Skip to main content
Help Center Community Shop

The thread about going to an old cemetery got me thinking....

mohawk600
Just how many people actually go to cemeteries to visit their loved ones on a regular basis?
I don't........I don't find comfort or commune in it.
0

Comments

8 comments

Date Votes
  • hillbille
    I mow an old family cemetery and few years ago put my "headstone" there.  a simple patio block with my name painted on it, I told family to just dig a hole and drop me in, if they can handle the no casket part it won't bother me though I don't know it the wife will go and do it.  Though it is strange to mow your own grave..........
    0
  • Ditch-Runner
     my wife visits ( I go with her about 1/2 the time ) to visit her parents she adds a wreath for each season /holiday 
     I go by my parents but not very often , I have not been to my grandmother ( the only other some what local grave ) for many years
    as a kid my parents would take a bit of time hour or three  a few times a year while visiting relatives down south to go by my older brother's grave and clean off the weeds and get it some what in order  its in a very old church yard in Tennessee a lot of unmarked graves my brothers is one and a couple cousins next to him . he was about a month old ( sad story but no need to tell it )  no one had the money to buy a head stone and the wood markers were long gone . my parents did get a very simple marker for it a few years before they passed . I  think it was something they wanted but never talked about 

    my wife tells me to just cremate her and spread her in our pet cemetery in our back yard at least she knows some one would have to visit while mowing the grass   other wise like countless graves once your ther no one ever stops by 
    it seems to be a sad fact no one does it any more
                      sorry I have too add the following which may should be another post 

    one more comment I have made most of my life to family and friends and I am sure holds true with many  . when some one passes people will take the time  off work away from daily duties and so on to pay there respects even travel many miles but while alive no one will take away from the busy days just to visit  which is a bit sad but I am guilty 
     the deceased may have loved to see these same people  and enjoyed a day visiting after many years 
     when we knew my dad had less than year I took him on a road trip back to Tennessee for several days e did the best we could 
     to find by word of mouth old friends and family had not seen for 40+ years . we were able to find more than a few 
     one of the moments I spent with my dad I will never forget giving him the few minutes whit his old pals and family 
    that was pre-internet days some did not even have a phone 


    3
  • bullshot
    I visit the graves of my parents and my best friend
    0
  • pulsarnc
    Visit in spurts maybe two or three times a year . My brother visits his twins grave every three or four weeks . Our brother took his own life a few years ago and it has hit my remaining brother hard . Seems to give him solice to visit 
    0
  • Horse Plains Drifter
    bullshot said:
    I visit the graves of my parents and my best friend
    Same here, as often as I can anyway.
    0
  • chme
    Recently have had occasion to spend some time looking into arrangements.  My bride is in home hospice care, and we realize that her days are few.  Found a local company that will provide cremation services for right at $1300.  Does not require coffin, vault or embalming.  My lady is British by birth, and always had something of the horrors at the traditional Southern open coffin "Don't he look nachal" funeral.  (No, dammit- he look DEAD)  

    We have a flower garden about 50 yards from the house that my wife has always loved- have talked with our kids, and they understand that THAT is where we are both going, and they are fine with that.  Perfectly legal here in VA, anyone that does not approve of it overvalues the importance of their opinion in our lives.  


    Different folks will have different wishes for themselves, and it should be THEIR choice, not what somebody else tells them it should be.  Remember an obit from a couple of years back- gent had died, been cremated.  Friends were invited to their cabin on the river for drinks and memories, and at dusk his ashes were to be fired over the river from his favorite cannon.  I liked the idea of having a FAVORITE cannon!
    0
  • wundudnee
    My late wife and I have a stone and my current wife and her late husband have a plot and stone in the same cemetery. I'm to be cremated, so I told my current wife to just pour half of my ashes on each grave site. It will save me running back and forth to both wives.

    Honestly though, we do make the rounds every year and decorate. I also go by my two great grandfather's graves. they both were in the civil war and I honor them. I put a flower on  my name sake grandfather that died in 1919 in the flu epidemic. Nobody else knows or even cares, but I feel a connection.
    0
  • dok2u
    I would like to go to visit my late wife's grave, but unfortunately it is in the state of New York and I refuse to spend a single cent in that state that my go to pay the salary of the demoncrap a...holes that have hijacked that state!  When we got married and we would visit with her family there, it was wonderful.  Her father was a funeral director and I learned a great deal about the importance of funerals and mourning from him.  He wanted to die in his own home, so we went to New York to take care of him.  He died in my arms.  His wife, my mother-in-law and my wife's mother, passed a few years later, but in a hospital after seeing what a strain her husband's care and passing had put on her daughter.  Then just a few years later her daughter -- my wife -- passed in my arms in our home in Ohio.  That was tough, but we had two funerals, one in Ohio for friends, colleagues and family, and another in New York for friends and family.  Each one was a little more difficult than the last.  In fact, the funeral in New York was so difficult that I couldn't get myself together enough to drive to the cemetary for the burial.  I haven't been back since then.  I've seriously considered bringing her back to Ohio but I refuse to pay anyone in New York to do that.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her.  I've come to compensate for it somewhat by taking more time to visit the graves of those who cared for me and loved me as a child -- the neighbor lady who helped raise me along with her son who was a few months younger than me, her husband who was a great fellow, a veteran and always had time for me, and his father who was also a veteran but of both World War I and II and cultivated my interest and knowledge of firearms and collecting.  I'll be putting flags and flowers on their graves this Friday, along with flags on about a half dozen other vets' graves as well as flowers on the graves of about a dozen other folks.  Almost everyone that I knew or cared about, with one exception, has passed; so that's all that I have left.  Thanks for asking.
    0

Please sign in to leave a comment.

Recent Activity