Different Types Of Strong

I have always had a strong pain level. I ran my first 5 k with the church at 6 or 7. The preacher at my Dads funeral brought that up. I had forgot about that.

I have broken fingers and hands playing ball and just tape them up and finish what i started.

However mental pain is a different story. I have memories that i try and keep buried so that i never think about them. I bury them so deep i do not even think about the person anymore no matter that we were best friends.

Maybe 1 or 2 times a year i might think of the person and what happened but mostly they stay buried.

I watched a documentary about disabled vets today and how medicine is saving more people than ever and how more people are coming home needing prosthetics.

I personally think i would fight until i bleed to death with 1 arm and no legs. However dont fix me up and send me home. I personally would not want to live after that. I can not imagine not walking and having my arms. I just cant see me moving past that. I might be wrong and could make it but i do not think so. Thats a different kind of tough that i do not think i have.

When i made NCO i had to go to NCO Leadership school and i ran into a problem when they were teaching when to surrender. I told them i would never surrender. The last bullet would be for me. My men could surrender that would be up to them when i made the call but i cant and will not live in a cage.

When people tell me about how many people died in the wars overseas and i tell them they are the lucky ones and people look at me like i am crazy. Then i tell them how many come home without arms and legs then they understand.

I served 10 years and would die for this country but coming home without my arms or legs to me is a no no. I know i am wrong its just how i feel. I do not want to have to depend on someone for everything all day everyday forever.

All i can say is God bless them.