The cemetery threads got me thinking. Your thoughts.
What I want when I go four feet up and get toe tagged is very simple. I don't want a normal funeral home funeral. Number 1 it is to expensive. Number 2 I don't like the concept (and the expense) of being embalmed. I don't like people much in the first place and the concept of lying there with people walking up and saying "Doesn't he look good." with me being the type who would want to say "Hell no I don't look good, I'm dead." I don't live where I grew up so I don't see very many people showing up in the first place so why spend a bunch of money for (To me) no good reason.
My concept, burn my old wrinkled butt, take a post hole digger to Ohio and bury my ashes on top of my first sons grave. (My God it has been 34 years and I still cannot not think of Peter without tearing up.) If anybody is so moved, hold a memorial service when it is most convenient for everybody coming to it because 100% I will not care. I think this can all be done for under $1,500 bucks. I think this makes all the sense in the world BECAUSE 100% I will not care. The problem...……. my wife. She wants the traditional funeral, traditional burial, wants to be able to visit my grave site. On one hand it makes me feel good she loves me that much but that is so much money to spend for (to me) no good reason.
So the real conumdrum, do I get things written up so what I want is what happens and make my wife very upset with me even though I wont care if she is mad at me because I'm dead!! Or do I let my wife do what she wants.
My first thought is, a few years later, she will be glad she didn't spend all that money. If I'm wrong I wont care because I'm dead!!
My concept, burn my old wrinkled butt, take a post hole digger to Ohio and bury my ashes on top of my first sons grave. (My God it has been 34 years and I still cannot not think of Peter without tearing up.) If anybody is so moved, hold a memorial service when it is most convenient for everybody coming to it because 100% I will not care. I think this can all be done for under $1,500 bucks. I think this makes all the sense in the world BECAUSE 100% I will not care. The problem...……. my wife. She wants the traditional funeral, traditional burial, wants to be able to visit my grave site. On one hand it makes me feel good she loves me that much but that is so much money to spend for (to me) no good reason.
So the real conumdrum, do I get things written up so what I want is what happens and make my wife very upset with me even though I wont care if she is mad at me because I'm dead!! Or do I let my wife do what she wants.
My first thought is, a few years later, she will be glad she didn't spend all that money. If I'm wrong I wont care because I'm dead!!
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I've told my sister many times: If I die in a bar overseas, which I would prefer, don't waste the money hauling my carcass back to the States. By the time they're done lifting my wallet and stealing my shoes, let them figure out what to do with my remains. If she'd like to hold a memorial service for me with an open bar (no sense letting all of this good booze go to waste) she is free to do so. After everyone is half in the bag, the general consensus might be that "Old Mark was a pretty good guy after all." 0 -
I'm glad there is at least one person who thinks like I do. Why waste the money! It might take more than "half in the bag" to decide 'Ol Todd was a pretty good guy after all. 0 -
Strangely there are people who don't understand that funerals are for the living not the deceased. You guys get it but a lot don't. I am not smarter than everyone else so I can't presume to know what is best for them. When I kick the bucket they can do whatever they want because like dreher says I won't know or care. Personally I think cemeteries are a waste of land but I seem to be in the minority. When I die they can have a wake because they will miss me or a party because they are glad I am gone. If they think a grave is necessary, it is up to them. Whatever makes them feel better is O.K. with me. Bob 0 -
I kind of like old cemeteries. I've walked many in about 17 states from Massachusetts south to Florida, the rest of the southern states, the border states of Kentucky and Missouri, and Oklahoma. Walked one with my Dad and a first cousin named James, where my paternal grandfather who died of the flu was buried in 1917...the season previous to the pandemic of 1918. That was back when in the 60s when I was a young Marine.
My father showed me the general location of his burial site, while my cousin was giving his opinion as to a more exact location as shown to him by his father. A headstone was not placed on his grave...just a small metal marker with his name and the usual particulars in an area where some old live oaks had once stood. I remember Dad and James moving their shoes around in the grass and leaves and saying something like it was about right here...in an area where the old church cemetery had been.
Story goes that there was no money to buy a marker. I imagine that there was good intentions to buy one and mark the spot of his resting place. I wish they had of marked his grave as I would like to visit there. My Sis and I had a stone made for him that now rests at the foot of an old oak tree, not anywhere near the exact location, but at least in the same church cemetery in a community known as Melrose, Texas.0 -
We've already prepaid for our funerals. My wife and I went with cremation and a small friends/family service; then, since I'm a Veteran, our cremains will reside in a Columbarium wall at DFW National Cemetery. 0 -
My instructions are recycle any parts anyone can use for any reason and burn the rest. Assuming I go before my wife she's welcome to have any sort of memorial send off she wants but if I outlive her I don't think anyone will be too much upset that I'm gone. I have specifically requested that the Honor Guard just toast me at the post and don't bother with any other ceremony. 0 -
Cremate me and spread me behind the 10th green at home.
Go back to the house and reminisce about all of my good traits.
After around 10 minutes of awkward silence, go about your lives.0 -
My only wish is to be cremated. Up to the living to choose - formal burial? party? headstone? throw the ashes somewhere? - it matters not to me. 0 -
I think Barb and I will have the same thing done, Bill.Old-Colts said:We've already prepaid for our funerals. My wife and I went with cremation and a small friends/family service; then, since I'm a Veteran, our cremains will reside in a Columbarium wall at DFW National Cemetery.0 -
I had a relative die recently and I had to take care of the arangements.The funeral home picked up the body at the hospital. The next day we owed the funeral home $5700 and all the had done was transported the body.The person had already paid for the cemetary plot,headstone and opening and closing even with that paid for it still it still cost another $12000. 0 -
Funeral directors are one of the top three "professionals" that are major rip-off artists. Right up there with lawyers and realtors.
"Never have so many, done so little, for so much."
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The land I bought in TN has an old settlers family cemetery. It has 8 open spots. I own it and can be buried in it. I will spend eternity on my land next to people from the 1800's whom I never knew but thats ok with me. 0
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