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Awkward memorial service

beneteau
The wife of my oldest and dearest friend passed away July 9. I was best man at their wedding in 1965. He is like a brother I never had. I married her sister the following year, 1966, so I know her entire family. She divorced me about 22 years later.

The memorial service is this coming Saturday and, I know, my current wife will feel awkward only knowing a few people most, of which, I haven't seen in many years. A lot of old school mates will be there, also. Kinda be glad when all of this is over.
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Comments

13 comments

Date Votes
  • spasmcreek
    she needn't go....i wouldn't expect my wife to get in the middle of the other two ....in any situation
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  • Mr. Perfect
    Sounds like an uncomfortable situation for sure. Like spasmcreek said, your wife doesn't have to go, but I think if it were me, I'd take her and just sit and stay with her most of the time. Console your friend and let him know you'll support him as he grieves and then wall flower as much as possible.
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  • Brookwood
    I have been to more funerals "stag" than as a married couple in all of the 44 years me and the Mrs. have been together.

    My wife hates funerals and gets panic attacks at most she attends. I understand her plight and have no problem going alone.
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  • yoshmyster
    It's a funeral not a party. Are they Irish? Then after an hour it won't matter if you're the odd ball out.

    Also they're your friends so you might wanna leave the current wife at home. Unless you're looking to show her off.
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  • droptop
    Where I am everyone on the block is expected to attend the funeral. Makes no difference if you knew them or not.

    A sign of disrespect if you don't go or else a sign of being a "clueless" foreigner.

    I've never been to funeral in the United States. Not even family.
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  • spasmcreek
    mostly quit funerals and go to the viewings and visit with those i know and say my respects & goodbyes....no long winded preacher
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  • shilowar
    quote:Originally posted by spasmcreek
    mostly quit funerals and go to the viewings and visit with those i know and say my respects & goodbyes....no long winded preacher


    I'm with you...pay my respects and leave...
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  • armilite
    I went to my dads brothers funeral service last Monday night. My wife didn't go. She only met some of my cousins at previous funerals so I told her to stay home. It was awkward enough going and seeing cousins that I hadn't seen since the last funeral when ever that was. It was bad enough there were relatives (younger) that I never met. Once I got there I was fine and actually enjoyed the time there, especially at the end of the service when everyone stood up and sang all 3 verses of the Marine Corp Hymn.
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  • bobski
    you pay your respects to the dead.
    not the guests.
    do whats required of you to be a good friend and American and skip the drama.
    you visit the casket, watch him go in the ground, go home, and reflect.
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  • bobski
    you pay your respects to the dead.
    not the guests.
    do whats required to be a good friend and American and skip the drama.
    you visit the casket, watch it go in the ground, go home, and reflect.
    your wife represents you. shes your flesh. she should go.
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  • p3skyking
    I don't see it as awkward. You're not there to socialize with your ex. Made me thing of an old joke.





    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

    They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
    [:p]
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  • Don McManus
    I have pretty much stopped going to funerals.

    As bobski stated, you pay your respects to the dead. If there are family and friends that would benefit from conversation with you, there is plenty of time before or after the funeral.

    The dead will not know or care if you are there. If there is an afterlife, he or she would most likely know your intent. If there is not, it doesn't matter at all.
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  • Big Sky Redneck
    I?m only 48 but I have been to far too many funerals, way too many. People my age, friends and family, military, peacefull Lutheran to extreme Baptist.

    Except for the military funerals there is really no rule book, it is more defined by the deceased and how he/she is remembered. The Baptist funeral turned into a revival, Catholic and Lutheran is more of a church service and military of course is a planned ?event?.

    But of there is one common factor in all of them it is a time when differences are put aside, barriers are lowered and folks get along, the only discomfort is having to say goodbye to the deceased.

    I would not hesitate to take my current wife to a funeral of a friend or family as she is my family now, she if anything else will be there for me, it matters not about anyone else.

    I only wish the next funeral I attend is my own, I?ve been to too many.
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