Blond joke
Blond walks into the drug store and asks the clerk for an anti-perspirant. He hands her a stick deodorant and tells her to read the directions.
The next day she comes back and asks for another one and the clerk hands her one.
The third day she comes in, she asks for another and something for constipation.The puzzled clerk asks if she read the directions.She answers "Of course i did, see, it says right here, PUSH UP BOTTOM!
The next day she comes back and asks for another one and the clerk hands her one.
The third day she comes in, she asks for another and something for constipation.The puzzled clerk asks if she read the directions.She answers "Of course i did, see, it says right here, PUSH UP BOTTOM!
0
-
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.
He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."
[:D][:D]
"Go over,go under,go around,or go through.But never give up. "
0 -
A young couple is with their contractor at the new house that is under construction. They are telling the contractor what colors they want the walls painted.
They enter the the kitchen and the wife says she would like the walls painted a muted olive color. The contractor goes to the window and yells out "Green side Up!" The couple look at each other with a puzzled look and move on to the living room.
We would like this room painted in Autumn Taupe. With that the contractor goes to window and yells "Green side up!" Again the couple give each other a quizzical glance and move on to the master bedroom.
The husband and wife decide on a mauve color. Again the contractor leans out a window and yells "Green side up!"
Now the couple has had it. They confront the contractor. Why, when we tell you what color we want, you yell out the window "Green side up!"?
The contractor replies " I just hired a couple of blonds to lay the sod."0 -
Norman and his blonde wife life in Fargo. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 3 to 4 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through". Norman's wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later, while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 4 to 5 inches of snow today, you must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snow- plow can get through.". So, Norman's wife goes out and moves her car.
The next week they are having breakfast again and the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 -12 inches of snow today, you must park..." then the electricity goes out. Norman's wife says, "Honey, I don't know what to do..."
Norman says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time."
Lt.RRG
"Go over,go under,go around,or go through.But never give up."0 -
I was sitting next to a blonde and she was reading the newspaper. I glanced over and one of the headlines read "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed".
She was shaking her head at the news. She turned to me and asked "How many is a Brazilian?"
at least nunn wont get this one [;)][;)]
"Go over,go under,go around,or go through.But never give up."0 -
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."0 -
A blonde city girl marries a Texas rancher. One morning, on his way out
to the fields, the rancher says to her, 'The insemination man is coming
over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the 2 by
4 just above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is
when he gets here, OK?'
The rancher leaves for the fields.
After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the
front door. The wife takes him down to the barn. They walk along the
row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, 'This is the one,
right here.'
The man, assuming he is dealing with an 'air head blonde', asks, 'Tell
me, lady, 'cause I'm dying to know. How would YOU know this is the cow
to be bred?'
'That's simple. By the nail over its stall,' she explains very confidently.
Laughing rudely at her, the man says, 'And what, pray tell, is the nail for?'
She turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder. 'I guess it's
to hang your pants on.'0 -
Three women are about to be executed.
One's a brunette, one's a redhead and one's a blonde.
The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!''
Suddenly the brunette yells, ''EARTHQUAKE!!!''
Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.
The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She say no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!''
Suddenly the redhead yells, ''TORNADO!!!''
Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.
By now the blonde has it all figured out.
The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no and the executioner shouts, Ready! Aim!''
and the blonde yells,.....''FIRE!!!'''
The gene pool needs chlorine.0 -
[:D] 0 -
[:D][:D][:D]All dumbs aren't blond ya know. 0 -
worth 6 [:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D] 0 -
[:D][:D] 0
Please sign in to leave a comment.
Comments
11 comments