Prayer from a Catholic football fan

Gracious God, may our actions never be out of bounds, keep us like our field goal attempts, between the uprights. May our fumbles be few, our recoveries quick. And when we score a touchdown, remind us, of what we owe our tackles. Help all of us to keep focused on the goal post of heaven, rather than earth. Let us not be discouraged by missed tackles and interceptions. And when our passes are intercepted, let us improve our aim. Teach us to prize an honest defeat, above a dishonest victory. May all of us have conversions in our lives on and off the playing field of life. Help us to play the game, so that on your scorecard, O Divine Referee, we may be included in the eternal hall of fame. AMEN.

Here is some of my religious football lingo.

Quarterback sneak: people who leave before or immediatly after communion.

Fake: Pretending you are enjoying the singing.

Trap: In the middle of a crowded pew.

staying in the pocket: When money isnt given to God.

Sudden Death: A priest going overtime.

Offsides: Latecomers standing against the wall.

double reverse: Two collections.

Draw: the same priest 3 weeks in a row.

Screen; Praying with eyes closed at the collection.

Standing room only; Chrismas and Easter

conversion: a 7 day a week Christian.

Huddle: The pastor and the finance committee.

Sunday afternoon Quarterback: "If I were this priest I'd..."

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