10 Years This Month
First i want to say that im sorry for all the people we lost on this forum and for their familys. I was friends with 2 and really close to one. I do not mean this to be disrespectful in any way shape or form.
10 years ago this month i was diagnosed with stage 4 head and neck cancer. I remember going to all the specialist in my area and all the doctors told me that they were sorry that their was nothing they could do that it was beyond their ability. The last doctor i went too told me he was sorry and i asked him if it was your mom what would you do.
We sat in his office and he made some phone calls and i was listening to half the conversation and 2 different doctors told him about a young doctor at UNC. When i say young under 30 and i was 45. My doctor made an appointment in about 10 days and when i went to see him he ran a whole lot of test and at the end of the day he sat down and talked to me.
He told me i had stage 4 cancer and i knew nothing about cancer at this time. I mean nothing. Im like ok what are my chances and he looked at the floor and told me maybe 5% and i was like ok 95% i will make it. He was like no its 95% you will not make it. He is still looking at the floor. He told me that if it was not for me being in great shape that it would be almost no chance.
After 4 to 7 surgeries later 3 major surgeries. The longest was the first one which was 16 or 17 hours. They did a double neck surgery and removed cancer from my lymph nodes in my neck. They removed about 90% to 95% of my tongue and replaced it with my thigh. They had to replace the veins in my tongue because of cancer and took the extra vein in my right leg and made me new veins. They kept me in a coma for a week so that i would not feel the pain.
I had 2 more follow up surgeries to make sure they got the rest of the cancer. I had some simple things done tike trachs, feeding tubes and 3 surgeries to shape my tongue so i could talk and swallow food better. Some people do not consider that surgery.
After all of that was chemo/radiation. It is truly amazing at what the body can go through. I had no idea this much could happen and you could still be alive. I was lucky people go through even more than what i did.
After i was told everything i remember going to my parents house and after supper going on the porch and watching the deer come out and telling my parents what was going on and that it was pretty bad. I remember my dad asking me what i was going to do and i told him that i dont understand and he asked me if i was going to fight or quit. I remember asking my dad if he ever known me to quit. He told me no that you never quit even when you should have. I also remember my dad telling me that i was the luckiest person he knew.
I told him how do you figure i am lucky and that i have terrible luck and he looked at me and said bad luck is luck also. All i could do is laugh. He was right again.
I was lucky enough to get past cancer however i did not beat cancer. Cancer whipped my ass, up, down and sideways. Every day for the last 10 years i have hurt more than i thought was possible. I will not go into how many times i prayed to God to please let me die. I take 120mg of oxy a day to get my pain to a 4 or a 5 sometimes more. However in 10 years i have never ran out of medicine or had to ask for more. Its a pride thing for me.
So when you think of loved ones you lost to cancer. Please dont think of them as having died but think of them as being in a better place. Sometimes earth is hell. Dying would have been easy, living is a lot harder.
In 10 years i have seen 5 more grandkids 6 in total now. I will say 59 out of 60 days suck but then you get the one great day when a kid or grandkid will do something special and it beats the pain.
Just remember sometimes when you lose, you win. Sometimes you think you won when you really lost. It is up to you to know or tell the difference and what you make of it.
10 years ago this month i was diagnosed with stage 4 head and neck cancer. I remember going to all the specialist in my area and all the doctors told me that they were sorry that their was nothing they could do that it was beyond their ability. The last doctor i went too told me he was sorry and i asked him if it was your mom what would you do.
We sat in his office and he made some phone calls and i was listening to half the conversation and 2 different doctors told him about a young doctor at UNC. When i say young under 30 and i was 45. My doctor made an appointment in about 10 days and when i went to see him he ran a whole lot of test and at the end of the day he sat down and talked to me.
He told me i had stage 4 cancer and i knew nothing about cancer at this time. I mean nothing. Im like ok what are my chances and he looked at the floor and told me maybe 5% and i was like ok 95% i will make it. He was like no its 95% you will not make it. He is still looking at the floor. He told me that if it was not for me being in great shape that it would be almost no chance.
After 4 to 7 surgeries later 3 major surgeries. The longest was the first one which was 16 or 17 hours. They did a double neck surgery and removed cancer from my lymph nodes in my neck. They removed about 90% to 95% of my tongue and replaced it with my thigh. They had to replace the veins in my tongue because of cancer and took the extra vein in my right leg and made me new veins. They kept me in a coma for a week so that i would not feel the pain.
I had 2 more follow up surgeries to make sure they got the rest of the cancer. I had some simple things done tike trachs, feeding tubes and 3 surgeries to shape my tongue so i could talk and swallow food better. Some people do not consider that surgery.
After all of that was chemo/radiation. It is truly amazing at what the body can go through. I had no idea this much could happen and you could still be alive. I was lucky people go through even more than what i did.
After i was told everything i remember going to my parents house and after supper going on the porch and watching the deer come out and telling my parents what was going on and that it was pretty bad. I remember my dad asking me what i was going to do and i told him that i dont understand and he asked me if i was going to fight or quit. I remember asking my dad if he ever known me to quit. He told me no that you never quit even when you should have. I also remember my dad telling me that i was the luckiest person he knew.
I told him how do you figure i am lucky and that i have terrible luck and he looked at me and said bad luck is luck also. All i could do is laugh. He was right again.
I was lucky enough to get past cancer however i did not beat cancer. Cancer whipped my ass, up, down and sideways. Every day for the last 10 years i have hurt more than i thought was possible. I will not go into how many times i prayed to God to please let me die. I take 120mg of oxy a day to get my pain to a 4 or a 5 sometimes more. However in 10 years i have never ran out of medicine or had to ask for more. Its a pride thing for me.
So when you think of loved ones you lost to cancer. Please dont think of them as having died but think of them as being in a better place. Sometimes earth is hell. Dying would have been easy, living is a lot harder.
In 10 years i have seen 5 more grandkids 6 in total now. I will say 59 out of 60 days suck but then you get the one great day when a kid or grandkid will do something special and it beats the pain.
Just remember sometimes when you lose, you win. Sometimes you think you won when you really lost. It is up to you to know or tell the difference and what you make of it.
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I like the way you think. 0 -
I am humbled by what a couple of members on here have accomplished with guts and determination. Bob 0 -
Damn dav1965........that is alot. I can relate though. Lost my dad at 12 years old to Non Hodgkins Lymphoma......he was 41 yo. I have now outlived him by 10 years and have survived testicular cancer and chemo myself. 0
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