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How to get out of a speeding ticket

Jacob2008
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. It was revoked when I got my 5th DWI.

Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his Captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the Captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.

Captain: Whose car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration. The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!
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Comments

6 comments

Date Votes
  • dheffley
    Try it and see if it follows the script![:D]
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  • Jacob2008
    quote:Originally posted by dheffley
    Try it and see if it follows the script![:D]
    nahhh, i dont wanna get shot!
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  • jwb267
    oldie but a goodie [:D]
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  • Warbirds
    Mostly I get a 20 minute long lecture on not having a TX drivers lic., a ticket for 15-20 over, and a mailing address on where the check is supposed to go.
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  • 11BravoCrunchie
    When I become a cop, I won't stop people for speeding alone unless they're in the double digets over the speed limit. Turn signals (or lack there-of, rather) will be an automatic ticket from me, regardless of the story. The damn lever is right there next to your steering wheel...just inches away, and everyone has to know how to use it to get their license in the first place, so there's no excuse why you can't use it.
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  • Jacob2008
    quote:Originally posted by Zulu7
    When I become a cop, I won't stop people for speeding alone unless they're in the double digets over the speed limit. Turn signals (or lack there-of, rather) will be an automatic ticket from me, regardless of the story. The damn lever is right there next to your steering wheel...just inches away, and everyone has to know how to use it to get their license in the first place, so there's no excuse why you can't use it.
    You'd hate dad [:D][:D][}:)] Here if you signal your gonna get cut off. Dunno why, people cant drive
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