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When You Can't Read, The World is a Mystery

p3skyking
When I was like 4 or 5, I watched TV. Black and white of course.
Since I couldn't read yet, I would look at the pictures and listen to the words

The pictures that would form in my minds eye was often perplexing. Here are some of the words that confused me.

Bear Aspirin: Was this the kind Yogi and Smokey took?

Water Burger: Maybe Mike Nelson would like it, but I wanted a hamburger

Marx Bros; Groucho and Harpo decided to make toys instead of movies?

Duncan Yo-Yo Return Top: That's not a top. A top has a metal point it spins on.

God bless my parents for having the patience to explain things to me.

Only one time did my folks ever give me bum gouge. Mom was an RN so she was on equal footing with my pop with me as far as explaining scientific stuff. I asked her what a mammal was? Bear in mind I was a precocious five year old. Her answer confused me for the next eight years. "They have their babies out of their butt".

Alabama had no sex education so in the school library, what the books were telling me didn't jibe with what mom told me. Years later I told her that story and she, my wife, and I had a good ole laugh.

Moral of this story, NEVER BS A LITTLE KID, JOKE, BUT BEFORE THE SUN GOES DOWN, TELL HIM THE TRUTH (before the BS is set is his memory banks). [:p]
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Comments

9 comments

Date Votes
  • 11b6r
    At about the same age I wanted an ammy. It was a beautiful place, beaches, palm trees. The guy on tv had one, and was always bragging about how beautiful it was today in "my ammy".
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  • fordsix
    i lernt to read on MAD magazine [^]
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  • Brookwood
    Back in those days, if not for National Geographic magazines stacked high in my grandpa's closet, I would not have learned a thing about mammals![:D]
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  • wpage
    Agree, and yet world seems to be still unknown to the ignorant.
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  • spasmcreek
    there are many Alfred E Newmans in the world ...unfortunately many are in congress and your HOA
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  • allen griggs
    Yes, 116br!
    I was a little kid in Atlanta, my neighbors went down to Florida for vacation.
    Little 5 year old Mike came back, and was talking about what a great time he had in "my ammi."

    It sounded great, palm trees, beaches etc. I didn't know what the hell I was talking about but I said "I have an ammi, too."
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  • Don McManus
    I do not have memories prior to being able to read.

    Big brother began reading when I was four, and I apparently could not let him be ahead of me. Sure, it was just Dr. Seuss and Curious George to start with, but it brought with it the need to know what was printed upon every sign.

    Pops would query us as to why the bottle of ketchup was supposed to be 'kept under refrigerator', challenging us to look at the label and discover his error.

    Discussions of the topics on the front page of the newspaper began at age 6 or so at the dinner table, with proper deference given to the wanderings of a youthful mind, but with steady guidance as to the meaning of what was printed.

    Had a falling out with pops the last 10 years or so of his life, but I will always appreciate the time and effort he put into filling up the vacuums that were our young skulls.
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  • grumpygy
    Try Having a Parent who cannot read and then tell me about it.
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  • Brookwood
    For me, it was all about the goings on with Dick, Jane, & Sally!

    They talked kind of funny even for a 6 year old. All that repetition!
    Being a dog lover from an early age, Spot could run, run, run, all day long![:)]
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