Skip to main content
Help Center Community Shop

Comments

9 comments

Date Votes
  • SuburbanNoize
    Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

    Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

    Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.

    Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages toget invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

    War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

    The Dutch War - Tied.

    War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War -Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

    War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved ever since.

    American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

    French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

    The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

    The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

    World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

    World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

    War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu. Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

    War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history,surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
    0
  • SuburbanNoize
    Hello, go to www.gunpartscorp.com and type in part number 1246570. I think you may get a laugh or at least a smile.

    Michael
    0
  • Colt Super
    I was about to send this to my good friend, Citroen/Renault driving, Dave LaBonne, when I recalled his heritage, and decided not to hurt him. He would not find this humorous.

    Doug
    0
  • remington nut
    FRENCH MILITARY = OXY MORON[:D]
    0
  • ElMuertoMonkey
    Don't cast stoens - we haven't been doing so hot lately...
    0
  • akfanatik
    this shows just how icompetant the french truley are?!?!
    pretty good----http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCB6PLu8G8M
    0
  • DancesWithSheep
    quote:Originally posted by ElMuertoMonkey
    Don't cast stoens - we haven't been doing so hot lately...

    Ha! We kicked major ass in Grenada. Stop dissin' America.
    0
  • ElMuertoMonkey
    DWS,

    [:D]
    0
  • bobski
    i served with the french.
    they are excellent warriors.
    0

Please sign in to leave a comment.

Recent Activity