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Priceless

select-fire
The Good Husband
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his
company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker,
but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't
even remember how he got home from
the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did
something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first
thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of
water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red
rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him,
all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees
that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the
rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye
staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices
a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red
with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in
lipstick:
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get
groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love
you, darling! Love, Jillian"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot
breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating.
Jack asks, "Son... What happened last night?" "Well, you
came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell
over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in
the hallway, and got that black eye when
you ran into the door.
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such
perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is
on the table waiting for me??"
His son replies, "Oh, THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,
"Leave me alone, I'm married!!"


Broken Coffee Table $239.99
hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time ...
"Priceless!"
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Comments

12 comments

Date Votes
  • select-fire
    A man woke up at home with a huge hangover. He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw were a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sat down and saw his clothing in front of him, clean and ironed.

    He looked around the room and saw that it was in perfect order, spotless and clean. So was the rest of the house.

    He took the aspirins and noticed a note on the table, which read: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to go shopping. Love you."

    So he went to the kitchen and, sure enough, there was a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son was also at the table, eating.

    The man asked the son,"What happened last night?"

    His son replied, "Well, you came home after 3 a.m., drunk and delirious. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."

    Confused, the man asked, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

    His son replied, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, 'Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!'"

    A self-induced hangover - $100.00
    Broken furniture - $200.00
    Breakfast - $10.00
    Saying the right thing - Priceless
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  • mag00
    Now that's funny. [:D]
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  • montanajoe
    • Community moderator
    [:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]
    0
  • gjshaw
    [:D][:D]
    0
  • spasmcreek
    +++++++++++++
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  • Brookwood
    [:D] His other "Kitty" is much prettier! Black with white stripes![:0]
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  • select-fire
    They both looked stoned
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  • droptop
    Liked that photo, saved it as cats_rescue_doper. [:D]
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  • roswellnative
    (Like)
    0
  • TooBig
    [:D][:p][^]
    0
  • bullshot
    [:D][:D][:D]
    0
  • toad67
    LMAO...[:D][:D]
    0

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