Just Got My Phone Call

dav1965 · December 19, 2018 04:59

I do not have cancer. It was a hard wait. It looked just like my cancer from the first time.

The reason i got my mad at myself is i try my best to keep myself on an even keel. I leave everything in Gods hands because his will, will be done.

I do not like my emotions to get outside of a box. I try and be me 24/7. If you see me 1 day and 10 years later i am still the same person.

Emotion to me is weakness and i do not like to be week.

The thought of cancer was more than i could control. Even though the doctor told me it was a simple fix i still knew what i went through last time.

For about 18 months every time i would start to feel better they would operate or give me chemo/radiation. It seemed everytime i would have 2 good days then they would bust me back to start. It was so bad my wife would plug me up to a machine so i could eat or drink. She would have to take my trach and clean it 4 or 5 times a day.

I can get in a fight and i have no emotion. You will not hear me yell or raise my voice i just stay the same except i hit you.

I like staying in control thats why you will never see me drunk or on drugs.

I will say things here where no one knows me because i would rather complain here because my friends or family will never hear me complain.

Just Got My Phone Call

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