Funeral In A Cpl. Hours -
Had not posted about it before, but my Mom's next oldest Sister (Mom is the oldest at 94) Vida who was 92-93 and really close to my Mom - They looked out for each other and went places together. Well, She fell (had fallen several times over the last several months.) took her eye out on the way down. Layed in a pool of blood all night, until my Cousin found her the next morning.
She was rushed to the Hospital and had surgery on the eye. The Dr's said right away, they could not save the eye. Declined pretty quick. She had a DNR & No Intubation order. They moved her to a "Step Down Unit," because they could do nothing else for her. (She fell two weeks after my Mom had fallen and broke her hip.) Vida passed a couple days ago.
We have not been able to tell Mom (her Sister) because Mom is in a bad way. The Parkinson's has made her very irrational, hallucinogenic, paranoid etc. We are afraid it would just send Mom into a spiral. My Sister, God Bless Her is exhausted, dealing with it all.
Latest from my Sister, yesterday :
Not good. It's pretty rough here. She isn't sleeping. She has started threatening to kill her nurses. Yells at the other residents to "get out while they can". I get calls in the middle of the night. Mom has called 911, 5 times saying she had been abducted.
It's exhausting and sad. I've started looking for assisted living and memory care for her, unfortunately. We are in for a rough ride.
Me- Its been a very rough Month. My Son is also going through a particulary bad time. Health wise (back) and emotionally. His long time girlfriend and "Soul Mate," walked out on him a couple weeks ago. He's "Broken." I'm worried about him. My Sister's husband went through Hip Surgery about a week ago. (A great guy. Afghanistan Combat Vet. Major in a Military Intelligence Unit. Inserted with Spec Ops in the boonies.) One of my Ranger buddies was part of his "Physical Security Team."
Prayers for my Family.
Sorry, for the long post. This is the only place I really share.
- Ken -
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Sounds like you are really under the pile right now Ken...... Prayers for Peace, discernment, and direction in dealing with these difficult issues.
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Sorry for your woes.
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God Bless Y'all for having the DNR and No Intubation order on Aunt Vida. Takes some guts and it is the right thing to do.
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When the burden gets too heavy pass some of the load on to God. He will help carry you through the worst of it.
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Sorry to hear prayers from here for all of you
Sounds like you have quite the mental burden gong on with friends and family right now
When my MIL was in the her last days and in a nursing home her oldest son passed away( long story on him)
but the family decided not to tell her her about Gene
Her health was so far down having a lot of mini strokes one had blind and so any organs were shutting down . We knew it would devastate and really just finish her off if told
The plan was ifshe ask the daughters would say he was back in treatment He had a history of dry out clinics after leaving (nam ) and would visit asap.
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Thanks all. If Y'all have never been to a real Country Funeral, you've missed something really special.
Headed to the Country Church for a Meal and a Celebration of Life, now.
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Thanks all. If Y'all have never been to a real Country Funeral, you've missed something really special.
Headed to the Country Church for a Meal and a Celebration of Life, now.
My southern family held wakes and would bring the deceased to the house for the day ,overnight and then to the cemetery following afternoon people would bring food and have a huge get together
As a kid it was a bit strange and a bit scary . my dad and i slept on a old couch next to my grandfather coffin that was truly scary for a small kid
But I spent many a night in the house with some one in their coffin in the same room or next room over
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The country/southern 'wake' is indeed an event to behold. I've been to a few and each was a celebration of life, a communion with friends & family & loved ones, and a million stories being told.
Because that is how people truly support one another in times of need. With stories, with true concern and consideration, and open hearts. And casseroles. Plenty of casseroles.
Hope everything is going OK for you and your family, @KenK/84Bravo . And I hope the stories & food continue on for days.
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The only " sitting up with the dead" overnight wake I ever attended was my Grandmother's funeral. Casket was set up in the front room of the homeplace . The trip to the cemetery was short as she was buried in the family plot . It was out back of the house.
My family grew up as southern missionary baptists.When they feed the family it is an all day affair .
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So sorry, 84. You mom was a true jewel.
Prayers for the family.
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I also remember sitting up with the dead. Sometimes at the deceased home, sometimes at their home church. I think it is a requirement if the family chooses not to use the funeral home for a full service.
Some funerals I have been to are just like a happy family reunion. Others not so if the deceased was not living on this side of Easter. About the saddest one I ever attended was a good friend started running around with the wrong crowd, as long as he could buy their liquor and beer he was the hit of the party. Aids took its toll on him, not one of his "buddies came to his funeral.
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Sending you prayers Ken....
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Prayers for all
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Ed/@Butchdog3, your most graciously agreeing to do and completing the Bathroom re-do @my Mom's house - enabled her to continue living there a couple/three more years safely.
We are most in your debt and Thank You, Sir.
Most appreciated.
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When the burden gets too heavy pass some of the load on to God. He will help carry you through the worst of it.
Thanks Bruce.
We had 3 different Southern Baptist Preachers that knew my Aunt/Family, speak at her Funeral. (My Aunt went to the same Church for 90+ years.) The Preachers gave fond remembrances and funny stories about Aunt Vida and my Grandparents. (Glenn and Polly) All gave short but moving Sermons. I cried several times.
It was a fitting send off.
(And) Yes, God was in the House.
*Sorry, crying again just now.
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I've been in your shoes many times. The best way to get through it is to remember the good times, the funny times, and pass on the stories.
You and your sister have my sympathies.
Joe
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My condolences go out to you and your family Ken. Funerals are very tough on me and whenever possible I try to avoid them. Of coarse, many times they are unavoidable. Seems over the last few years the traditional funeral has gone more to a commemorative get together for the deceased, who may have even passed on quite a long time ago.
I have a lot of memories of attending funerals for many of my close family members and one that sticks with me is the one for a very close to me aunt. Aunt Kathy was born in London England and was married to my late uncle Bill who was an Army retired Veteran. When my mother was sick and dying of cancer, aunt Kathy was always at our house doing all of the household chores, cleaning and cooking and taking care of all of us who were aged from 8 years old to my older brother who was 18. There were 8 of us still living at home at the time.
When aunt Kathy passed away from cancer herself several years later, I sat between two other aunts, one on each side of me during the funeral service with each of them holding my hands so tight they went numb!
Then as time passed, I also attended both of these aunts funerals, remembering each's hands clenched in mine.
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Ken, prayers for you and your family. I'm really sorry to hear about all your troubles. Just know that you have friends here, to lean on. Love ya Brother. Oakie
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