If you don't like someone make them your executor!
Yuck,
Mom passed away Thanksgiving day, she had listed me as executor. I live a couple hours away and dealing with probate, trying to make a reservation having her ashes added to Dads spot in Arlington, cremation, paperwork, securing valuables, and then finding out she had fairly large CC debt no one including her Husband knew about along with no assets to speak of. Probate says I have to have jewelry appraised but she has no money to pay for any appraisal! Probate people say I am not responsible for debts and such and then charged me a probate fee I had to pay out of pocket due to no funds LOL! The lady said you might want to hire a probate attorney I reminded her once again NO MONEY to pay for that! Wow, I love my Mom, but I sure wish she had added my Brothers name on that dang Will instead of me!
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Wipe your hands and walk away, no law that I know of says you have to be in charge. I did that to an Uncle when he passed a few years back but your laws may vary.
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I am thinking what Junkballer said. Just walk away.
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Go to probate court and RENOUNCE the position. There is a simple one page form which must be filled out and then filed with the court. Do it ASAP!
http://www.kanawha.us/documents/fiduciary/Declination_as_Executor_or_Executrix.pdf
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If the estate owes money, you have no obligation to spend any of your own.
If there is nothing of sentimental value, let the creditors handle the problem.
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never a good thing any time family gets involved even if nothing there seems to be a fight over what ever imaged or real
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I am the executor of my moms estate. I just sent the final paperwork To Greenville SC to close it out,as long as I dotted every I and crossed every T.
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Very sorry for your loss....let it all soak in a might before ripping into it....
I guess my folks really hated me then.....I was executor for my Dad, Step-Mother and Mom....it was mostly a thankless job but to honor them, I worked through it...
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Is there anything in writing that says what valuables were left in her estate? If not then I don't think you have any problem. Creditors don't know what, if any valuables she owned and any real estate held jointly can't be touched. (At least not in Missouri)
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redneckandy: 31548273133979/comments/31548259039771
Is there anything in writing that says what valuables were left in her estate? If not then I don't think you have any problem. Creditors don't know what, if any valuables she owned and any real estate held jointly can't be touched. (At least not in Missouri)
Speaking of "valuables"................those can be easily relocated. Take your valuable and memento items out before any assessment is made.
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Call the Register of Wills in her state. Most states have a simple free procedure for those who have almost nothing. That assumes that she didn't own any property, or have bank accounts in her name only, & her jewelry was all costume jewelry.
Neal
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Mama died of Dementia 2004 after being in a nursing 8yrs. My sister was guardian/executer/power-of-attorney over the
estate since Mama had been hospitalized in 1996. ln granting legal custody the judge said my sister would be accountable
to the courts and ME. My sister did not like keeping me informed... The question of funeral expenses had been addressed
years before with my supposedly setting up a savings account.. l asked over the yrs about the acc, and if it had an adequate
balance.. Ans was always the same. YES! Time came to pay for the funeral sis said it was time for me to pay my HALF. I
asked about Mama's burial account. She finally admitted there had NEVER been an account. Said she only told me that
because she didn't want to deal with me. i said, ''Well, you said were lying then but not now. Likely you have been lying
about EVERYTHING.'' She got REAL quiet then. l then said, ''You wanted the guardianship and the MONEY. Now its time to
pay a little bit back.'' Those were my last words to her. Sis got her money back when the house sold. Uncle Sugar got the
rest🤑 Haven't heard from her since😏
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mogley, of all the people she might have named, she trusted you. Try to do it right, but if it's insurmountable there's no shame in admitting you can't manage it.
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Pre planning is the key for the elder to make it simple. Funeral arrangements paid before death. Power of Attorney set up, that ends upon death. Executor assigned and will wrote. Life estate in the home. Being out of state of my Mother that state must have a co executor ...Moms Attorney.. So any contesting from family members won't get far in court since her Attorney does this for a living.
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With my Cancer issues I should have refused but my Brother lives much farther away and my sister and mom were estranged.
My step Dad pushed me to remove her stuff from his house so we did, again hindsight I should have said lets just hold on. He was worried his kids were going to go through her stuff, I really don't care she might have had 2k tops in retail new value jewelry.
I think having checked land records on line that she is not on the deed for the house she lived in with her second husband, he is worried they will place a lien on his home.
Her limited jewelry and personal possessions (I assume I don't have to inventory her undies) wouldn't bring more than a grand I would guess. And even then not sure who would buy other than a pawn shop which would offer much less.
I have a Probate court person supposed to call me next week.
She left a small insurance policy (3K) made my brother sister and I Beneficiaries so I assume the Insurance company will cut three checks one to each.
I will offer Step Dad the check I get towards her CC bill since I care about him and want to do the right thing morally regardless of requirement.
I assume the probate court will advise on selling jewelry.
The whole thing is depressing, I was really in a fog due to the Chemo and Radiation treatments and lack of nutrition for the past 6 weeks and Bam Mom is gone. I couldn't have changed anything but it still stinks.
Stepdad feels like she hurt him, said he thought they had a good open relationship and yet he didn't know about the CC issue.
A couple of the Grands are disappointed because while the jewelry wasn't worth much they wanted it for sentimental reasons. I guess if we pay appraised prices the probate may let us buy that out.
As several of you have noted, get it all done BEFORE you go!
She did a lot right though, prepaid her cremation costs, and gave away a lot of her stuff years ago to the grand kids.
I have called her every weekend since my Dad died in 1998 and been at her door step within hours for anything she has needed in those 22 years and miss her terribly.
I'll get through it, thanks for all the comments
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You are not responsible for Credit card debt. It is unsecured. Send the Death Cert. to the CC company and they will write it off.
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Unless she specifically wrote her second husband out of the will, would not the whole question for you be moot? Would not all her debts and assets simply pass to him? Or maybe since you posted the thread in the first place, my questions above are the moot issues and it is indeed in your lap and hubby#2 is SOL.
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bpost: 31548273133979/comments/31548232562715
You are not responsible for Credit card debt. It is unsecured. Send the Death Cert. to the CC company and they will write it off.
Unsecured but I think they could still get a judgement against any real property she owned at her death, that is the question of if she is on or off the deed I think
Rocky Raab: 31548273133979/comments/31548245592603
Unless she specifically wrote her second husband out of the will, would not the whole question for you be moot? Would not all her debts and assets simply pass to him? Or maybe since you posted the thread in the first place, my questions above are the moot issues and it is indeed in your lap and hubby#2 is SOL.
She only appointed me to see to it that her small things went to her grand children, and great grand child she left her share of any real property to him. I guess it being a second marriage for both their personal effects they wanted to go to their side of the family I really don't know why she listed me other than being the oldest son and my Stepdad being 90.
I personally have a family trust that all my real estate and assets are owned by already so no probate for wife or kids
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I am so sorry for your loss....I'm sure it has been extra difficult with your health issues. I can only imagine what you must be going through.
When mother passed she didn't have much, but she didn't really prepare anything so we are still dealing with all of it two years later. Probate isn't involved if you hold onto the estate for two years. I sent copies of her death certificate to anyone that sent a bill of any kind. My mother had some credit card debt and a few medical things pending. When the property tax came due on her place I paid it, but we haven't touched anything in there other than the sentimental things that people wanted and I donated her clothes to the nursing home/rehabilitation place she was in when she passed. Mother had been hospitalized for a few things and was in the rehab place to try to build up her strength to be able to go home, but it just went downhill from there.
This February will be two years and we are planning on selling her place as quickly as we can so I don't have to pay another year for someone to mow her yard. My cousin wants the land to build a garage on, but he doesn't want her house. He wants us to just "give it to him" though and he isn't known around the area as being easy to work with so nobody is jumping to buy the place. Its going to be a nightmare when my cousin sees the realtor sign go up.
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Sorry to hear of your loss.
I would not even contact the Probate court with no assets of value nothing to probate.
When my mother passed away in 1994 she did not have anything of value so no probate. She had a car loan and credit card balance and both were in her name only.
I sent a death certificate to cc company and they kept sending statements every month which I threw away. Called the cc company a couple of times and they said they had to send them. They did that for almost three years before they stopped.
I called car loan company they told me to drive to a local dealer that they named and give them the keys. I did that and never heard another thing.
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Sorry for your loss
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