Texas Cowboy
A West Texas cowboy was herding his cows in a remote
> pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards
> him.
> The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban
> sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I
> tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you
> give me a calf?"
>
> The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
> peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
>
> The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
> connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page
> on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to
> get
> an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite
> that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then
> opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image
> processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an
> email on his Palm Pilot that the
> image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL
> database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his
> Blackberry and, after a few
> minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color,
> 150-page
> report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns
> to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
>
> "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,"says the
> cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on
> amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
>
> Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you
> exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
>
> The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay,
> why not?"
>
> You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy.
>
> "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess
> that?"
>
> 1.. "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up
> here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I
> already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much
> smarter than me you are; and you don't know a damn thing about
> cows........
>
>
> Now give me back my dog."
> pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards
> him.
> The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban
> sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I
> tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you
> give me a calf?"
>
> The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
> peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
>
> The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
> connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page
> on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to
> get
> an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite
> that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then
> opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image
> processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an
> email on his Palm Pilot that the
> image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL
> database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his
> Blackberry and, after a few
> minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color,
> 150-page
> report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns
> to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
>
> "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,"says the
> cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on
> amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
>
> Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you
> exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
>
> The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay,
> why not?"
>
> You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy.
>
> "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess
> that?"
>
> 1.. "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up
> here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I
> already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much
> smarter than me you are; and you don't know a damn thing about
> cows........
>
>
> Now give me back my dog."
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A TEXAS cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked.
'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered.
'Once, on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off...or I'll kick the snot out of all of you!'
St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'
'Just a couple minutes ago...'[:0][8D]0 -
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[:D][:D][:D] 0 -
A South Dakota cowboy would have just kicked the poop outa all them and not said a word and walked away harharhar[;)] 0
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