
breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a 'gravel road'. No matter how slow you drive, you're going
to get dust on your car.
3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah,
we saw Bambi. We got over it.
4. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a
flathead catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little
trout
you fish for...bait.
5. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their
final approach, we will shoot it! You might hope you don't have it up to your
ear
at the time.
7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it
rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham
and turkey.
8. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over
ice.
9. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on weekends? We're
real impressed... We have a quarter-million dollar combine that we only use two
weeks a year.
10. Let's get this straight - We have one stoplight in town. We stop when
it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
11. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks--because they want to. So,
you're a feminist... Isn't that cute...
12. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too--and turtle. You really want sushi and
caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
13. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like
it? Interstates 70, 80, & 90 go two ways--Interstates 29, 35, & 69 go the
other two. Pick one and use it accordingly.
14. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.
15. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly.
Understand the concept?
16. Yeah, we have golf courses. Just don't hit in the water hazard. It
spooks our fish.
17. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like
an idiot, his name is "Sir". No matter how old he is.
18. The bill on your hat should turn down at the edges to shed the rain and
be centered over your nose to keep the sunlight out of your eyes. Any other
location/orientation makes you look like an idiot.
Now, enjoy your visit!
Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when East Coasters and
Californians cross states such as Illinois, Ohio, Indiana, Wisconsin,
Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa, Michigan, Missouri, Minnesota, North Dakota, and South
Dakota, those states' Tourism Councils have adopted a set of informal ion
guidelines. In an effort to help outsiders understand the Midwest, the
following list
will be handed to each driver entering the state:
1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work before
breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a 'gravel road'. No matter how slow you drive, you're going
to get dust on your car.
3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah,
we saw Bambi. We got over it.
4. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a
flathead catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little
trout
you fish for...bait.
5. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their
final approach, we will shoot it! You might hope you don't have it up to your
ear
at the time.
7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it
rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham
and turkey.
8. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over
ice.
9. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on weekends? We're
real impressed... We have a quarter-million dollar combine that we only use two
weeks a year.
10. Let's get this straight - We have one stoplight in town. We stop when
it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
11. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks--because they want to. So,
you're a feminist... Isn't that cute...
12. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too--and turtle. You really want sushi and
caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
13. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like
it? Interstates 70, 80, & 90 go two ways--Interstates 29, 35, & 69 go the
other two. Pick one and use it accordingly.
14. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.
15. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly.
Understand the concept?
16. Yeah, we have golf courses. Just don't hit in the water hazard. It
spooks our fish.
17. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like
an idiot, his name is "Sir". No matter how old he is.
18. The bill on your hat should turn down at the edges to shed the rain and
be centered over your nose to keep the sunlight out of your eyes. Any other
location/orientation makes you look like an idiot.
Now, enjoy your visit!
0
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YEP,thats how it is in my "neck of the woods" or "bend of the river"[;)] 0 -
I agree 110%! [:D] 0 -
Good one![:D] 0 -
AMen. [:)] 0 -
Welcome to Iowa 0 -
quote:9. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on weekends? We're
real impressed... We have a quarter-million dollar combine that we only use two
weeks a year.
I love this one. The truth rings loud in it.0 -
quote:Originally posted by sothere
Welcome to Iowa
Ditto that!0 -
Makes scense...some people have no clue 0 -
Welcome to Wisconsin, as well as Iowa. Them thar Iowans only know what corn fields are. 0 -
Good ones!
[:D][:D][:D]0 -
I still wouldnt want to live in a state where the most interesting topographical feature is a flat horizon. Cant drive fast enough to get out of the grain belt.Most of those sights are just a blur. 0 -
http://forums.gunbroker.com/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=154112
http://forums.gunbroker.com/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=98036
http://forums.gunbroker.com/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=65906
Told you there are no new ones. sigh[:(].
But it is good.0 -
Is Ohio part of the Midwest 0 -
You are 100% correct!!!
Signed---- A ranch boy that has spent his whole life in rural Nebraska.
You forgot one thing though
Biggest truck goes first!!![:D][:D][:D]0 -
Redneck, Ohio says they are midwest. The rest of the midwest says Ohio is down east. 0 -
Orygun (hopefully)????
D.0 -
Orygun is owned by starbucks like Washington right? Not midwest. Not no way, not no how.
Orygun that says come vist, spend money and then go home? Not no way, not no how.0 -
You're right. But you must realize that Orygun is 2 entirely different principalities: Portland, and everywhere else.
Could we maybe have "Honorary" status??
Remember, our motto used to be "Don't Kalifornicate Oregon", and also " Welcome to Oregon. Now go home."
D.0 -
quote:Orygun that says come vist, spend money and then go home?
quote:Remember, our motto used to be..." Welcome to Oregon. Now go home."
'splain me the difference Lucy. I think you Oregonians are not Midwestern.0 -
LOL! 
You hit the nail right on the head.0 -
Oh you have really got to let a south georgia boy borrow that and post it by our interstate. Some city folks dont have a clue. 0 -
I risked my life and went to downtown Indy a week or so ago to see "The Who" concert. The security guy, fresh off his day job at Mickey-Dee's took my pocket knife. Glad I wasn't carrying (with my IN permit) my 357. Glad to see these dudes are looking out for my safety. 0
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