Both Sides Of Cancer
Unfortunately i have been on both sides of cancer.
I had stage 4 cancer in the head and neck area. They removed about 90% of my tongue and cut me from ear to ear because of cancer in my lymph nodes. I had a 10% chance of making it. 6 surgeries chemo/radiation and i beat it. I was sick about 18 months total.
Going through the surgeries was not as bad as you would think. I have always had a high dose for pain from playing sports and kickboxing. However what bothered me the most was the throwing up part. I am a big baby when it comes to nausea. Sadly i would throw up for days at a time. I still remember the beds my wife would make in front of the commode so i would not have to get up.
With everything that was going on i would sometimes wake up in the wee hours of the mourning and find my wife crying in the living room. It hurt really bad that i was causing her this pain.
Now 8 years later my Mom is the one who has cancer. I can honestly say this is way harder to go through than being the one who has cancer. It is a different pain that i am not used to having.
I cried silent tears when i was in crazy pain and prayed to God to let me die because the pain was so bad.
With my Mom having cancer i have cried like a baby sobbing which i never did for myself. I am not my Moms primary caregiver because she lives with my sister. My sister is sick also and Mom helps my sister out with day to day living.
Being a caregiver is harder than having cancer yourself. I would rather fight cancer and lose than be helpless and pray for loved ones.
Whatever you do make sure you thank a caregiver because that job is way harder than you would think.
Then you think of things your Dad asked you to do. All he ever asked from me was to make sure Mom was taking care of. How did i take care of her when she now has cancer?
I pray every night that i can take her place or her pain.
Being a caregiver is special make sure you thank them every chance you get.
I had stage 4 cancer in the head and neck area. They removed about 90% of my tongue and cut me from ear to ear because of cancer in my lymph nodes. I had a 10% chance of making it. 6 surgeries chemo/radiation and i beat it. I was sick about 18 months total.
Going through the surgeries was not as bad as you would think. I have always had a high dose for pain from playing sports and kickboxing. However what bothered me the most was the throwing up part. I am a big baby when it comes to nausea. Sadly i would throw up for days at a time. I still remember the beds my wife would make in front of the commode so i would not have to get up.
With everything that was going on i would sometimes wake up in the wee hours of the mourning and find my wife crying in the living room. It hurt really bad that i was causing her this pain.
Now 8 years later my Mom is the one who has cancer. I can honestly say this is way harder to go through than being the one who has cancer. It is a different pain that i am not used to having.
I cried silent tears when i was in crazy pain and prayed to God to let me die because the pain was so bad.
With my Mom having cancer i have cried like a baby sobbing which i never did for myself. I am not my Moms primary caregiver because she lives with my sister. My sister is sick also and Mom helps my sister out with day to day living.
Being a caregiver is harder than having cancer yourself. I would rather fight cancer and lose than be helpless and pray for loved ones.
Whatever you do make sure you thank a caregiver because that job is way harder than you would think.
Then you think of things your Dad asked you to do. All he ever asked from me was to make sure Mom was taking care of. How did i take care of her when she now has cancer?
I pray every night that i can take her place or her pain.
Being a caregiver is special make sure you thank them every chance you get.
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it is tough Dave, I moved my mom in the last few months of her life shewas 93, I used to come home from midnight shift and peek in the bedroom and pray she was still breathing. the last month she was at the masonic home here in town and hospice called the last night and told me she probuble wouldn't make it through the night, she was just laying there hadn't been awake for 3-4 days. I told the girl if she asks for me call I'll be there in 5 minutes, but I just couldn't bring myself to go set by the bed and pray she would quit breathing after all those mornings. my only solice was I knew she was in a better place and wouldn't hurt anymore.
I know it is hard on all involved Dave, heres hoping and praying it goes as easy and painless on all involved, enjoy her as much as possible now and ask those questions you were allways wondering about in the family. good luck and god bless0 -
Each parent I lost was the most sorrow I have felt. Very difficult to lose a parent, especially MOM! Dave, You have survived unbelievable experiences. This too shall pass. Prayers! 0 -
I'm very sorry you're having to go through this event Dave.[V] 0 -
Heartfelt thoughts and Prayers go out to you and your Mom Dave.
-Ken-0 -
quote:Originally posted by dav1965
Unfortunately i have been on both sides of cancer.
I had stage 4 cancer in the head and neck area. They removed about 90% of my tongue and cut me from ear to ear because of cancer in my lymph nodes. I had a 10% chance of making it. 6 surgeries chemo/radiation and i beat it. I was sick about 18 months total.
Going through the surgeries was not as bad as you would think. I have always had a high dose for pain from playing sports and kickboxing. However what bothered me the most was the throwing up part. I am a big baby when it comes to nausea. Sadly i would throw up for days at a time. I still remember the beds my wife would make in front of the commode so i would not have to get up.
With everything that was going on i would sometimes wake up in the wee hours of the mourning and find my wife crying in the living room. It hurt really bad that i was causing her this pain.
Now 8 years later my Mom is the one who has cancer. I can honestly say this is way harder to go through than being the one who has cancer. It is a different pain that i am not used to having.
I cried silent tears when i was in crazy pain and prayed to God to let me die because the pain was so bad.
With my Mom having cancer i have cried like a baby sobbing which i never did for myself. I am not my Moms primary caregiver because she lives with my sister. My sister is sick also and Mom helps my sister out with day to day living.
Being a caregiver is harder than having cancer yourself. I would rather fight cancer and lose than be helpless and pray for loved ones.
Whatever you do make sure you thank a caregiver because that job is way harder than you would think.
Then you think of things your Dad asked you to do. All he ever asked from me was to make sure Mom was taking care of. How did i take care of her when she now has cancer?
I pray every night that i can take her place or her pain.
Being a caregiver is special make sure you thank them every chance you get.
I have been on both side ofvtgge fence to, but I never had cancer, my mother did. I had a ulcer on my secondary blood vessels. After so long it eat thru and I throw up blood. 1st time wss in El Paso, Tx. Tggey did nothing at the ER. Then once in OKC, they scope my stomach, and found the ulcer and tggey clamp it. My dispatcher sent me home to relax. The dog next door kept barking for over 5 hours and it got to me. And started throwing up blood again for the 3rd time. When to the ER thgat was only 2 miles away. Then sent me north to Kansas City, they put me in ICU. I really do not remember the stay, but the morning after Thanksgiving, it just let lose. Lose nine unit of blood and they had to squeeze blood into me. After 5hours of emergency surgery, I was in ICU again. After 4 days of being stable, they moved me to a regular room. From day one of all this, my wife was there, day and night, doing things for me without complaining. But I did found her crying a few times and I think losing me or the pain that I was in, and it nothing she could do for me. That what cause her the pain, so I never complain about the pain to her.
Your wife is a keeper just like my wife. Founding a woman will to be by your side and be your rock, priceless and a gift.
My mother got cancer when she was only 54 and pass away when she was 56, died on her birthday. I watch a proud woman turn to nothing and I made my peace with her and her cancer. My sister is a different, she took it very hard from the beginning, so I had to think for the family. My wife and I was driving 4.5 days(5800 MILES PER week) and took care of my mom for 2.5 days, while my sister took care of her 4.5 days and six months before her death, I brought in one of mother's sister. But in all, we made my mother last 2 years a comfortable as possible and only wish I took the pain from her, but couldn't.
Rob0
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