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psychoanalyze your dog

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9 comments

  • dpmule
    I?ll simply say my Bride says my Jim who is an Idaho Shag is possessed.


    Mule
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  • spasmcreek
    most pets train their owners reasonably well.....
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  • dpmule
    spasmcreek wrote:
    most pets train their owners reasonably well.....
    My Jim listens and obeys my few commands,come, sit, down, load up, and stay is a work still in progress, but when Wife speaks to him, he cocks his head like he?s saying ?you talking to me, I only listen to the Bossman?.

    Mule
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  • Brookwood
    I may catch holy heck from any of the snowflake P\C crowd (not many here on GB) but a GOOD dog just wants to please his or her master. The sun rises and shines over the human master and sets there as well. The love shared between a GOOD dog and its master is unconditional. The human is adopted into the K-9 pack and is top dog (if the human does his part) of that pack.

    Within my lifetime, dogs have gone from chained up back yard dog house dwellers to much welcomed residence within the homes of the majority of their owners. It has become a punishable crime to treat dogs the way they were treated in the past. The magic of Capitalism has also proven itself with many insightful ideas bettering a dogs life to the tune of billions of dollars in the pockets of those that took those ideas to market. Dog lovers love to spend money on their pets! I don't mind folks with good ideas and hard work making a profit for such, but recently I have noticed a few adds online that totally piss me off.

    Ever hear of learning how to become a psychic so that you can communicate with your beloved late Cocker Spaniel? :o :x :( Talk about a SCAM looking for gullible fruitcakes!

    I myself, enjoy the company of my K-9 friends and have always had at least one most of my life. Many good times and memories spent with all and truly miss those that have gone on to Happy Mountain.
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  • montanajoe
    • Community moderator
    my dog does not identify as a dog. How should we proceed?
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  • KenK/84Bravo
    My dog (Buddy) has me completely wrapped around his paw.

    "I want to go out front, now I want to go out back, now I want to back out front." Etc.

    He is a great dog. I humor him, when I am home. If he wants to go out, he gets to go out.

    I believe he is "Psychoanalyzing," me. (Has psychoanalyzed me.)

    I come up as a patsy/pushover.
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  • spasmcreek
    MTANJO.......open a bank account in both yer names..when pooch has enuff get em to take u on a vacation......
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  • buschmaster
    montanajoe wrote:
    my dog does not identify as a dog. How should we proceed?

    if your dog self-identifies as a cat:

    put 30 cats in an empty dumpster. put your dog in with the cats. your dog will be cured.

    if your dog self-identifies as a squirrel:

    put 5 lbs of corn around a tree. stand 100 ft away with your dog on a leash. when the aquirrels come to eat the corn, the urge will take over to chase the aquirrel up the tree. repeat as necessary. soon your dog will realize he/she is not a squirrel. bonus points when the dog actually catches a squirrel.

    if your dog self-identifies as a barnyard animal:

    do not allow your dog to come into the house. at first this may seem to reinforce the notion that he/she is a barnyard animal, hanging around with them and sleeping with them, but when you only feed him/her chicken feed, pig slop, hay, oats, etc. your dog will get hungry for dog food and want to sleep on the couch, and realize the life of a barnyard animal sucks. your dog will discover that he/she is, in fact, a dog.

    if your dog self-identifies as a cow or a horse:

    going to get kicked. that won't last long. don't worry about it.

    if your dog self-identifies as a human:

    give your dog all the pizza, steak, ice cream, cookies, potato chips, steak, chili and hamburgers that he/she cares to eat. (just stay away from onions, grapes/raisins, chocolate, and artificial sweetener such as found in Gummy Beaars) take your dog for rides to the park, pet stores, dog shows, pool parties, ice cream socials, etc. also take them camping and to the lake, let them play with your children and snuggle with you and your wife. not so much for the dog, but for yourself; you won't have a better friend, and you can't do that with a dog that insists it's just a dog.
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  • austin20
    spasmcreek wrote:
    most pets train their owners reasonably well.....
    I heard that with my bad ear
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