Top 49 Conspiracy Theories
1. Ronald Reagan's second term was the inspiration for Weekend at Bernie's 2.
2. TWA Flight 800 landed safely... in 1954.
3. The noble gases of the periodic table are not noble at all, but a bunch of sleazy plasmas.
4. The "Director's Cut" version of The Ten Commandments includes four additional, never-before-seen commandments.
5. Procter & Gamble executives celebrate Satan's power by drinking flaming shots of Pantener
6. Princess Diana was assassinated by NAMBLA.
7. Sesame Street's Big Bird exudes an affable, nice-guy nature to conceal his true, deep-down, serial ritualistic murderer self.
8. Playing Eminem's Marshall Mathers EP backwards reveals an unabridged audio transcript of the Equal Rights Amendment.
9. Romans didn't kill Christ. The Klingons did.
10. Adolph Hitler enjoyed a lucrative post-war career as a corrupt Brazilian pool boy.
11. Everyone was afraid of Virginia Woolf - that's how she got published.
12. Delaware is a hallucination.
13. Steven Spielberg gets his "through the eyes of a child" inspirations by drinking the blood of children.
14. Chicago's water has been spiked with LSD since the '68 Democratic Convention.
15. Under cover of night, stealthy mobs of ninja homosexuals beautify your neighborhood.
16. PETA members routinely supplement their protein-deficient diets with steaming casseroles of human cuticles!
17. Strom Thurmond prefers "dark meat."
18. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman divorced over "divergent careers."
19. The Unabomber was driven to madness by Coleco Electronic Quarterback handheld football.
20. The women of MAXIM Magazine are painstakingly retouched, dewrinkled, deveined, and artificially thinned in Photoshop - PRIOR to having their pictures taken.
21. The mysterious CIA black helicopter squadron is commanded by Airwolf's Ernest Borgnine.
22. Corn kernels contain alien biosensors capable of passing through the body intact.
23. Log Cabin Republicans secretly coerced confirmation votes in support of John Ashcroft's hunky ass.
24. Bill Gates cheats on his wife by hacking in to teenaged girls' computers and reading their love poetry!
25. The amazing products of Ronco are actually surplus CIA technologies.
26. Blockbuster Video devotes 10% of all profits to the Titanium Hymen Society.
27. 2001's California energy crisis was actually due to escaped Gremlins from San Francisco's Chinatown.
28. Lee Harvey Oswald fiercely resented Kennedy's hairline.
29. Pop Rocks and Pepsi killed grandpa
30. "Tourette's Syndrome" is just smart people having fun.
31. Frank Purdue suppressed irrefutable evidence that chickens compose hauntingly beautiful film scores.
32. Deployment of the International Space Station project has been delayed by the mischievous poltergeist of Christa MacAuliffe.
33. Alan Greenspan is an idiot savant who counts on his fingers.
34. Post-coital smoking killed the dinosaurs.
35. Nobody wins Lotto.
36. The Tooth Fairy resells molars at $3.50 a pop.
37. The Trix Rabbit uses reverse psychology to instill sugar-cereal-desire in children.
38. A gluttonous, drug addled, and enraged Elvis Presley choked to death while trying to swallow his slumbering wife Priscilla.
39. Department store animatronic Christmas displays are bristling with surveillance equipment.
40. While you're away, The FBI sneaks into your home and roots through your old Hustlers.
41. That wasn't Elizabeth Taylor accepting the 1960 Best Actress Academy Award - it was really a pill-popping J. Edgar Hoover in full drag.
42. Lyle Lovett was the inspiration for Chia Pets
43. Walt Disney personally rigged the Florida elections from his subterranean bunker far beneath Epcot Center.
44. A tipsy Richard Nixon took the famous photo of a naked John and Yoko cuddling in bed.
45. The Billboard Top 40 are determined by intense late-night games of "Rock, Paper, Scissors."
46. Watergate snitch "Deep Throat" and "Deep Throat" star Linda Lovelace were in fact one and the same.
47. Sportscaster Bob Costas is really cutting-edge claymation.
48. Hillary Clinton didn't kill Vince Foster. Chelsea did.
49. Barry Manilow didn't write the songs. He didn't even really sing them.
2. TWA Flight 800 landed safely... in 1954.
3. The noble gases of the periodic table are not noble at all, but a bunch of sleazy plasmas.
4. The "Director's Cut" version of The Ten Commandments includes four additional, never-before-seen commandments.
5. Procter & Gamble executives celebrate Satan's power by drinking flaming shots of Pantener
6. Princess Diana was assassinated by NAMBLA.
7. Sesame Street's Big Bird exudes an affable, nice-guy nature to conceal his true, deep-down, serial ritualistic murderer self.
8. Playing Eminem's Marshall Mathers EP backwards reveals an unabridged audio transcript of the Equal Rights Amendment.
9. Romans didn't kill Christ. The Klingons did.
10. Adolph Hitler enjoyed a lucrative post-war career as a corrupt Brazilian pool boy.
11. Everyone was afraid of Virginia Woolf - that's how she got published.
12. Delaware is a hallucination.
13. Steven Spielberg gets his "through the eyes of a child" inspirations by drinking the blood of children.
14. Chicago's water has been spiked with LSD since the '68 Democratic Convention.
15. Under cover of night, stealthy mobs of ninja homosexuals beautify your neighborhood.
16. PETA members routinely supplement their protein-deficient diets with steaming casseroles of human cuticles!
17. Strom Thurmond prefers "dark meat."
18. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman divorced over "divergent careers."
19. The Unabomber was driven to madness by Coleco Electronic Quarterback handheld football.
20. The women of MAXIM Magazine are painstakingly retouched, dewrinkled, deveined, and artificially thinned in Photoshop - PRIOR to having their pictures taken.
21. The mysterious CIA black helicopter squadron is commanded by Airwolf's Ernest Borgnine.
22. Corn kernels contain alien biosensors capable of passing through the body intact.
23. Log Cabin Republicans secretly coerced confirmation votes in support of John Ashcroft's hunky ass.
24. Bill Gates cheats on his wife by hacking in to teenaged girls' computers and reading their love poetry!
25. The amazing products of Ronco are actually surplus CIA technologies.
26. Blockbuster Video devotes 10% of all profits to the Titanium Hymen Society.
27. 2001's California energy crisis was actually due to escaped Gremlins from San Francisco's Chinatown.
28. Lee Harvey Oswald fiercely resented Kennedy's hairline.
29. Pop Rocks and Pepsi killed grandpa
30. "Tourette's Syndrome" is just smart people having fun.
31. Frank Purdue suppressed irrefutable evidence that chickens compose hauntingly beautiful film scores.
32. Deployment of the International Space Station project has been delayed by the mischievous poltergeist of Christa MacAuliffe.
33. Alan Greenspan is an idiot savant who counts on his fingers.
34. Post-coital smoking killed the dinosaurs.
35. Nobody wins Lotto.
36. The Tooth Fairy resells molars at $3.50 a pop.
37. The Trix Rabbit uses reverse psychology to instill sugar-cereal-desire in children.
38. A gluttonous, drug addled, and enraged Elvis Presley choked to death while trying to swallow his slumbering wife Priscilla.
39. Department store animatronic Christmas displays are bristling with surveillance equipment.
40. While you're away, The FBI sneaks into your home and roots through your old Hustlers.
41. That wasn't Elizabeth Taylor accepting the 1960 Best Actress Academy Award - it was really a pill-popping J. Edgar Hoover in full drag.
42. Lyle Lovett was the inspiration for Chia Pets
43. Walt Disney personally rigged the Florida elections from his subterranean bunker far beneath Epcot Center.
44. A tipsy Richard Nixon took the famous photo of a naked John and Yoko cuddling in bed.
45. The Billboard Top 40 are determined by intense late-night games of "Rock, Paper, Scissors."
46. Watergate snitch "Deep Throat" and "Deep Throat" star Linda Lovelace were in fact one and the same.
47. Sportscaster Bob Costas is really cutting-edge claymation.
48. Hillary Clinton didn't kill Vince Foster. Chelsea did.
49. Barry Manilow didn't write the songs. He didn't even really sing them.
0
-
Almost none of these could be interpreted as conspiracies, but this one: 50. Eric Clapton pushed that kid out the window. is repugnant. His son fell from the apartment of his wife. Would you think it funny if I made a joke suggesting you murdered your child? 0 -
quote:46. Watergate snitch "Deep Throat" and "Deep Throat" star Linda Lovelace were in fact one and the same.
Is that a felacious or falacious statement? I get confused.[?]0 -
quote:Originally posted by ripley16
quote:46. Watergate snitch "Deep Throat" and "Deep Throat" star Linda Lovelace were in fact one and the same.
Is that a felacious or falacious statement? I get confused.[?]
No, it just "SUCKS".[;)]ie. Felatious..0 -
TOP 50 CONSPIRACY THEORIES
1. Ronald Reagan's second term was the inspiration for Weekend at Bernie's 2.
2. TWA Flight 800 landed safely... in 1954.
3. The noble gases of the periodic table are not noble at all, but a bunch of sleazy plasmas.
4. The "Director's Cut" version of The Ten Commandments includes four additional, never-before-seen commandments.
5. Procter & Gamble executives celebrate Satan's power by drinking flaming shots of Pantener
6. Princess Diana was assassinated by NAMBLA.
7. Sesame Street's Big Bird exudes an affable, nice-guy nature to conceal his true, deep-down, serial ritualistic murderer self.
8. Playing Eminem's Marshall Mathers EP backwards reveals an unabridged audio transcript of the Equal Rights Amendment.
9. Romans didn't kill Christ. The Klingons did.
10. Adolph Hitler enjoyed a lucrative post-war career as a corrupt Brazilian pool boy.
11. Everyone was afraid of Virginia Woolf - that's how she got published.
12. Delaware is a hallucination.
13. Steven Spielberg gets his "through the eyes of a child" inspirations by drinking the blood of children.
14. Chicago's water has been spiked with LSD since the '68 Democratic Convention.
15. Under cover of night, stealthy mobs of ninja homosexuals beautify your neighborhood.
16. PETA members routinely supplement their protein-deficient diets with steaming casseroles of human cuticles!
17. Strom Thurmond prefers "dark meat."
18. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman divorced over "divergent careers."
19. The Unabomber was driven to madness by Coleco Electronic Quarterback handheld football.
20. The women of MAXIM Magazine are painstakingly retouched, dewrinkled, deveined, and artificially thinned in Photoshop - PRIOR to having their pictures taken.
21. The mysterious CIA black helicopter squadron is commanded by Airwolf's Ernest Borgnine.
22. Corn kernels contain alien biosensors capable of passing through the body intact.
23. Log Cabin Republicans secretly coerced confirmation votes in support of John Ashcroft's hunky ass.
24. Bill Gates cheats on his wife by hacking in to teenaged girls' computers and reading their love poetry!
25. The amazing products of Ronco are actually surplus CIA technologies.
26. Blockbuster Video devotes 10% of all profits to the Titanium Hymen Society.
27. 2001's California energy crisis was actually due to escaped Gremlins from San Francisco's Chinatown.
28. Lee Harvey Oswald fiercely resented Kennedy's hairline.
29. Pop Rocks and Pepsi killed grandpa
30. "Tourette's Syndrome" is just smart people having fun.
31. Frank Purdue suppressed irrefutable evidence that chickens compose hauntingly beautiful film scores.
32. Deployment of the International Space Station project has been delayed by the mischievous poltergeist of Christa MacAuliffe.
33. Alan Greenspan is an idiot savant who counts on his fingers.
34. Post-coital smoking killed the dinosaurs.
35. Nobody wins Lotto.
36. The Tooth Fairy resells molars at $3.50 a pop.
37. The Trix Rabbit uses reverse psychology to instill sugar-cereal-desire in children.
38. A gluttonous, drug addled, and enraged Elvis Presley choked to death while trying to swallow his slumbering wife Priscilla.
39. Department store animatronic Christmas displays are bristling with surveillance equipment.
40. While you're away, The FBI sneaks into your home and roots through your old Hustlers.
41. That wasn't Elizabeth Taylor accepting the 1960 Best Actress Academy Award - it was really a pill-popping J. Edgar Hoover in full drag.
42. Lyle Lovett was the inspiration for Chia Pets
43. Walt Disney personally rigged the Florida elections from his subterranean bunker far beneath Epcot Center.
44. A tipsy Richard Nixon took the famous photo of a naked John and Yoko cuddling in bed.
45. The Billboard Top 40 are determined by intense late-night games of "Rock, Paper, Scissors."
46. Watergate snitch "Deep Throat" and "Deep Throat" star Linda Lovelace were in fact one and the same.
47. Sportscaster Bob Costas is really cutting-edge claymation.
48. Hillary Clinton didn't kill Vince Foster. Chelsea did.
49. Barry Manilow didn't write the songs. He didn't even really sing them.
50. DenVII is really a far right wing Conservative, but his wife won't let him tell anyone.0 -
I don't think I'd call any of those 'conspiracy theories' but would say that they are funny. [:D] 0 -
I don't think #50 is funny or in good taste.
It doesn't matter who you are the death of a child is not funny or entertaining.0 -
I don't believe anyone thinks that the death of a child is funny. I am also positive that Matty did not write this. It would not have made much sense to post the 50 biggest conspiracy theories with only 49 listed. Don 0 -
quote:30. "Tourette's Syndrome" is just smart people having fun.
That is what I have always been wondering[:D]0 -
quote:Originally posted by SaxonPig
I don't think #50 is funny or in good taste.
It doesn't matter who you are the death of a child is not funny or entertaining.
I thought the same thing. Not at all funny.0 -
quote:Originally posted by SaxonPig
I don't think #50 is funny or in good taste.
It doesn't matter who you are the death of a child is not funny or entertaining.
I went back and re-looked at it, and I think ya'll are right on this one.
50 should be gone.
I am taking it out and I apologize.
Copy and paste this apology because I'm not wrong often![:D]0 -
quote:Originally posted by mateomasfeo
quote:Originally posted by SaxonPig
I don't think #50 is funny or in good taste.
It doesn't matter who you are the death of a child is not funny or entertaining.
I went back and re-looked at it, and I think ya'll are right on this one.
50 should be gone.
I am taking it out and I apologize.
Copy and paste this apology because I'm not wrong often![:D]
I did. But you are. Don0 -
quote:Originally posted by mateomasfeo
quote:Originally posted by SaxonPig
I don't think #50 is funny or in good taste.
It doesn't matter who you are the death of a child is not funny or entertaining.
I went back and re-looked at it, and I think ya'll are right on this one.
50 should be gone.
I am taking it out and I apologize.
Copy and paste this apology because I'm not wrong often![:D]
matty, may I use this for my sig line?0 -
quote:Originally posted by tacking1
I went back and re-looked at it, and I think ya'll are right on this one.
50 should be gone.
I am taking it out and I apologize.
Copy and paste this apology because I'm not wrong often![:D]
matty, may I use this for my sig line?
[/quote]
I don't copyright my emails or posts, so if you want to, go for it.
Although I was hoping someone would use one of my more profound statements...0 -
That is some real class councelor, t[^]hanks. 0 -
quote:Although I was hoping someone would use one of my more profound statements...
That would require you to make one[:D][;)][:o)]0 -
quote:Originally posted by He Dog
That is some real class councelor, t[^]hanks.
No thanks needed, but appreciated anyway.
Ya'll know that when I think I am right I will fight until the blood runs out of my shoes. But a man who can't admit when he is wrong ain't much of a man.0 -
wait, when did you say something profound?
just funnin matt[}:)]0 -
quote:dcon12:
... because I'm not wrong often!
0 -
#45 ain't funny.
I'm convinced it's true.
Y'all ever listen to the top 40 these days?0
Please sign in to leave a comment.
Comments
19 comments