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Been awhile for some corny jokes

savage170
After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another
woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail,
I can honestly say it was worth it !



Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking
for some action!" I've sent her my
ironing. That'll keep her busy!



My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet
while she cooked the dinner, so I took the batteries out of
the smoke alarm!



Anyone got an owner's manual for a wife? Mine's
giving off a terrible whining noise!



My wife apologized for the first time ever today. She said
she's sorry she ever married me!



My wife said I needed to be more in touch with my feminine
side, so I crashed the car, burnt the dinner and ignored her
all day for no reason!



Things turned really ugly at my house last night. The wife
removed her makeup!



My wife shouted at me this morning for not opening the car
door for her. I would have, but I was too busy swimming to
the surface!
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Comments

21 comments

Date Votes
  • He Dog
    Not long enough apparently.[}:)]
    0
  • Horse Plains Drifter
    [:D][:D][:D]
    0
  • remingtonoaks
    [:D]
    0
  • grdad45
    quote:Originally posted by tommyjoe
    Sounds like Roger Dangerfield.[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]
    Tom

    "Take my wife. Please!" [:D]
    0
  • glyn
    [:D][:D]
    0
  • yonson
    It was Rodney Dangerfield, and "take my wife, please" was Henny Youngman. Just sayin' - I know, picky, picky. Good corn, though.
    0
  • SW0320
    "My wife shouted at me this morning for not opening the car
    door for her. I would have, but I was too busy swimming to
    the surface"!

    I think this was taken from Teddy Kennedy.
    0
  • select-fire
    [:)]
    0
  • dav1965
    [:)][:)][:)][:)][:)]
    0
  • kimi
    Now those were funny! Thanks for the chuckles!!!!!! [:D][:D][:D]
    0
  • TooBig
    [:D][:)][8D][B)]
    0
  • Ford 23
    [:D][:D][:D]
    0
  • Cornflk1
    quote:Originally posted by tommyjoe
    Sounds like Roger Dangerfield.[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]
    Tom


    YES !
    0
  • austin20
    [:D]
    0
  • givette
    Two flies are sitting on a pile of schitt.

    ....one fly farts.

    The other says "dammit, man, can't you see I'm eating?"

    [:0][:0]
    0
  • Mr. Perfect
    quote:Originally posted by savage170
    After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another
    woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail,
    I can honestly say it was worth it !



    Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking
    for some action!" I've sent her my
    ironing. That'll keep her busy!



    My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet
    while she cooked the dinner, so I took the batteries out of
    the smoke alarm!



    Anyone got an owner's manual for a wife? Mine's
    giving off a terrible whining noise!



    My wife apologized for the first time ever today. She said
    she's sorry she ever married me!



    My wife said I needed to be more in touch with my feminine
    side, so I crashed the car, burnt the dinner and ignored her
    all day for no reason!



    Things turned really ugly at my house last night. The wife
    removed her makeup!



    My wife shouted at me this morning for not opening the car
    door for her. I would have, but I was too busy swimming to
    the surface!

    How you been Gary?[:)]
    0
  • danielgage
    [:D][:D]
    0
  • montanajoe
    • Community moderator
    [:D][:D][:D]
    0
  • roswellnative
    [:D][}:)][8D]
    0
  • Horse Plains Drifter
    givette, great to see ya post! Be great if ya'd stick around.
    0
  • AzAfshin
    [:D][:D][:D][:D]

    Missed your daily jokes.
    0

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