Old Guys
I don't usually post things like this, but here it is..
Gunslinger &the Old Prospector
An old prospector walks his tired old mule into a
western town one day He'd been out in the desert for
about six months without a drop of whiskey.
He walked up to the first saloon he came to and tied
his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there brushing
some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young
gunslinger walked out of the saloon with a gun in one hand
and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying,
"Hey old man, have you ever danced?"
The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No,
I never did dance. I just never wanted to."
A crowd had gathered by then and the gunslinger said,
"Well, you old fool, you're gonna' dance now," and
started shooting at the old man' s feet. The old prospector was
hopping a round and everybody was laughing.
When the gunslinger fired his last bullet, he holstered his
gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old man reached up on the mule, drew his shotgun, and
pulled both hammers back making a double clicking sound. The
gunslinger heard the sound and everything got quiet. The crowd
watched as the gunslinger slowly turned around looking down both
barrels of the shotgun.
The old man asked, "Did you ever kiss a mule square on the ass?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No. But I've always wanted to."
The lessons from this story are:
1. Don't waste ammunition.
2. Don't mess with old guys.
Gunslinger &the Old Prospector
An old prospector walks his tired old mule into a
western town one day He'd been out in the desert for
about six months without a drop of whiskey.
He walked up to the first saloon he came to and tied
his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there brushing
some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young
gunslinger walked out of the saloon with a gun in one hand
and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying,
"Hey old man, have you ever danced?"
The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No,
I never did dance. I just never wanted to."
A crowd had gathered by then and the gunslinger said,
"Well, you old fool, you're gonna' dance now," and
started shooting at the old man' s feet. The old prospector was
hopping a round and everybody was laughing.
When the gunslinger fired his last bullet, he holstered his
gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old man reached up on the mule, drew his shotgun, and
pulled both hammers back making a double clicking sound. The
gunslinger heard the sound and everything got quiet. The crowd
watched as the gunslinger slowly turned around looking down both
barrels of the shotgun.
The old man asked, "Did you ever kiss a mule square on the ass?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No. But I've always wanted to."
The lessons from this story are:
1. Don't waste ammunition.
2. Don't mess with old guys.
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I've said that if I could, I'd enlist today and help my country track down
those responsible for killing thousands of innocent people in New York City
and Washington, D.C. But, I'm over 60 now and the Armed Forces say I'm too
old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the
military.
They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off
to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join
until you're at least 35. For starters:
- Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys
only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more that 28,000
additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
- Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is
a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into
submission. "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote control?"
- An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war
until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old guy, on
the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35 and
a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60 would do wonders
for the old beer belly.
- An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys get up early
just to show we can (and to steal the neighbor's newspaper and pee).
- If old guys are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd probably
forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a
real brainteaser.
- Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys. We're used to getting
screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've also developed
a deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We like them almost better than
naps. They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been to
the desert and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the
side. I can hear the Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er...one."
- And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen anyone
outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave. To actually carry on a conversation. To wear pants without the top of
the butt crack showing and the boxer shorts sticking out. To learn that a
pierced tongue catches food particles. And that a 200-watt speaker in the
back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum. All great reasons to
keep our sons at home and to learn a little more about life before sending
them off to a possible death. Let us old guys track down those dirty, rotten
cowards who attacked our hearts on September 11.
The last thing they'd want to see right now is a couple of million old farts
with attitudes
[:)][:D][8D][:I][:p][}:)][;)][:o)]
ATF0 -
[:D] 0 -
I not as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was!!!!!!! 0 -
Good one! 0 -
Especially true when the "old guy" has some fancy BAT actions with Gawd-awful-expensive scopes, barrels, stocks and triggers on them......and he knows how to shoot! [;)][;)][;)][:D] 0 -
[:D][:D][:D]....should post 'em more often B...[;)] 
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