It'll be one year tomorrow the 21st of October...

Smitty500mag · October 20, 2022 17:18

Since my wife June died. Hard to believe it's been one year since that damn disease took her. The pandemic virus comes and goes but cancer continues without taking a break. I've still not been able to bury my wifes ashes. I still can't stand the thoughts of putting her in the ground and driving off from the cemetery leaving her there alone. I know, I know she's not really there but why do people continue to visit gravesites of their loved ones if they don't think they're still there? So our sons have promised me they'll put my ashes with June's when I check out and bury us both at the same time in the same urn. We're still going to have a memorial for her now that I've healed up from my near death experience since that terrible morning and my oldest son's wife is in remission from her stage 4 brain cancer which is a miracle. My youngest son's wife had to finally quit her job due to something that the doctors can't figure out why she can't raise her arms up past her waist without excruciating pain. She has more testing coming up next week.

I was thinking it couldn't get any worse than this past year but as I was writing this message last night my Mom called and said that they discovered my sister has breast cancer yesterday morning. They did a needle biopsy and confirmed it is cancer and she had a MRI early this morning to see if it's spread to other parts of her body which she won't get the results back for a couple of days.

It's been a rough year all around for the women in my family. Actually it's been a rough decade or two. When our two daughters passed on June and I had each other to get us though those tough years. I never though anything could ever be any worse than that but without June there's no getting through this and now with my sister who knows how that's going to turn out but I can just about guarantee you it's not going to go well. I now know how Job in the bible must have felt. The only woman in my family that's not been attacked by some disease is my 92 year old Mom who I call my Teflon Mom because no matter what life throws at her it just don't stick.

As for me I had a hard time with my family doctor after June's death and my medical problems. He wouldn't give me anything to help me sleep or do anything with my nerves. Luckily my cardiologist did. He said what I'm prescribing you is not going to be easy to quit but if you don't sleep and calm down you're not going to make it. He said we'll cross that bridge when the time comes. He said I've already put your heart back together once when one of my arteries ruptured the day June died and he said he didn't want all that work to go to waste. He's a good man and has a great sense of humor but I told him you did a great job but you actually didn't do me any favors that day.

This year has been like the movie ground hog day. Every morning is the same day over and over again and again except in my movie it gets worse everyday instead of being the same and it'll never end it appears until it finally does end once and for all.

Well you guys take it easy I'm headed to Knoxville so Mom doesn't have to be alone if my sister has to undergo surgery which I'm pretty sure she will. If I have to go through another 3 years of caring for my sister like I did my wife I don't think I could do it again. Sitting beside of a loved one 24 hours a day and watching that disease turn them into a skeleton is more than a person should have to go through or any person should have to witness. I pray none of you guys ever have to witness anything like that. I know some of you have but for the rest of you get your wife to take every test there is for that terrible disease and don't take just one doctors opinion. That's what killed my wife the orthopedic doctor told her it was arthritis and it turned out to be cancer that could have been cured if it was caught early enough.

It'll be one year tomorrow the 21st of October...

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