Little Johnny

ironjohn929

January 29, 2008 07:04

>
> The
teacher asked the class to use the word
>"fascinate" in a
sentence.
>
> Molly put up her
hand and said, "My family
>went to my granddad's farm,
>
and we all saw his pet sheep. It
was
>fascinating."
>
> The
teacher said, "That was good, but I
>wanted you to use the
word
> "fascinate, not fas
cinating".
>
> Sally raised her
hand. She said, "My family
>went to see Rock City and
>
I was "fascinated."
>
> The
teacher said, "Well, that was good
>Sally, but I wanted you to use
the
> word
"fascinate."
>
> Little Johnny
raised his hand. The teacher
>hesita ted because she
had
> been burned by Little Johnny before. She
finally
>decided there was no way he
> could damage the
word "fascinate", so she called
>on
him.
>
> Johnny said, "My Aunt
Gina has a sweater
>with ten buttons, but her boobs are
>
so big she can only fasten
eight."
>
> The teacher sat down
and
cried.

0

• 

  ironjohn929

  January 29, 2008 07:04

  Little Johnny's next door neighbor had a baby.
  > Unfortunately, , the baby was born with no ears.
  > When they arrived home from the hospital, the new
  > parents invited Little Johnny's family over to see
  > the new baby.
  >
  > Little Johnny's parents were very afraid their son
  > would have a wise crack to say about the baby. So,
  > Little Johnny's dad had a long talk with Little
  > Johnny before going to the neighbors.
  >
  > He said, "Now son, that poor baby was born without
  > any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior
  > and not say one word about his ears, or I'm really
  > going to spank your butt when we get back home."
  >
  > "I promise not to mention his ears at all," said
  > Little Johnny.
  >
  > At the neighbors home Little Johnny leaned over the
  > crib and touched the baby's hand. He looked at
  > it's mother and said, "Oh what a beautiful little baby!"
  >
  > The mother, who had braced herself for Johnny's
  > comment, was pleasantly surprised and said, "Thank
  > you very much Little Johnny."
  >
  > He then said, "This baby has perfect little hands,
  > and perfect little feet. Why just look at his
  > pretty little eyes...Did the doctor say he can see good?"
  >
  > The mother said a bit bewildered, "Why yes...the
  > doctor said he has 20/20 vision, why do you ask?"
  >
  > Little Johnny said, "Well, it's a damn good
  > thing, 'cause he sure as hell can't wear glasses!!!"
  
  When Clinton left office they gave him a 21 gun salute. Its a damn shame they all missed....

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• 

  ironjohn929

  January 29, 2008 07:04

  Mr. Jones, the elementary school principal, made it a practice to visit the classes from time to time. One day he walked into Miss Sandy Smith's 4th grade class, where the children were studying American History. Mr. Jones asked the class how many states they could name.
  
  They came up with about 40 names. Miss Sandy Smith came up with four more.
  
  Not impressed, Mr Jones told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states.
  
  From the back of the room Little Johnny yelled, "Yeah, but in those days there were only 13!"

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