You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." (Love it!)
The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.
The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.
Instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.
The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink."
"Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.
The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear."
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." (Love it!)
The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.
The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.
Instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.
The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink."
"Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.
The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear."
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Yep, thats right...But, you forgot the faded R/C Cola sign hang'n in the front... 0 -
[:D][:D] 0 -
they`re good ones.
i have always wanted to go to and hear a real fire and brimstone preacher in a genuine southern church!...those preachers seem to have the knack of getting people to stay awake !![8D]0 -
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.
"The collection plates are really KFC buckets" is more accurate
The baptismal is a horse tank.
The church is a converted pole barn0 -
This brings back a memory.The first time i visited, my then girlfriends Church back in the Mountains, their was a vase of flowers in front of the altar.The vase was a brass spittoon. 0
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