redneck
I believe this has been around from time to time for a long time. Seems very appropriate at this time to be repeated
His name was Bubba; he was from Mississippi and he needed a loan. So,
he walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan Officer.
He told the loan officer that he was going to Paris for an
International Redneck Festival for two weeks and needed to borrow
$5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of
security for the loan, so the Redneck handed over the keys to a new
Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The
Redneck produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer
agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for
having to charge 12% interest. Later, the bank's president and it's
officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Redneck from the south for
using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee
of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's private underground
garage and parked it.
Two weeks later, the Redneck returned, repaid the $5,000 and the
interest of $23.07. The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to
have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very
nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked
you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found that you are a distinguished
alumni from Ole Miss University, a highly sophisticated investor and
multi-millionaire with real estate and financial interests all over the
world. Your investments include a large number of wind turbines around
Sweetwater, Texas. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow
$5,000?"
The good 'ole boy replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my
car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I
return?"
His name was BUBBA... and we are related. Keep an eye on us "south
mouths"! Just because you think we talk funny does not mean we are
stupid.
His name was Bubba; he was from Mississippi and he needed a loan. So,
he walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan Officer.
He told the loan officer that he was going to Paris for an
International Redneck Festival for two weeks and needed to borrow
$5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of
security for the loan, so the Redneck handed over the keys to a new
Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The
Redneck produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer
agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for
having to charge 12% interest. Later, the bank's president and it's
officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Redneck from the south for
using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee
of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's private underground
garage and parked it.
Two weeks later, the Redneck returned, repaid the $5,000 and the
interest of $23.07. The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to
have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very
nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked
you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found that you are a distinguished
alumni from Ole Miss University, a highly sophisticated investor and
multi-millionaire with real estate and financial interests all over the
world. Your investments include a large number of wind turbines around
Sweetwater, Texas. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow
$5,000?"
The good 'ole boy replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my
car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I
return?"
His name was BUBBA... and we are related. Keep an eye on us "south
mouths"! Just because you think we talk funny does not mean we are
stupid.
0
-
"An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare.
With that as his mission he began to search for the perfect woman.
Shortly there after he met a Redneck who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away.
So he explained his mission to the Redneck and asked for permission to marry one of them.
The Redneck simply replied, "They're lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want."
The man dated the first daughter.
The next day the Redneck asked for the man's opinion.
"Well," said the man, "she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice...pigeon-toed."
The Redneck nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the ! second daughter.
The next day, the Redneck again asked how things went.
"Well,"the man replied, "she's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell...cross-eyed."
The Redneck nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.
The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, "She's perfect, just perfect. She's the one I want to marry."
So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born. When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was
the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law and asked how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.
"Well," explained the RedneckA??,?A?
"She was just a weeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell...
pregnant when you met her."0 -
Subject: redneck
A filthy rich North Carolina man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors.
He also invited Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood.
He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.
Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.
At the height of the
party, the host said,
"I have a 10 ft man-eating alligator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in."
The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!
Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking it's a$$!
Leroy was jabbing the gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping the gator through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor. The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising hell.
Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish.
Leroy then slowly climbed out of the
pool.
Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.
Finally the host says, "Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars,"
"No, that's okay. I don't want it," said Leroy.
The rich man said,"Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?"
"No thanks, I don't want it," answered Leroy.
The host said,"Come on, I insist on giving you something.
That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?"
Again Leroy said no.
Confused, the rich man asked,"Well, Leroy, then
what do you want?"
Leroy said,"I want the name of the sumbich who pushed me in the pool!"0 -
Yes, the new one is out! Brand new edition of...
You know you're a redneck when......
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool
Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.0 -
RTOFLMAO
Dats one smart redneck, dat is. I don't care who you are, that there is a funny joke.0 -
[:D][:D][:D][:D] 0 -
[:D] 0 -
Very funny! Beach 0
Please sign in to leave a comment.
Comments
7 comments