What would you do?
Claudia & I have some good friends who took in a foster child when he was seven years old, and he?s now 14, a young man in all respects physically.
His original parents are serving time in prison for severe child abuse to him, and his siblings. When he was removed from them, he was found living in a closet, and at seven could only grunt.
Our friends have done a great job with him. While his development is arrested to some degree, he is very intelligent, but maturity is his short coming. He is still a young child when he doesn?t get his way.
Today he must have gotten into an argument with is Mom & Dad, because he sent me a text message out of the blue asking ?Can you guys take me in??
He has done this once before, but that time I think I just turned it over to his Dad to handle. This time I just texted him back and said,
?No, We are not set up for it. You need to set down with your Mom & Dad. Talk things out with them, pray on it, but respect your parents for what they are. Someone who when they didn?t have to took you in and offered you a second leash on life. God bless you.?
He just texted me back saying ?Ok thank u?.
I don?t know if he really want?s us to take him in, or if he?s just trying to put us between his Mom & Dad, but I?m not going to allow him to do it. He has to learn that he can?t just get mad & try and leave his home for another when he feels like it.
Now that being said, right now I could probably use his help around here, but I am not about to come between him & his parents. Somethings he hasn?t thought of is he?s in a foster home, and can?t just change his residence without their giving their blessing.
He really hasn?t put much thought into it. He would have to change school districts, he can?t bring his pets, the state might not approve of his living here (because I have so many guns... :? ), and bottom line I?ll be more strict then his parents are...
So what would any of you have said to him, or how would you have handled it?
Trinity +++
His original parents are serving time in prison for severe child abuse to him, and his siblings. When he was removed from them, he was found living in a closet, and at seven could only grunt.
Our friends have done a great job with him. While his development is arrested to some degree, he is very intelligent, but maturity is his short coming. He is still a young child when he doesn?t get his way.
Today he must have gotten into an argument with is Mom & Dad, because he sent me a text message out of the blue asking ?Can you guys take me in??
He has done this once before, but that time I think I just turned it over to his Dad to handle. This time I just texted him back and said,
?No, We are not set up for it. You need to set down with your Mom & Dad. Talk things out with them, pray on it, but respect your parents for what they are. Someone who when they didn?t have to took you in and offered you a second leash on life. God bless you.?
He just texted me back saying ?Ok thank u?.
I don?t know if he really want?s us to take him in, or if he?s just trying to put us between his Mom & Dad, but I?m not going to allow him to do it. He has to learn that he can?t just get mad & try and leave his home for another when he feels like it.
Now that being said, right now I could probably use his help around here, but I am not about to come between him & his parents. Somethings he hasn?t thought of is he?s in a foster home, and can?t just change his residence without their giving their blessing.
He really hasn?t put much thought into it. He would have to change school districts, he can?t bring his pets, the state might not approve of his living here (because I have so many guns... :? ), and bottom line I?ll be more strict then his parents are...
So what would any of you have said to him, or how would you have handled it?
Trinity +++
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I had an older friend take me in when my Dad and I were going through a rough patch. At the time he was living alone in a small mobile home at Wrightsville Beach. He was running a wrecking yard and we met over a love of motorcycles. Anyway he showed me my bedroom gave me a towel and told me I could stay for one week. That was almost 50 years ago and he is married and a large home has replaced the trailer. I still see him almost every Sunday standing outside his church with a small group offering bottles of water to runners and walkers doing "The Loop" at the beach. I have never forgotten that act of kindness when I was in need. 0 -
You done the right thing staying out of it. Give his parents a visit in the near future and just observe. 0 -
I would stay out of it, tell him to work things out like you did. school will be out soon, maybe you all can work out something over the summer break, he could stay with you a few weeks or month to give him and his folks a break from each other, keep in touch with each buy try to stay in middle. good luck 0 -
God Bless.
A difficult situation for all involved.
Kudos to the Foster Parents who took him in.
I am sure it has not been easy for them, trying to do a good deed.
Not sure I could do the same. Much RESPECT offered to them.0 -
My wife and i took in a friend of my daughters when she was homeless. Her Mom was messed up on drugs and my wife and i took her in. Between us we have 4 kids from other marriages.
We treated her like our own. When we bought school clothes she got the same as everyone else. When we buy something for 1 person everyone gets something. After about 1 year she started not coming in for curfew and her school grades dropped and she was skipping school.
She was doing things that if left unchecked would make things worse for our kids so i made the decision to send her to her grandmothers.
My wife cried for weeks if not longer. We gave her every chance and she would not do right. We had to cut her loose to save the other 4.
I know it tore my wife up for a long time.0 -
You back those foster parents 110%.
Its good he will talk to you- but he needs to learn to solve ?problems?, not move away from them.0 -
Just learned from a friend that he asked him too, and he turned him down also.
Evidently he wants FIVE rabbits that a kid down the street wants to give away. His parents said no, because he already has a dog, cat, some fish, and several Guiana pigs. My friend thinks that his parents will eventually give into him. I hope they don?t, but the only way his rabbits are coming to my house is in a freezer bag...
Trinity +++0 -
When you are a teen, EVERY THING is life or death drama.
OMIGOD- you did not let me buy those (insert fad of the week) MY LIFE IS OVER!!! I will never be able to show my face at school! I am going to run off and join a convent/foreign legion! How could you? WOE IS ME!!!
15 minutes later- What's for dinner?0
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