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Do I like the Boyfriend of my Daughter????........

Locust Fork
We all know how this goes..... She picks someone the parent can't stand. I get to listen to plans and plans and plans she has for them all of the time. I have to end my day collecting any and all phones throughout the entire house. I have to wake up early enough to see what she has planned to wear....and stay on top of each moment of the day where things might change pace.

Friday nites has been the "bowling nite"....so...when she comes in telling me that they got stuck in the mud. All four of the kids feet are messy. Ontop of that I am told that the boy's FATHER came to the scene and pulled the boy out of the car, punched this boy in the face....and then accused them of lying.


I knew something was fishy about their plans. I asked for them to send me a pics message so I could see where they were....but never got any pic!!! I don't know or really care to hear the details. I just want her to know that I am on top of these things and she isn't out-smarting me. I want her to have fun. I don't need to know where she is every minute of the day....just that she will not place herself in a situation that she should not be in.

I plan to call the dad to find out just why he got so upset with his son tonite? I just want to know if I have heard the whole story.
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Comments

44 comments

Date Votes
  • Colonel Plink
    Hey, and as an added bonus, you daughter is dating a guy who apparently comes from an abusive family!

    The hits just keep a rollin'.
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  • Blade Slinger
    Now son-in-law on the first couple of dates with my daughter was under the impression that I was a big teddy bear. Took his 6'3 245 lb long haired ass to the barn to show him the baseball bat that would change his life forever if he ever laied a hand or otherwise hurt my daughter. The fear of walking with a limp for the rest of his life seemed to get his attention.
    PS-worked to date, goin on ten yrs.
    Do I like him, hummmmmmmmmmmm somewhat.
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  • Fatstrat
    I don't know the specifics here, but her age has alot to do w/how much control you have over these things.
    My 18 yr old daughter is dating and evidently very serious about a 29 yr old. I'm not thrilled about it. But she is of legal age to make these decisions for herself.
    I foresee it going bad. The maturity levels are very different. I'm sure he gets tired of her "teeny bopper BS", but likes the hot young "you know what".
    I don't think she has the 1st clue of what a commited relationship in the real world is, and will eventally get bored of him.
    Just hope, for both of their sakes that she doesn't get knocked up.
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  • oldemagics
    any "dates" that show more than a couple times get informed that;
    1. my daughter knows how to break the wrist attached to any hand that lands where she doesnt want it...among other things...
    2. i may be grey, but im also the leather wearin, bike ridin, pistol packin s.o.b. momma SHOULD have warned ya to watch out for
    3. i do know a LOT of places where things would NEVER be found!
    and as one rather more intelligent fella observed..."your dad has a lot of guns, and i dont think he would be too afraid to use them"
    i still on occasion "swing by" where they say they are going since my job is on the road, my own daughter as well as my several "honerary" daughters are always pleased to see me cause they know i care for them and i usually get some cute young gal run up and give me a hug if i decide to actually be seen (drives other guys my age nuts trying to figure out how I rate! lol)
    and my daughter is 22!
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  • mr_floppy
    LF I have no children myself , but have heard the antics of nieces, nephews as well as godchildren and other teens.

    Did a quick search in google about "tracking children's locations" and the first 5 results provided articles from 2005 about tracking kids with GPS units hooked up to cars some thru OBDII and other stand alone units similar to what some business's use to track their servicemen and drivers on locations.

    If the technology was available to the public in 2005, by now it must be more available and should be cheaper now.

    A search on tracking children with cellphones, came up with

    http://www.wavemarket.com/products_page.php?product=1

    I looked thru the "sprint family locator demo" and perhaps this is something that may help you determine if you can trust your DD or that perhaps you need to be a bit more proactive with her. I'd be careful to not divulge the system to your child as this may be your ace in the hole in the future. They also mentioned some sort of an alert feature notification (for being in a "Banned area" ) this might be good if DD is visiting at some boys house that you have grounded her from. They also mentioned a "cookie trail" feature that you could view the routes traveled on a map.

    I think the original idea stuck in my mind when I read a story with a Private Investigator suggesting some cheap things a spouse could do for themselves (rather than hire a PI) if they suspected a spouse was cheating on them. Cell phones and call records can sometimes be a wonderful thing.



    Good Luck Just remember all the stupid things We all did as a teen's. There's a lot of things we did, even though we were warned to not do them.

    Teenagers, They know everything............. And we're idjits
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  • Fatstrat
    Boy aint that the truth. I see my kids doing ALOT of the same things I did. I survived, alot of my friends didn't. I try to give advice gained from experience. But they have to learn it themselves I guess.
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  • dongizmo
    quote:Originally posted by Locust Fork
    We all know how this goes..... She picks someone the parent can't stand. I get to listen to plans and plans and plans she has for them all of the time. I have to end my day collecting any and all phones throughout the entire house. I have to wake up early enough to see what she has planned to wear....and stay on top of each moment of the day where things might change pace.

    Friday nites has been the "bowling nite"....so...when she comes in telling me that they got stuck in the mud. All four of the kids feet are messy. Ontop of that I am told that the boy's FATHER came to the scene and pulled the boy out of the car, punched this boy in the face....and then accused them of lying.


    I knew something was fishy about their plans. I asked for them to send me a pics message so I could see where they were....but never got any pic!!! I don't know or really care to hear the details. I just want her to know that I am on top of these things and she isn't out-smarting me. I want her to have fun. I don't need to know where she is every minute of the day....just that she will not place herself in a situation that she should not be in.

    I plan to call the dad to find out just why he got so upset with his son tonite? I just want to know if I have heard the whole story.

    I would tell her next weekend she stays home, she could have just gone, taken the pic, sent it and went somewhere else, but you gave her a rule, and she broke it, now she should pay the piper.
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  • 1911a1-fan
    glad i have boys, my brother had 3 girls, i think i would die from a stress related heart attack, however we both agree that it is hard to find a boyfriend/girlfriend that you will like, my son dated this girl me and the wife could not stand, and was tickled to death when he dumped her after a year and a half, then the next was was liked very much.......until we got to know her, then the first one didn't look so bad after all

    i've always had this philosophy, as long as they have to hide something from you, inside they know it is wrong, sneaking out of a bowling alley or movie theater is a perfect example, the moment you condone it you loose control, my %$^# azz sister is a perfect example, she allowed all 3 of her boys to drink, AND SMOKE POT, her philosophy is like allot of dumb ass parents "there gonna do it anyway, so they might as well do it at home", now they all three have criminal records {possession etc.}

    each child is different, you have to find out where you and they are on the spectrum of control, and where ever you draw the line move it back just a tad allowing them room
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  • bhale187
    quote:Originally posted by dongizmo
    I would tell her next weekend she stays home, she could have just gone, taken the pic, sent it and went somewhere else, but you gave her a rule, and she broke it, now she should pay the piper.

    Absolutely!
    Unaddressed behavior is condoned behavior, Simple as that.
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  • Jacob2008
    quote:Originally posted by Locust Fork
    What is funny about all of this is that the DAD of the boyfriend seems to be the one to figure out they were lying first. I think they got the car stuck in the mud and he was called to help get the little crowd unstuck. From what I understand he pulled the little guy out of the car ripping his jacket and might have either slapped the boy....or maybe even punched him. He had a place on the side of his face. I don't know what was going on.

    I'm trying to find that middle ground....where she gets to be rewarded by having fun out with her friends. I just can't keep as tight of a hold on her anymore....it hasn't been working and we've been dealing with major problems because whatever we were doing was the wrong way to deal with her. I'm trying to let her go out some....but if she had told me she wanted to ride the streets with a carload of teens that would be a big-ole'-NO to that. I can't stand the way these teens drive.

    Jacob.....I would take her out, but after driving an hour home it is pretty late to be turning around and going out with a bunch of kids that don't want to be with you anyway.


    Oh, I didnt know the shop was that far.

    Boy would that stink if you forgot something at home!
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  • whiteclouder
    "And so the world turns."

    Clouder..
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  • jpwolf
    Without reading the rest of the replies yet, the first one....

    quote:The boyfriend obviously isn't scared of you enough!


    When I read the thread title and was opening, I thought, "Is he scared of you? Let's find out....."


    After reading the entire thread, I have to say that things promise only to get worse. God help you.
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  • Nighthawk
    Ive had parents attempt to pay me to inform them if and where I see their children when on Duty. I politely informed them I could not unless they committed a crime or was a danger to themselves or someone else. I then advised the parent to hire a PI if they felt their child were breaking house rules.
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  • oldemagics
    quote:Originally posted by 1911a1fan
    glad i have boys, my brother had 3 girls, i think i would die from a stress related heart attack, however we both agree that it is hard to find a boyfriend/girlfriend that you will like, my son dated this girl me and the wife could not stand, and was tickled to death when he dumped her after a year and a half, then the next was was liked very much.......until we got to know her, then the first one didn't look so bad after all

    BOY AINT THAT THE TRUTH!!!!
    every one of the sons great loves were real winners..some seemed fine at first till the mental condition showed true!
    i have found the best way to get it to end the fastest is to tell them the truth what i think of the person right off and then say no more...just a look with raised eyebrows on occasion when something is said or done when i am there.
    both kids know that no matter what i think PERSONALLY about their "date" it is their choice and i will not tell them either way (keep or throw back)
    unless something against house rules (or illegal) is done, they can see whom they choose
    it is when you say "dont see that one anymore" that they will do it for spite to prove you wrong...even if they are miserable through the whole thing!
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