A discussion of life's lessons learned the hard way. This usually involves pain!!
I'll start off with a minor life lesson learned the painful way.
Never shoot any semi-auto rifle unless you are wearing socks!! Why is this you ask?? I well remember a perfectly 223 shaped blister on the side of my foot. An ejected casing dropped right between my shoe and my sockless foot. By the time I got that casing out of my shoe I had a very large water blister on my foot!!
Keep them coming!! There has to thousands of painful life lessons out there!!
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Putting your bare leg on a motorcycle muffler.
Jumping on a huge Beach ball on an above ground pool from a picnic table. (Stitches involved on that one.)
Don't try and beat the rapidly closing garage door on your tricycle that your older Brother is slamming shut after beating you into the garage on his scooter. (Lots of stitches on that one.)
(1st set of stitches.) Mom was vacuuming the hardwood floor at our place in Germany in anticipation of a move. Ken being 1 year old, was running across the floor in his Walker (why were they called Walkers?) Hit the power cord at full speed and cartwheeled. Yep ER here we come.
Letting older kids dare you into touching your tongue to a frozen metal pole.
Got lots of em'.
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When you work the counter at an indoor range you need to develop a tactful way to explain to lady shooters that while all that cleavage is pleasing to the eye, it may not be the best idea when there is hot brass flying around. 12 -
Ricci: i would think helping those ladies remove the hot brass from that area would be a wonderful job for a range officer. 6 -
Sam06 will like this one. In Basic training at Fort Lost in the Woods 1980. Killing some time at the shooting range.
Guy starts tossing some gravel across the dirt road from a pile. Drill Sergeant spots him. He now has to move the pile from one side of the road to the other, one at a time, while counting them. When we had to march back to base, (like 8-10 miles) he had to fill up every single pocket on his BDU's with as much gravel as they would hold.
Oh, and when the Drill Sergeant tells you all to pick up cigarette butts in your dead time, it's best not to point out that you don't smoke.
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When I was about three, I tried to prove that one could ride a tricycle down the basement stairs. Tried it TWICE. 6 -
When you have paint on your hands, it is not a good idea to rub a handfull of jelly type paint stripper on them.... 0 -
Hmmm, when I was about 16 there was this case of old sweaty dynamite in a falling down shed... 0 -
Don't fall while ski jumping. You will break at least one bone. I happened to break a collar bone just before Christmas. My mother bought me a bar bell set for Christmas. She could not get it out of the trunk of the car, nor could my little brother, stayed there until about March,. Helped the traction on the old rear wheel drive Rambler. 0 -
Cutting up seriously Hot Peppers, then rubbing your eyes.
Being in the Gas Chamber with the Idiot that could not remember his Weapons # before we could all run out. (Like the Sergeants in the Gas Chamber knew everyones Weapon #.) We pummeled the Idiot when we finally got outside.
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DO NOT stick your finger in a blind hole. ANY blind hole. 
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When attempting to do a back flip off of the jump do not chicken out halfway through. If you're going to do it, then commit! I landed on the back of my head so hard it still hurts 40 years later!!! I've been told it was one of the most impressive ski wrecks anyone had ever witnessed!SW0320 said:Don't fall while ski jumping. You will break at least one bone. I happened to break a collar bone just before Christmas. My mother bought me a bar bell set for Christmas. She could not get it out of the trunk of the car, nor could my little brother, stayed there until about March,. Helped the traction on the old rear wheel drive Rambler.0 -
I've got a nice scar on the back of my head from doing a helicopter (on skis) and landing on some idiot that came in underneath me Neo.
When I got home that night, my bandana was frozen/stuck to my head from blood. Lost a big chunk of flesh on that one. I can feel the big scar right now. 🤕
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Don't install a meter box and disconnect on a eight foot 6*6 and then drop it into a 2 foot hole when you are 5'6" the resulting knocked out cold is as embarrassing as the big hole in your head. 6 -
If you're nailing a block on the back of a piece of wood with a pneumatic brad nailer, don't hold it in place with your hand.
If you have a bike that the chain slips, don't stand up to pedal uphill (that happened so often on my paper route over a 3 year period, I was actually surprised when my wife told me she was pregnant).
When you are sanding the front porch columns, don't put one foot on the top step of the ladder and then try to put the other one up there too. That one separated 4 ribs, dislocated 6 vertebrae, sprained my right knee and right ankle, and left a big knot on the back of my head. That's the reason I can't sleep in a bed anymore.
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When your parents buy you new shoes don't forget and leave them in the yard. I did it and it rained that night. My father found them in the morning and whipped butt good with the wet shoes. I understand it now, they didn't have money to waste. I never did it again.
When a nun asks you if your friend jumps off of a bridge are you going to do that too? Don't respond it depends how high it is. Rulers on knuckles are never a good experience.
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Don't ever hold a lit match over an open empty 5 gal. gas can! Singed the front bristles of my then princeton haircut as well as both of my eyebrows! My forehead was redder than a baboons butt for at least a week.
Never try to do a handstand from the handlebars of your Schwinn Stingray while cruising down a freshly paved tar & chip rural road. Especially while being closely followed by your beagle.
I learned a great deal from that one! Beagles can be blood thirsty little bastages!0 -
Try not to think of a 30-06 shell casing, ejected from the rifle of the shooter to your left, going down the back of your collar during a string of rapid fire in an important rifle match. 6 -
Never every in any case use an acetylene cutting torch to cut up a car body while wearing tennis shoes
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Falling off a car trailer while someone drives the car you just purchased on it. Breaking 4 ribs and driving home 800 mile. But that is peanuts to passing kidney stones.... 0 -
Always hire a professional to adjust an overhead door that has "coil springs" 3 -
Never try to pet a curious, cute little ermine standing on a stump.Make that, never stick your hand in a buzz saw or try to pet a curious, cute little ermine standing on a stump. (same results)
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black powder does not FFFFFIIIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ like it does in the old western, was holding a match over a pile and blew the flame down into it,,,,,, lost one eyebrow and half a mustache........ 3 -
sadly too many "stupid hold my beer stories " and enough scars as reminders .
as a young kid so many bicycle wrecks and injuries to list
a bit older and in in the early driver license era a few do not hang on the back of a car and see how fast you can run . at some point your feet leave the ground and letting go involves sliding down a gravel ally road rash comes to mind .
same car and many riders do not sit on top hanging on the luggage rack while the driver(s) we took turns . got to up death speed and swerved from side to side of the road trying to toss you off while the other car contestants in waiting on there turn to ride were tossing empty beer bottles up at you .
the owner of a store I worked at called me evil knevel for years watching me drive thru the parking lot even over a huge dirt pile when they were working close by in a old mustang I staked the landing but about took out the side of the store
a very close friend passed a few years ago ( we had drifted apart 20 some years ago ) him and I had too many car and truck adventures . I could fill book with all the dumb luck things we lived thru it my cars
I had not thought about for years at his wake I introduced myself to a lot of his family I had never met . he had told them a lot of the stories on me , when hearing my name I got a lot of attention I instantly became surrounded by people and OMG your Dave . we heard about your adventures ( funny he seemed to have left out his parts , RIP Ron )
my user name is sort of based on my no fear driving or dying when younger .
skip ahead when I was working construction I gained a few more life long mementoes in the form of pain from falling or being in the wrong place about being crushed with heavy equipment a few time only by the grace of God I did not die or suffer serious injury .
now being older I have added scars from just about ever tool in the tool box from utility knifes to table saws
I know most all of you have done and lived thru worse that I could imagine ( especially the vets and current servers and LEO y for you I tip my hat and say thank you )
just sharing a few of my hold my beer moments funny now thinking back how luck I truly was
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Don't ride your dirt bike up a 2x4 into a trailer with your wife watching unless you're very proficient.
Don't try to walk the new untrained German shepherd outside the yard on a gravel surface when you are 3 years old.
Don't stand up in the new outhouse and shoot holes in the steel drum with your shotgun after your dad forgot to drill some holes and tells you to go blast some holes in it with your 16 ga sxs unless you have hearing protection.
Don't downshift when going 95 mph to teach a lesson to the idiot tailgating so close you can't see his headlights for 5 miles.
Don't think the 12' ice is safe after someone moved his shanty before a snowfall.
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Why do mine usually involve mountain bikes?
1) At -20F do not let your bottom lip touch your handlebar going over a bump.
2) Make sure the axle quick-release lever is on the OPPOSITE side from the disc brake.
3) When the motion lights come on, don't always run out to see why0 -
Here is just one more bicycle experience. Always remember that chain guards are there for a reason! Especially if you try to look COOL in your brand new bell bottoms in front of the nice looking girls! 0 -
When you are 7 years old, and your parents tell you that a light socket is dangerous, believe them.
Don't stand barefoot on a concrete floor, and stick your finger into a live light socket, just to see for yourself if it really is dangerous.3 -
If you never did this ^^^^ when you were a kid, you were probably a wimp. 0 -
Standing on a kitchen chair on your tippie toes at 5 doesn't work either...good training for hoola hoops, though.allen griggs said:When you are 7 years old, and your parents tell you that a light socket is dangerous, believe them.
Don't stand barefoot on a concrete floor, and stick your finger into a live light socket, just to see for yourself if it really is dangerous.0 -
Having your experienced Ski friends/Buddies take you up to the top lift for your first run or two, telling you to "just point them downhill, you'll be fine." 🤕
Going downhill on Rollerblades on a REALLY steep hill. (Trust me.)
Anytime you utter the infamous words "Hold my beer, and watch this."
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