A lawyer and an engineer
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean.
The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."
"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."
The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked.
The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."
"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."
The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked.
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quote:Originally posted by drjew
"How do you start a flood?"
Damn rookies! It's easy - Post a picture of a car with guns on the hood!
http://forums.gunbroker.com/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=281077
[:D][}:)]0 -
Why don't Italians like Jehovah's Witnesses?
'Cause Italians do not like any witnesses.0 -
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and the talk turns to their adventures. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. "How did you end up with the peg leg?" he asks.
The pirate replies, "I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" says the seaman. "What about your hook?"
"Well," answers the pirate, "we were boarding a ship when one of the enemy hacked off my hand."
"Incredible!" says the seaman. "How'd you get the eye patch?"
"A sea gull poop in my eye," the pirate replies.
"You lost your eye to a sea gull dropping?" the seaman asks.
"Well," says the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook."0 -
quote:Originally posted by drjew
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean.
The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."
"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."
The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked.
I loved that one as a joke ,but that does not mean that I have forgotten about mateos tragic fire and his losses [V].0 -
[:D][:D][:D] 0 -
quote:Originally posted by kristov
quote:Originally posted by drjew
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean.
The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."
"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."
The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked.
I loved that one as a joke ,but that does not mean that I have forgotten about mateos tragic fire and his losses [V].
Thanks Kristov.
That was mighty nice of you.
And just when I was ready to poof this thread...
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sorry. I didn't know about Mateo's fire and losses. My house burned Dec. 22, 2000 and I lost everything. I just found it amusing. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by drjew
sorry. I didn't know about Mateo's fire and losses. My house burned Dec. 22, 2000 and I lost everything. I just found it amusing.
Dr. Jew, I knew you wouldn't have done that, so it didn't bother me.
BUT, I'm not a moderator..
Just kiddin' guys, you know like one might lovingly kid a cell mate!0 -
The joke is funny and of course I enjoyed the pairing of wicked lawyer and the honest engineer (which mirrors real life [;)]), but I was shocked by photos of the damage caused by mateomasfeo's tragic fire many months back. 0 -
This is my 500th post and it makes me proud to be an Registered Professional Engineer in GA, SC, KY and TX. 0 -
RR and JD were on their lunch break from their job in the saw mill in OH one day when RR said,
"JD, we gotta get better jobs. We can't work in a saw mill all our lives."
"How are we gonna find better jobs?" JD said,
" we need to get ourselves college degrees! JD, we're goin' ta college!"
So the next day they called in sick and drove down to College Station, where they each met an admissions counselor at OHIO STATE , home of the fighting chestnuts.
RR was sitting in the office with his counselor, who told him, "Well, son, I think you should start out taking courses in science, history, and logic."
"Logic?" RR asked, "what the hell's that?"
"Well I'll demonstrate," said the counselor. "Do you own a weed eater?"
"A weed eater? Yeah."
"Well, from the fact that you own a weed eater, I can assume that you have a yard."
"That's right."
"And from the fact that you have a yard, I assume that you own a house."
"Yeah, I do."
"From the fact you own a house, I presume that you have a wife."
"Betty Sue, that's right!"
"And from the fact that you have a wife, I can conclude that you're heterosexual."
"Wow!" said RR. "That's amazin'! I'm comin' to this school!"
RR stepped outside and ran into JD. "So what courses are you takin'?" JD asked.
RR said, "I'm takin' science, and history, and logic!"
"Logic?" JD asked. "What the hell's that?"
"I'll show you," said RR. "Do you own a weed eater?"
"No," said JD.
"You're queer, aintcha?0 -
This guy waiting in line at a bank is standing there. From behind this other guy starts massaging his shoulder in a very theraputic way. The guy in front turns around and says, "what the hell are you doing"? The guy from behind says, "oh i'm sorry, I couldn't helped noticing that you seem to look a little tense, and I just happen to be a chiropractor."
The guy replied, " big deal, I happen to be a lawyer, do you see me fu&%in' the guy in front of me"?0 -
Two old hunters were talking, when one asked the other " What chu feed your dogs?"
The other replied, "I feed my dogs turnip greens!"
"Whooo, my dogs wouldn't eat turnip greens." said the first.
" Mine wouldn't either.....for a month."0
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