Hello - status update and random thoughts
My routine - my struggle towards some level of recovery has been hard
I "graduated" from a basic orthopedic physical therapy and recovery program to a more focused and intensive scheme that takes place in an actual full service gym / health club that is connected to complex that holds most of my doctors and specialists
I do a few one hour sessions each week - a combination of exercises meant to counter act the vertigo and balance issues as well as sets and reps designed to teach me how to walk again
It does not appear that the vertigo and balance issues will be resolved and it does not appear that the neuropathy in my legs will improve so the game now is to learn to function despite the vertigo and nerve damage and pain
The woman who is my primary coach / trainer / specialist is a marine in her late twenties missing the left leg above the knee from an RPG hit in the rockpile - she is missing two fingers on her left hand and while it's not obvious she is dealing with a speech impediment issue
She has very little body fat - and while not jacked up has amazing muscle tone and is super fit - she has two younger assistants that work with her - both attractive young women
There is some strength training and treadmill or stationary bike time and some speed walking with weights (they will not let me job or run as i push things to hard and end up blacking out or collapsing
There is ballet and yoga involved which is very difficult for me - and after each session I end up crippled with pain and have limited functionality and range of motion or ability for about 36 hours
The current school of thought is to load me up with pain meds on my recovery days between sessions - and to try to focus on sleep and calorie intake while trying to maintain a basic level of mobility and functionality
The pain and vertigo and loss of balance and nerve damage and nausea / lack of appetite makes the recovery days between sessions very difficult and less fun
My muscle development and and body mass index numbers continue to improve
These sessions are torture - they are filled with pain and are a constant reminder of how badly damaged my body is
On off days I try to maintain a schedule of some normal basic activity around the house like doing laundry or taking care of the animals or cooking for the girls and trying to complete simple projects (sometimes as little as reading or doing the crossword puzzles - sometimes more complicated if I am able)
There are several days each week were the pain and recovery limit me greatly and cause some depression and despair
I do get to work with some kids who have lost limbs to cancer - they ask me to help out with the pediatric oncology cases because they seem to believe I have a talent for it and say I make a connection with the kids
I desperately want to be rid of the pain meds and am unhappy that they have increased the potency and frequency - but they insist that if I want to advance my recovery the schedule 3 meds must be used
A friend dropped off a gift / project for me to work on - a Walther toggle lock action semiautomatic tube fed shotgun - I am assured that the parts are all there but the previous owner completely detail stripped and disassembled it and could not put it together again
I admit I don't know much about it but I looks like a fun project puzzle
I will try to check in more often - I have been physically and mentally drained and wiped out - and when the pain has been bad I have been retreating to sleep or reading
The work of recovery is hard - so very hard and painful and debilitating and can lead to depression
It's a struggle most days and I often wonder if I have the strength or fortitude to continue
I have been taking a small compound bow and the Gill hibbens and a fienwerkbau Olympic level target pellet pistol out into the back yard once a week for about an hour to try to maintain those skills and use them as hand eye coordination exercises
It appears that it will take quite awhile to put humpty dumpty back together again - assuming that it's possible.
Please feel free to ask questions or make inquiries and I will try to respond...
Mike
I "graduated" from a basic orthopedic physical therapy and recovery program to a more focused and intensive scheme that takes place in an actual full service gym / health club that is connected to complex that holds most of my doctors and specialists
I do a few one hour sessions each week - a combination of exercises meant to counter act the vertigo and balance issues as well as sets and reps designed to teach me how to walk again
It does not appear that the vertigo and balance issues will be resolved and it does not appear that the neuropathy in my legs will improve so the game now is to learn to function despite the vertigo and nerve damage and pain
The woman who is my primary coach / trainer / specialist is a marine in her late twenties missing the left leg above the knee from an RPG hit in the rockpile - she is missing two fingers on her left hand and while it's not obvious she is dealing with a speech impediment issue
She has very little body fat - and while not jacked up has amazing muscle tone and is super fit - she has two younger assistants that work with her - both attractive young women
There is some strength training and treadmill or stationary bike time and some speed walking with weights (they will not let me job or run as i push things to hard and end up blacking out or collapsing
There is ballet and yoga involved which is very difficult for me - and after each session I end up crippled with pain and have limited functionality and range of motion or ability for about 36 hours
The current school of thought is to load me up with pain meds on my recovery days between sessions - and to try to focus on sleep and calorie intake while trying to maintain a basic level of mobility and functionality
The pain and vertigo and loss of balance and nerve damage and nausea / lack of appetite makes the recovery days between sessions very difficult and less fun
My muscle development and and body mass index numbers continue to improve
These sessions are torture - they are filled with pain and are a constant reminder of how badly damaged my body is
On off days I try to maintain a schedule of some normal basic activity around the house like doing laundry or taking care of the animals or cooking for the girls and trying to complete simple projects (sometimes as little as reading or doing the crossword puzzles - sometimes more complicated if I am able)
There are several days each week were the pain and recovery limit me greatly and cause some depression and despair
I do get to work with some kids who have lost limbs to cancer - they ask me to help out with the pediatric oncology cases because they seem to believe I have a talent for it and say I make a connection with the kids
I desperately want to be rid of the pain meds and am unhappy that they have increased the potency and frequency - but they insist that if I want to advance my recovery the schedule 3 meds must be used
A friend dropped off a gift / project for me to work on - a Walther toggle lock action semiautomatic tube fed shotgun - I am assured that the parts are all there but the previous owner completely detail stripped and disassembled it and could not put it together again
I admit I don't know much about it but I looks like a fun project puzzle
I will try to check in more often - I have been physically and mentally drained and wiped out - and when the pain has been bad I have been retreating to sleep or reading
The work of recovery is hard - so very hard and painful and debilitating and can lead to depression
It's a struggle most days and I often wonder if I have the strength or fortitude to continue
I have been taking a small compound bow and the Gill hibbens and a fienwerkbau Olympic level target pellet pistol out into the back yard once a week for about an hour to try to maintain those skills and use them as hand eye coordination exercises
It appears that it will take quite awhile to put humpty dumpty back together again - assuming that it's possible.
Please feel free to ask questions or make inquiries and I will try to respond...
Mike
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Had a CT scan (chest - abdomen - pelvis - with contrast) early this morning...
Had labs and blood draws and port maintenance afterwards...
For those that may be unaware - your only option is not the ready cat shakes (which I find vile and nauseating) - they also have a water soluble / clear water / cold water prep that is much easier to imbibe
If you ask the nurses or techs in the radiation imaging department they may allow you to choose this option - must be mixed and dispensed by them (so you would need to arrive early and drink it before hand)
I spent 3 hours visiting and volunteering on the pediatric oncology ward - wanted to do more but don't have the stamina yet...
They just installed a soft serve ice cream dispenser (chocolate or vanilla or swirl) with cones and cups and bowls that was donated anonymously and it seems to be a big hit with the kids
We had about a dozen turkeys in the yard this morning around 5:00 am including one massive old Tom - the biggest male wild turkey I have ever seen
The dog started to slow and low crawl creep and stalk them when the Tom turned and presented - a full fan feather display - chest all puffed up - squalking away angrily and holding his ground
The dog paused and barked / yipped 3 times while looking back at me - I pointed at the Tom and said go get him - and he rocketed off in pursuit
They all got away - but I have half a dozen reply nice tail feathers to show off
The hedgehog is quilling so he is a bit irritated
https://youtu.be/6RuFUy_7CmM
Flex seal shotgun round - anybody tried this out yet???
Mike0 -
God bless you Mike. As much as the pain hurts,it's a strong reminder that you are still alive! Stay strong and continue improving. 0 -
I can't even imagine. You're truly inspirational, Mike, and I wish you the best. Be sure to check in when you can. 0 -
Hang in there Mike. You have an awful lot of us pulling for you, thinking about, and Praying for you on a daily basis Brother. 0 -
I had no neuropathy issues or nerve damage prior to the treatment regimen used to battle my end stage terminal cancer
The capecitabine and platinum based oxiplatinum metal coordination compounds used in chemotherapy caused the issue
The intensive high dosage therapy of last resort they used to attack my advanced aggressive rapid growth rate malignant neoplasm / massive tumor with lymph node involvement was a high potency and high frequency (no down time or off time or recovery periods) is the direct cause of the nerve damage
Since 99%+ of patients with my cancer diagnosis die rather quickly and painfully they chose this little used chemo regimen of last resort in an attempt to buy me some time
This regimen is not used much and is little understood because so few people survive and because the side effects are so brutal
It's usually a race between the cancer and the treatment killing you first
As a result there is not much case study data or anecdotal observational data on how to put me back together or treat the greatly magnified and abnormally persistent and damaging side effects
Mike0 -
So glad to hear of Your Progress, Mike!
You are My Shining Example of Toughness. Thanks!
Sending You good thoughts!0 -
Mike, you do have talent; you have a talent for helping others while you suffer horribly, you have a talent of putting thoughts into printed words, you have a talent for life. We are all better for it! THANK YOU. 0 -
https://breakthruptfitness.com
The ballet related training and physical recovery therapy is performed under the auspices of this program - my therapist is certified and / or cross trained through them in addition to her other certifications and her degree
It's mostly balance and movement transition training along with fitness and muscle development
They also tell me the ballet and yoga have a meditative effect
I am told pro athletes use it - boxers and wide receivers and mixed martial artists
The sessions are hard - they really push the limits - I have had to be taken to the lobby / my car in a wheel chair several times
They are very unhappy with my pain levels but I refuse to allow it to stop me from moving forward
It's just so hard
Mike0 -
Hang in there Mike. It's good to see you posting.
Sorry about the increase in pain meds.0 -
Come on mike , we need you to keep pushing!
Ros0 -
There are days when it seems meaningful and important to continue to try to recover and to regain some semblance of who I was and how I lived...
There are other days were it feels like a futile exercise with no end in sight.
Pushing physical therapy to the point I collapse and have to be escorted out in a wheelchair and spend the next few days barely functional and in great pain despite massive doses of pain meds is no fun.
If I don't push - if it's not hard and pain inducing I will gain no ground - or lose some of what I have worked for.
Sometimes it's hard and I am tired.
Mike0
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