Nothing Changes
Not a gun topic but maybe a guy's perspective can shed some light. Looking to get back into the dating scene I put myself out there on one of those dating sites to test the waters. Apparently honesty doesn't work. I'm not a simpering widow looking for a knight. I hunt, fish, love sports and own my stuff. I enjoy good food and good wine. Can't change who I am. I can't be a sissy girl. It's not in my nature. What's a woman to do?
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What's a woman to do? That's a loaded question if I've ever heard one. 0 -
Susie
I don't think as much with my d*** anymore - and have matured into the man I am now
Trophy's and scars and awards and baggage all factor
Makaila is a strong independent woman with a degree - works as a nurse - makes more money than I ever did - works long hours and multiple day tours in the hospital
I like strong women - it's a challenge and often like having a skilled sparring partner
Part of what we settled into was her trusting me enough to allow herself to relax and take a step back and let me take care of her or make decisions
I see that as her trusting and loving who I am - not her giving in to me or me being a dominant alpha male
I was honest and open when I was single - not a player or into games but looking for a partner to explore with
But only as I got older
Be yourself - they will like you and want to know more or they will pass or dissapoint
I was single for a long time and I managed to find someone - and what she found to be the best qualities were honesty and integrity
If I found someone for my ugly fat self than there is hope for all
Dating and dating sites are one way to meet - bar scene
But I think if you get into groups of folks involved in like minded activities were you can interact and learn a bit upfront than make a move you will be better off
And are you forward - because I damn near missed out by playing it safe and waiting to long
Show interest and affection - talk and flirt - do stuff together and in groups
All males are stupid ignorant sexist pigs who only think of sex - hit it and quit it
All men can control and temper those urges and meet you halfway
Talk to me - what else can I or others offer
Or if I offend than ignore or rebuff
Be you - don't hide who you are and how you got there
Mike0 -
quote:Originally posted by mrmike08075
Susie
I don't think as much with my d*** anymore - and have matured into the man I am now
Trophy's and scars and awards and baggage all factor
Makaila is a strong independent woman with a degree - works as a nurse - makes more money than I ever did - works long hours and multiple day tours in the hospital
I like strong women - it's a challenge and often like having a skilled sparring partner
Part of what we settled into was her trusting me enough to allow herself to relax and take a step back and let me take care of her or make decisions
I see that as her trusting and loving who I am - not her giving in to me or me being a dominant alpha male
I was honest and open when I was single - not a player or into games but looking for a partner to explore with
But only as I got older
Be yourself - they will like you and want to know more or they will pass or dissapoint
I was single for a long time and I managed to find someone - and what she found to be the best qualities were honesty and integrity
If I found someone for my ugly fat self than there is hope for all
Dating and dating sites are one way to meet - bar scene
But I think if you get into groups of folks involved in like minded activities were you can interact and learn a bit upfront than make a move you will be better off
And are you forward - because I damn near missed out by playing it safe and waiting to long
Show interest and affection - talk and flirt - do stuff together and in groups
All males are stupid ignorant sexist pigs who only think of sex - hit it and quit it
All men can control and temper those urges and meet you halfway
Talk to me - what else can I or others offer
Or if I offend than ignore or rebuff
Be you - don't hide who you are and how you got there
Mike
Dang, was that a Resume?[:D]0 -
No.
Trying to explain - I am a better man than when I was younger
And part of that is doing needful things to make up for failing to act in the past
Far from perfect - but I will claim better than I was and better than many others
Besides your not my type
Mike0 -
Susie
You might seek advice from oakie mom...
She has given me some tips and suggestions - the girls keep her last two cards in a small hope chest
She set me straight on some stuff and praised me on others
84bravo is single and has a dog...
Mike0 -
And in case you did not know Makaila is a widow - so I have some insight on that dynamic
And I know we have some good guys here who can school us both
Mike0 -
Well I'm a widower, too bad you don't live closer to me[:p][:D] 0 -
Get yourself out and about with like minded people. Hit the range for some IDPA, USPSA, trap, skeet, etc. type matches. Attend a church social or some such. You have a unique product to sell, yourself. You have to get your product in front of prospective buyers in order to close the deal. (That sounds a LOT worse when I read it out loud than it did in my head when I wrote it!!!)[:o)] You know what I mean![:D] 0 -
Patience and maybe a different site. Obviously their is the right person for you out there just takes the one right connection.
After Dad died my mother engaged in groups of like minded people, if that is perhaps a fishing club, or shooting range membership, group outings, I don't know your age but senior centers Etc.0 -
Most of us have only two eyes, but some of us seem to have all I,s. 0 -
I always told my daughter, "Its a lot like deer hunting. You gotta look for the deer you want in the places where that deer hangs out. Trophy bucks don't hang with the does and little bucks. He is in the thicket up on the mountain or in the swamp and he ain't going to come looking for you."
She always did her "hunting" in bars and rock concerts. I suggested she check the thickets at the hospital, church, military, college, etc. She didn't listen to me, btw.
Set the bar and do not compromise. That big buck is out there but you will never bag him unless you pass up a lot of lesser bucks.0 -
My only advice I offer is:
Don't Settle.
Too many women, both young and old tend to settle for someone they wouldn't normally be overly interested in once they begin to get frustrated.
Everyone deserves to be happy.
Best of luck to you, Susie
Ed0 -
Starting relationships in our 50's is a different world. Patience and realistic expectations are required.
You may join some groups that interest you to meet people of like interest. Examples:
If you ride horses join a riding club.
Shoot skeet or trap, join a club.
Some men tend to avoid widows. The reason is they think, in the widows eyes, they will never measure up to their deceased husband and no man wants to be second. Myself, my first thought is, she stuck with her husband, that's a worthy trait. In our fifties most of the ladies are divorced and from my experience it's easy to tell it's not always the ex-husbands fault.
Be yourself, a women doesn't have to be a sissy girl to be a lady. Someone will recognize that in you. You just have to be patient to find them and then, of course, he has to be someone that interest you. It's a narrow field, for most us, and it takes patience.0 -
Barz's advice is good. In my experience both personal and observed, If you are lonely and needy you put out a needy vibe that puts people off. Get involved in things you love and like, volunteer at the local gun show to work gun check or selling tickets. If you are a church person, get involved. Take a class on wine, or a class on cooking, or a class to get your CCW permit. Do things. When you are involved you will be noticed and likely make connections, either to good new friends or Mr. Right. Here is a clue: Mr. Perfect is not Mr. Right.[;)] 0 -
Get out there... steer clear of bars.. Don't be shy.. if you see someone that looks or is available go up to them. Your call. And if you get lucky.. forget the guy wanting to take you out here and there. Cook him a normal meal and get their results. And for sakes.. run a background check.. 0 -
Shoot me an email at lharden49@mail.com
if you want.
You have to be VERY CAREFUL for sure !!!!
quote:Originally posted by susie
Not a gun topic but maybe a guy's perspective can shed some light. Looking to get back into the dating scene I put myself out there on one of those dating sites to test the waters. Apparently honesty doesn't work. I'm not a simpering widow looking for a knight. I hunt, fish, love sports and own my stuff. I enjoy good food and good wine. Can't change who I am. I can't be a sissy girl. It's not in my nature. What's a woman to do?0 -
Thank you for the kind words Mike .
I do what I think is right, just like my Mom taught me.
Sometimes it helps and some times it gets me in TROUBLE !!!!
quote:Originally posted by mrmike08075
Susie
You might seek advice from oakie mom...
She has given me some tips and suggestions - the girls keep her last two cards in a small hope chest
She set me straight on some stuff and praised me on others
84bravo is single and has a dog...
Mike0 -
Oakie mom
You knew I was courting a much younger widow who had also lost her child...
Your advice on how to treat her meant a lot - your advice on how to stay together as well
Mike0 -
I feel your pain.
I would love to meet a Quality, no BS/Games Woman.
I pretty much keep to myself, mind my own business, and work my Job.
Intelligent, articulate, well read, sense of humor, independent, self confident. (Do not feel the need to go on.)
My House is paid for, my vehicles are close to being paid for. My bills are paid.
I do not do the Internet thing, nor do I hang out in Bars looking for a hookup.
A Quality Guy, waiting patiently for a Quality Woman.
Sigh..................................................................0 -
quote:Originally posted by 84Bravo1
I feel your pain.
I would love to meet a Quality, no BS/Games Woman.
I pretty much keep to myself, mind my own business, and work my Job.
Intelligent, articulate, well read, sense of humor, independent, self confident. (Do not feel the need to go on.)
My House is paid for, my vehicles are close to being paid for. My bills are paid.
I do not do the Internet thing, nor do I hang out in Bars looking for a hookup.
A Quality Guy, waiting patiently for a Quality Woman.
Sigh..................................................................
Ken, every time Chris Street and I talk, your name always comes up. Usually he is the nicest guy on the forums or something about tacos[:D]0 -
quote:Originally posted by susie
Not a gun topic but maybe a guy's perspective can shed some light. Looking to get back into the dating scene I put myself out there on one of those dating sites to test the waters. Apparently honesty doesn't work. I'm not a simpering widow looking for a knight. I hunt, fish, love sports and own my stuff. I enjoy good food and good wine. Can't change who I am. I can't be a sissy girl. It's not in my nature. What's a woman to do?
Well if you want the country life style I have 60 acres, a few chickens, lots of turkey's and deer to hunt. Plus I have an airplane to go see God's beautiful world from a different prospective. [:D] Interested? [:)]0 -
Susie, I married a sissy girl when I was 18. Divorced her ass at 19[xx(] Married my current wife at 20. Donna is a farm girl. Loves to fish, skin deer, has her own boat(I hate boats), digs in the dirt, rides horses, and does anything a man can do !!!!! Most men want a woman that is not afraid to help out or do the things we do. Yeah, we like a soft side in bed, but that's about it, in my case. A trophy wife or (Sissy) girl, is just that. A woman a man hangs off his arm at the country club. Most men our age,(50+), want a real woman. To be his companion, best friend and soul mate. There are quite a few nice guys out there, just let it come naturally. It will happen when you least expect it. Stay away from the moochers and guys that are not financially stable, at this point. I hope you find all the happiness in the world, as you deserve it. Oak
PS. If my wife passes before me, I just want to live the rest of my life in peace, with a good hunting dog. I will never, NEVER, marry again. That is just me though. I like being a Loner. Besides, I'm a real pain in the ass to get along with[;)]0 -
quote:Originally posted by Oakie
quote:Originally posted by 84Bravo1
I feel your pain.
I would love to meet a Quality, no BS/Games Woman.
I pretty much keep to myself, mind my own business, and work my Job.
Intelligent, articulate, well read, sense of humor, independent, self confident. (Do not feel the need to go on.)
My House is paid for, my vehicles are close to being paid for. My bills are paid.
I do not do the Internet thing, nor do I hang out in Bars looking for a hookup.
A Quality Guy, waiting patiently for a Quality Woman.
Sigh..................................................................
Ken, every time Chris Street and I talk, your name always comes up. Usually he is the nicest guy on the forums or something about tacos[:D]
I am humbled Sir.0
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